Panic when I don't get a text back

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It's so silly but when my boyfriend doesn't text me back I have such anxiety and almost a full blown panic attack. I need to get this under control so that I don't rely on a response from him to feel normal.

I know my anxiety stems from me not ever feeling worthwhile or good enough and I'm working with a therapist to deal with it. I'm not on meds and would like to try to deal with this without medication.

I just want to conquer this anxiety. Some days I'm curled up in a ball and can barely leave the house.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

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5 Replies

  • Posted

    Just wanted to say, that.. you're not alone. I'm the same with my partner and close family. Sometimes even friends.

    Makes your mind go on over drive.

    What I did was told everyone to wait 10 minutes to reply to me, no matter what. So that in future if they didn't reply straight away I could calm myself by telling myself "they're not replying because you told them not too yet" sort of making it okay for them to not reply right away because I could logicalise it as I asked them not to therefore it was a valid reason why they didn't text back rather than paranoid seeping in and my mind throwing horrible unbearable thoughts all over the place. May not help you much but I hope you find something that works for you.x

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    • Posted

      Thank you for the advice. It's really just good to know I'm not alone in this. It feels a little ridiculous to get so worked up over a text message. And when I start thinking how ridiculous I am it just makes the panic worse. Knowing that I'm not alone in having this trigger is helpful.

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    • Posted

      No worries! It may seem silly and insignificant and unjust, believe me I know! But anxiety has its ways of affecting people in different ways.

      I used to be highly anxious as soon as it started to get dark, and have panic attacks. Not because I was scared of the dark. I didn't know why it would happen, but it was just one of my triggers. What I do is find a way to work with it. Find a way to make myself more comfortable and able to cope. As I did with the texting thing. When I had my trigger of night time I tried many things, in the end I found something that worked. I went to bed an hour before everyone else in my house, so there were still people about if I had a sever attack. I'd watch a program and read and light candles and have a lamp on. Just to calm me. For ages I'd literally stay up all night watching YouTube or talking to friends on the internet that lived in different time zones so it felt like it was daytime to me. But after a while I became exhausted from the change on sleeping pattern and only sleeping during the day for a maximum of 5-6 hours.

      My anxiety has tried many many ways to break me down. And each time I find a way to deal with it, it finds something new. But I guess it's just about adjusting to make ourselves comfortable in our anxieties and to not avoid them. I'm glad you've found some comfort in knowing you're not the only one. (:

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  • Posted

    This sort of thing can put real pressure on a relationship and I think its a good idea to try and control it. I think Kellies approach is sound though you might want to try agreeing only to respond to texts at very specific times during the day (and not to many.) This way you wouldn't expect an immediate response.

    The more your anxiety about a relationship starts to control your behaviour the more damaging it can be, it can drive people away & become a self fulfilling prophecy. If you know there shouldn't be any immediate response, you might get nervous initially, but it will, over time play on your mind less. Good luck !

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  • Posted

    Hello blue

    There are Relaxation Techniques you can try, Mindfulness id the Theraphy you could try and your GP or Therapist may be able to supply you with tapes, and an explanation on how to use them. Breathing techniques can also be tried.

    The problem regarding self worth should be dealt with by your Therapist as will your Agrophobia. They shoud also look towards desensitising you and that will help you control your fears

    Always around


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