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I just need to talk. My story might be a bit long but I'm falling apart emotionally and gotta do something. I'm a canadian living in Alberta and for the past 12 years I worked in the oilfield. I was miserable out there, hated the cold, hated the overbearing control, just generally hated my life. I decided two years ago to make a change and I went to school to become a financial advisor and graduated this spring with distinction.
I was approached by the 3rd largest financial management firm in the country and asked if I wanted to open an office where I live, and they offered me an extremely lucrative contract. I quit my full time job about 3 weeks ago and began working trying to build a client base.
Most people would kill to trade places with me. I'm a dually licensed wealth specialist with a lucrative contract, I have all the equipment (new computer, camcorder for social media, briefcase, business cards and professional card holder), new professional clothes, a headset for making phone calls and I even set up my own call center in my basement complete with a one click dialer on my computer. --- one problem: I freeze solid when I attempt to make a phone call.
Its so bad I'm absolutely paralyzed by my fear. I sit for hours and hours writing and re writing my script, editing my mission statement, checking and rechecking emails. Once in a while I psych myself up enough to actually dial the phone and then hang up before anyone can answer. If someone does answer I studder and stammer and make just enough sense to introduce myself and let the other person know who the bumbling idiot is. It's embarrassing and my fear is slowly eroding my professionalism.
My mentor calls me a "hotshot financial planner" I'm good at what I do in terms of finance, but I never signed up to be a telemarketer. Unfortunately he also told me that I must cold call, that this job is 90% built on cold calling for the first 2 years until I get enough clients and referrals to keep me busy. The only thing between me and $350,000 a year business is my fear of the damn telephone.
This morning I had a breakdown. I sat at my desk in my basement from 9:30 am until 12:30 afternoon and started feeling uneasy. I realized I'd wasted 3 hours (enough time to call 150 people at least) and then started to cry. I got angry and threw my cell phone at the wall and it broke into 500 pieces, I screamed at walls and ended up crumpled up on the floor crying. I want it soooo badly. I can see myself with the freedom and the lifestyle, I have definite goals, I have done the sales training, I have everything. If I can't get past this fear though I'm going to spend my life in misery out in the oilfield, nightshift at 2 am, knee deep in mud in the pouring rain, carrying iron that weighs more than I do with some a**hole yelling at me. I'm scared, I'm anxious, I'm crying and I don't know what to do.
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