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Parents going on holiday, anxiety, agorphobia, bpd, panic attacks, depression.

Posted , 6 users are following.

lauren63237
lauren63237

Hi, Im basically just looking for some advice on how to cope when my parents go away on holiday for two weeks on sunday.  

Little back story, I am 23, and I live by myself, 10 minute drive from my parents.  Now I don't actually see them that much, and I don't particularly relie on them a lot but even when they go to my sisters an hour and a half away for a night I'm in panic attack mode.  I get the fear that my car will break down when theyre not here and I will get stuck on a bypass or something with no one to help.  I'm scared I wont be able to cope and I have a complete meltdown.. appliances in my house stop working and they can't help.. Loads of things are running through my head.  

They aren't even away yet and I am already in breaking mode.  I wake up in cold/hot sweats, already in a panic, and all day I am having to pace and focus on my breathing.  When it gets to night time I'm scared that I'm going to really freak out and I can't get in contact with anyone because its late, my housework just seems over whelming too.  I know its a bit over board but honestly, everything is giving me panic attacks right now.

Does anyone else get separation anxiety even though there older? any coping mechanisms? Honestly I am willing to try anything just to calm me down.  I don't know how im going to feel when they leave and I am petrified.

any advice would be very much appreciated x

0 likes, 11 replies

11 Replies

  • matthew04443
    matthew04443 lauren63237

    Posted

    Hi Lauren I’m the same I’m 21 I go through the same as you I have anxiety depression bpd and panic attacks I live with my parents still and their going away soon too and I know exactly what your going through like you think the worse case scenario for everything and u think you can’t cope without them 
    • lauren63237
      lauren63237 matthew04443

      Posted

      Hi matthew, I'm sorry youre having to go through this too!! They leave tonight so I am currently having a huge panic attack and trying to fight the urge to go down to their house and beg them not to leave.  sad 

  • trisha68782
    trisha68782 lauren63237

    Posted

    I’ve had bouts of “separation anxiety” as an adult as well. I cope with having friends over or going to friends to just hang out. Or even staying at work later than normal of no ones around at home. I’ve also found myself wandering the shopping malls just to be around others to keep my mind busy. I’ve also went for lots of walks, did crossword puzzles and played games on my phone. Best thing to do is keep yourself busy either with work or friends. Go play a sport or something that helps too. I spoke to my doctor about my anxiety of separation and being alone and actually go to weekly therapy sessions. I enjoy sitting and just talking to my really pleasant therapist for an hour a week. Also tried some meds but they are all horrible. Yours seems very short term which you are lucky. My anxiety has been lingering for six months now. Getting super annoying and I wake up sweaty and shaking with my mind racing so I get up out of bed and pace. Loosing sleep at night with worry as well. Anxiety is horrible. Since trying some anxiety meds I’ve been feeling slightly better but not 100%. For short term my doctor gave me Ativan which helps out a good bit to at least I can feel ok. I’d say avoid 75% of myself is ok but you have to be careful with Ativan as it can be addicting. I’m very careful and only take when I absolutely need them. I’ve only taken .5 mgs once a day doe only 3 days then I break for a few days then take a day or two then break for a few days. I just don’t want to get hooked. The longer inbetween pills the better they work, for me anyway. I also take one when I travel more than an hour away because my anxiety spikes up. They work like a charm. My doctor says I can take Ativan everyday for 2 weeks and be ok to stop. So far the longest stretch I took them in a row was 4 days. I just want to be cautious. 

    Good luck and you will be ok! Your parents will return from holiday before you know it. In the mean time occupy yourself with others around you. 

    • lauren63237
      lauren63237 trisha68782

      Posted

      Hi Trisha, Thank you for replying to me.  They leave tonight and I am currently on panic mode 100.  I just hate this so much.  How am I going to last a whole two weeks????

      I've had anxiety since I was about 16, been scared of leaving the house, or going anywhere new for about 3 years now and I only started getting separation anxiety about 3 years ago too.  I'm so sorry youre having to go through this.  It honestly feels like the worst thing in the world, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.  I hope that everything is well for you and thank you.  I really hope I do sad xx

  • Donna23316
    Donna23316 lauren63237

    Posted

    Hey honey, you have my sympathy. It seems everything is overwhelming at the moment. Your worrying thoughts are triggering the panic attacks you're experiencing right now. Then you get scared of the physical sensations you're getting. It's totally understandable. I presume your sister isn't going away so you've also got her. Remind yourself of that. Your mind is producing one negative thought after another. Don't listen to those thought. Or when you start thinking, for example "I won't cope, or if I visit my sister," what if my car breaks down, try and but in the the encapsulating thought:the reason I'm thinking this way is because I'm just worried at the moment. Don't let your thoughts take you away. It's really hard to do but just try. You mind is playing tricks with you and the more you recoil, the stronger those thoughts become. You Will cope. Message me anytime honey, this way or privately. It's also good you are reaching out. You can do this, don't let your mind convince you otherwise. Donna xxx

    • lauren63237
      lauren63237 Donna23316

      Posted

      Thank you so much Donna.  They leave tonight, and I am currently having a massive panic, crying and trying to force myself not to go with the urge of telling them to please stay.  What happens when theyre on the plane??? that's it! No one.  for two weeks.  my dad didn't check over my car to make sure it was ok before they went so that's making me want to be sick a little too. haha.

      I know, I really need to stop the over thinking, but everything my brain is thinking that this all is 100% what I should be thinking so rolling with it haha.  I'm so scared sad xx

    • Donna23316
      Donna23316 lauren63237

      Posted

      Hey honey, you will be fine. You can choose to be fine by reminded yourself that you're just a bit worried, but that's normal. You will miss your parents but they will be coming back in 2 weeks. Nothing bad will happen. Tell yourself that. When you start overthinking don't let yourself get carried away with your negative thoughts. Or write down the things you're worried about. And then write solutions. Message me any time honey. You can do this! Donna xxx

  • Philly89
    Philly89 lauren63237

    Posted

    Yes! I used to get this all the time when my parents would go up to their house in VT for the weekend. It was like 3 hours away so I would be on edge the whole time they were away.

    For me this had to do more with my anxiety in general... I see them as my "safe" people so I just feel more comfortable when they are around me, esp if I have been feeling anxious lately. But over time I got used to them going away on occasion, and then after a while it didn't bother me as much. I'm not gonna lie tho it does still bother me a tiny bit lol.

    But I've rationalized by thinking about how they are only 3 hours away, that really isn't much. If I really needed them to come home for some reason they easily could. And also I remind myself I have all of my friends here and if something happened I could always go to some of them also.

    • lauren63237
      lauren63237 Philly89

      Posted

      It's horrible isn't it!! I actually feel like im going to explode if they get on that plane.  It's the same with me, I think I have abandonment issues, and theyre the only two people who I feel 100% safe with.  What if my parents can't get a flight home in time if I need them haha, over thinking at its worst sad 

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