Paper fairy would rather be dead

Posted , 9 users are following.

I have now been bingeing for 4 days. I am destroyed. I started hallucinating this morning so had to get alcohol. This is my worst since September last year. I have phoned the dr and she says I need to go to AnE. I've explained to her that A and E just chuck you out in the middle of the night and you hate yourself so much that you drink again. I've begged her to give Diazapam, Librium or Lorazapan. I want to get well again but I'm terrified of the hallucinations. She isn't my dr and is now going to talk to my dr, senior dr. She said re alcohol Advisery addaction etc but I told her how useless they are. She did not know.. So waiting for a call back. I have refused to go to a n e but she said she will try and fast track me to medics?? 

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  • Posted

    I've had enough. I'm desperate and destroyed. I truly wish I was dead. The man I loved and lived with for 4 years has destroyed me. And taken my money with him. He paid back some but still owes me £3000 plus. He's just disappeared to Italy ...
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  • Posted

    I'm so sorry to read your post, paper fairy.

    I totally agree with and understand what you said about A & E. Waste of time.

    GPs, especially if they don't know you, are always reluctant to give any benzos to patients. Can you possibly ring the surgery and make it clear that this is a serious emergency, and can you talk to the senior doctor? Failing that, have you tried the Mental Health Crisis Team in your area? Your GP's receptionist will know their number. You're going through such a bad time - my heart goes out to you. There you are, screaming for help, and not getting any. Possibly your doctor will be able to fast-track you through to medics - but why doesn't s/he just prescribe you a few diazepam or similar to help get you out of this bad patch? It makes me angry when people have to suffer - all because doctors (who started us all on valium anyway) are now so badly misinformed that they won't give any at all, even in cases of obvious need.

    Isn't there a walk in centre for addicts in your area? If there is, perhaps you should go there? Unless you've already tried them in the past and they didn't help.

    One other thought - wait until your surgery is closed, then dial 111 and ask for an urgent, right now appointment to see the doctor on call. They will probably give you enough medication to get you throough the worst of the hallucinations.

    So sorry to read that your partner has deserted you and has taken loads of your money - to Italy. That's enough to get you started up with the alcohol big time. I really hope you find a way out of this - let us know - we'll be thinking of you. Love Tess.

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  • Posted

    Now, chin up PF, you don't really want to be dead, there is plenty of time for that later.

    You have two options at the moment, convincing your GP to give you diazepam (they don't usually hand out Librium) or if the doctor can get you into the hospital, they are less likely to throw you out. But, they may want to section you, because they might deem you not mentally stable.

    And you can call me all the bad names under the sun, but I would tend to agree with them, I don't think some time away from your current position would do you any harm and it would keep you off the alcohol.

    I worry that if the doctor gives you diazepam, who is going to administer it. You need to be in sound mind and well, neither of which I think you are. Would you know how much to take and when? What happens when you finish. The first slight hint of emotional trouble, stress or anxiety and you would be straight back on the alcohol.

    If your doctor gives you diazepam and you do something silly, his neck is on the line and it would make him more likely to say no to the next person he sees with a drink problem.

    If they can get you into hospital, I would advise you to take it.

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  • Posted

    I hope they can help you, PF.

    Let us know how you are when you can.

    You might want to be dead, but I am pleased that your posting says that you want to get well again too......

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  • Posted

    Paper, it's a rough spot, for sure. But it will only last for a while and then it will be done with. Hang in there, you'll get the upper hand!
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  • Posted

    I know that feeling well, drinking again to take away temporarily the feeling of utter disgust and despair. And yes the alcohol services are rubbish. Saw mine a month ago and not heard off them since. Spoke with a counsellor there who is an ex crack addict and said you just need to stop drinking and take control of yourself. Oh in that case problem solved, silly me, I won't drink so much next time. 😁
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  • Posted

    You are in my thoughts.  I am so sad and worried for you.  RHGB said all I wanted to say in a better way than I could have done.

    I will be waiting to hear how things go, please let us know.

    Pat.

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  • Posted

    Oh Paper fairy, I am so sad for you.  Life is such a painful process, at times.  We can't give up... we just have to live it.

    I hope you can get the medical help you need, SOON.

    My thoughts are with you.

    Blessings,

    Alonangel 🎇

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  • Posted

    Like others I don't know what to say except I'm thinking of you and hope you get through this awful time sad
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  • Posted

    Did you know each other when you were both sober, Paper? 
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    • Posted

      I'm ok at the mo but drinking. Grazing rather than indulging. I've had to resort to phenibut. Because my Drs and NHS won't give me diazepam. Sad but true. So I'm taking a drug that is not prescribed by NHS. I feel better for taking it, though I do realise it's addictive. My only addiction is ALCOHOL. Why won't the NHS treat this illness? I'm disappointed and disturbed that I have to resort to these measures 😕
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    • Posted

      Phenibut will be banned from the 26th May.

      The Psychoactive Substances Act 2016

       

      Update May 6th

      - The Psychoactive Substances Act will begin on May 26th, 2016.

       

      It has been confirmed today that The Psychactive Substances Act 2016 will come into force on May 26th.

      From May 26th 2016 we will no longer be supplying the following products:

      Adrafinil

      Coluracetam

      Centrophenoxine

      Noopept

      Phenibut

      Phenylpiracetam

      Pramiracetam

      Sunifiram

      Oxiracetam

      Selank & Semax

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    • Posted

      Hi. That thing we were discussing is being banned in uk but isn't to be banned in USA where you can continue to buy it online. Shame that I have to resort to these measures when diazepam could be prescribed for a few days and is much safer! 
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    • Posted

      Yes, but where as it is legal to import it and be in possesion of it now, it won't be in a couple of days. Therefore, no UK suppliers and external supppliers might not wan to supply the UK.
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    • Posted

      Have had an email from the company saying they will still be supplying it to UK. Though maybe that could change. I don't really know but time will tell!
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    • Posted

      Plus I don't take it all the time. Only when detoxing, as I can't get diazepam and occessionly maybe once or twice a month when have something very stressful ( though it didn't work last Sunday..lol !!
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