Pandora, dating
Posted , 5 users are following.
Sorry for this rant, but I have no one to talk to. My post a couple months ago was the first time I’ve ever told anyone. Of course I don’t know anyone here, but it was big. It’s been rotting inside me for so long. But Pandora slapped me awake. I was listening to Pandora on an aux cord and instead of music I was suddenly listening to an ad about hs. I wasn’t in the car alone. In my life, I’d never heard or seen anything about hs awareness. My heart was pounding, I was speechless. In those few seconds I wasn’t the only one. I knew I wasn’t. But it hit me hard. The other person in the car commented, “the hell is hs?” I could feel the color drain from my face, “don’t know.” I said. It hurt. But I was also alive. Awareness. I want people to know what it is. I don’t want to feel alienated anymore. So, thank you for that, Pandora. It’s one step. But a step.
I’m 20. I’m young. I’ve never been sexually active. Having hs for seven years, there was never a point in my life where I could be with someone. Dates, yes. But I’ve stopped a while ago. It feels like I’m leading them on, and I am. I can’t commit to a relationship, because a lot of people’s definitions of relationship include sex. So does mine. I want to be a sexual person, but I could never put myself and my condition out there to someone who would find it repulsive. I find myself repulsive, but that’s besides the point. I’m wondering, has anyone with hs begun a relationship with someone else who also has it? I understand there would most likely be a mutual understanding between partners. I think that would be very comforting.
1 like, 3 replies
nikki_13893 feelinirie
Posted
Hello,
Im sorry your going through this, but your not alone. I have had HS for a couple of years now, but I didn't let it control my dating life. I meet my fiancé 2 and half years agao and just explained to him what I have and he was understanding. He doesn't have it. We have a very active sex life. Prior to meeting him I never allowed HS to control my dating life. You have to first be comfortable with your body and know your beautiful. You are not repulsive so don't ever say that or think it. Think positive and if your a believer in God ask him for the strength you need. He will give it to you. You will find that right person that will understand and not care. Don't give up. Hope this helps.
God bless!
paige11595 feelinirie
Posted
I know where you’re coming from. I’m 22 and I felt like that all throughout college and never let anyone get close to me and thought i was gross. But it’s NOT TRUE. HS is literally just an autoimmune disease, it’s your body’s inability to keep bacteria out from underneath your skin. It’s not your fault, it’s not unnatural, you are perfectly normal. You have to start seeing yourself as beautiful and not feel ashamed. It’s not contagious, and if your take care of it, you can lead a healthy sex life. If you have wounds in your groin, bandage them up. No problem. You have to own this disease and not let it own you. You have it forever, even if it’s in remission, it’s something you’ll always have. I’m sure you won’t ever love your disease, but know you have this huge community of people here who support you and understand. And your friends will too if you explain it.
Jb7567 feelinirie
Posted
You are not alone, I'm a 48 year old male who has been dealing with this dreadfully disgusting disease since 2009 and I've had multiple surgeries in all of the infected areas. Both armpits, inner thighs, groin ,& both buttocks areas. Besides the pain and the awful malodor it leaves your quality of life index is severely affected. First and foremost a lot of people don't know about our disease so don't expect people to empathise with you and trust me intimately it's hard to find someone because unfortunately our disease is around a lot of our intimate areas. People may automatically think you have some type of STD but they are wrong. Our disease is not contagious and you have to remember that u are a special person. Put it to u this way, your not painfull , smelly, gross looking , the disease is and you didn't ask for it to infect you it just did. Learn to embrace this disease and realize their is no cure but at the same time your gonna learn as much as you can about it and find find out what works best for you to control it. Im gonna be 49 and I have two beatifull children ( 17& 28) I lost my wife to Cancer in 2005 and then got infected with this disease in 2009. I've been at the lowest of all lows but I'm not dead yet. Keep fighting and lots of luck. I hope I have given u some inspiration. God Bless and Happy Holidays. Remember don't let HS define you.