Painful sex

Posted , 5 users are following.

Hi ladies

I had my anterior and posterior repair done on 1st May. My doctor said everything was great at my 6 week check up and I've been seeing a pelvic floor physio to help with my dribbling bladder. I told her a few weeks ago that sex was still painful and not successful. She suggested I buy a set of dilators ... which I did. Inserting all the different size dilators isn't a problem and quite painless ... but when it comes to intercourse with hubby it doesn't work. Seems like for some reason it just doesn't fit ... ends up causing pain .. he gets worried he's hurting me and then it's all over. Any thoughts? It's a bit depressing really 😥😥

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20 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Kym, 

           It can take a good few months, deeper tissues still healing for many months beyond the 3 months post op, and body may still be forming scar tissue. 

            I was around 3 months post op after first repair and had to use lots of lub and hubby still had to go easy, I was about 6 months post op before it was comfortable enough.

                                Now had second lot of repairs and it took much longer, was 4 months post op this time and still difficult, can't cope with most of the position (best one is lying on my side and spooning) , so much nippy scar tissue which maybe didn't form as well as it could have (had to go back to work at 3 months post op which was far too early) , so very dry and some areas where scar tissue has formed around/inside vag... opening just not getting enough moisture and when we use lube can get too moist.  

             So many nerve ending in the pelvic floor area for obvious reasons so not surprising that it takes time to get back to normality. 

                         They really underestimate recovery times, when I had my appendix out years ago I still had nippy pain from scar area years later and that area doesn't need to support all the pelvic organs. 

         So I'm 2 and half years post op now and while I still get nippy pain when I over do things (heavy day at work, bad non supporting chair or too long on my feet ) but sex can be so much better too, things have slackened off a little and my life saver is my topical estriol cream which has thickened up the dry scar tissue and as long as I use it regular to target the problem areas I can cope with work and sex. 

              Give it a few days/weeks and keep trying, you will get to where you want to be x

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    • Posted

      Hi phyl

      Thank you so much for replying. I have been feeling a bit like a failure. My specialist said 6-8 weeks for sex so I've been wondering wot is wrong with me. Knowing that I'm not alone helps tremendously 🤗

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    • Posted

      Hi kym

      Definitely not 6/8 weeks like they say.

      I had my tvh and anterior repair done January this year.

      Although I had no.pain I just didn't feel confident enough til 6 months. I definitely feel I have my body the right amount of time to.recover internally.cover

      It can take longer for ladies who.had back.wall done and the vagina is a lot smaller but it can stretch over time.

      I use yes lub.every time.now.and it's painless.

      My consultant told me no.sex withoyt.lub as.It can cause the fragile tissues to tear.

      I'm sure all will be fine,it just takes time to recover from.

      If you want to try yes lub you can order off there website or you can get them.off gp.

      They are all organic and natural,no smell no.stickiness just like out own moisture.

      Good luck it's hard on us all mentally too.x

      .

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    • Posted

      Hi welshgirl

      Thanks for ur response. Wot is the name of the lub? Where does it come from? I'm in Australia. Thank you 😙

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    • Posted

      Yes Yes Yes. They are a fabulous company and are worldwide shi pping.

      The Customer service is second to none,brilliant ladies who will answer any questions.

      The products are all natural and organic.

      Good luckx

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    • Posted

      I use the water based lub.and vaginal moisturiser. I am.on vagifem from doctor as I have done early Meno at age 45 so oestrogen a bit low in vaginal tissues.

      Hope that helps you kym.x

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    • Posted

      I do believe consultant expect every lady to follow the same rule.

      We are all different and unique.

      We do not heal all at the same rate. My consultant was very happy when i.told him i had return to.intercourse and that was 6 mths 😂😂. My hubby wasn't a nagger and just waited patiently. There are other ways of intimacy if you feel like being close. I.personally wasn't ready.

      Now all is ok accept from some granulation tissue which has been burned off.

      It's a tough road love but we will get there x

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  • Posted

    Kyn04

    I had a cystocele and retalcele and a mid slim with a anterior repair and is only being 6 days. On the sex part I don’t know. Hopefully in few months I fine out I let you know right know I’m looking for others with my type of sergery and what to look forward and sex is one of my worries. Wish you the best and keep in touch 

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  • Posted

    I also had the pain ... it took til about 3 months before it was bareable - wait until then and try again !   Plenty of lube as well as a glass of wine to help relax as you will probably preempt the pain which just makes things worse ...good luck! X
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    • Posted

      Hi

      I'm 4.5 months post op. I wish the doctors would give us more realistic expectations as I was told as soon as the stitches had dissolved ur good 2 go. My husband can only get about halfway in ... then if he tries 2 push further the pain is excruciating. Then of course that kills the mood and it's all over. It's very frustrating and makes me less inclined 2 want 2 keep trying 😢

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    • Posted

      Hi Kym,

            Depending on type of stitches used some come out earlier while others take much longer to come out. 

                   X

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    • Posted

      Kim it was exactly the same for me ... relaxing is the only way forward ... it took about a month or so of trying once a week after 3 months for it to go all the way.. hubby would go half way then we would stop and do something else and then one day boom !  Being tense ales everything worse and more sinful  ...it will be ok just give yourself at least 6 months x
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    • Posted

      Kym

      Sex c an be painful after after a@p as they reduce the size of the vagina.

      It will take time to stretch out but may take a while.

      I sushi had my repairs together but my consultant won't do.it because of this reason.I will have to get more Surgery if it gets w o rse.

      Use yes lub and you will be fine.

      I was 6 mths before I had intercourse.x

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    • Posted

      Far from abnormal.. I never thought of sex till at least 6 mths.

      They reduce the vagina when a@p so its only natural.it will be uncomfortable for a few times.x

      Report Reply

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