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Partial seizures? I'm scared to death!!

Posted , 4 users are following.

juffy28325
juffy28325

Hello everyone! 

I'm not native english speaker, so please, forgive me for my mistakes!!!

These days I'm at the edge and I feel like I losing my mind...

I'm 20 years old woman. Before I start to talk about my current issue, it would be better to know little about my background. 

When I was I child I was extremely anxious about health and death and I was diagnosed with phobic anxiety disorder. My grandpa died because of brain tumor and he had epilepsy due to it. It had bad impact on my as I child. 

When I was 14 years old I thought I had brain tumor. I got many tests including EEG, CT scan, magnetic resonance...everything was OK at that time! I had many weird symptoms, but they all was caused just because of anxiety and when I had found out that I'm OK it disappeared!

But around month ago, I've got something like panic attack because of very stressful situation (I'm person who is very sensitive, got stress out and anxious easily) ...I've actually known why I got panic attack,  but when I got another one later in that day it made me worry, so started to Googling and searching what causes anxiety and panic. I have found many different diseases, including brain tumor and epilepsy. I've become even more anxious and my panic attacks appears even several times a day! I tought I have many different diseases such as MS, head cancer, tumor but the most scariest was epilepsy! 

During this time, my boyfriend came to visit me for few days (we are in long distance relationship). At that time all anxiety and thought about disease disappear. I was healthy! But when he left, I get migraines, which made my really worry! I started to googling again! I was sure that I have some brain disease! I could feel weird and uncomfortable feelings in my head...I've become obsessed with googling!!!!! I've googled symptoms and diseases all the time and I can't thing about nothing else! My anxiety and panic have got extreme!!! I couldn't sleep and eat! I lost a lot of weight! I couldn't focus on anything even when someone talk to my for a long time, I stopped to listen and I got back to my disease thoughts ! I've got extremely anxious stomach and I feel waves of butterflies in it! Sometimes I felt like huge waves of scare or shocks hits my body!  Even at night! I woke up scared, confused and dizzy! I got derealization and depersonalization! And horrifyingly stress out!

I've got extreme phobia and scare of having epilepsy or seizures! Especially when I've found out about partial seizures! And since several days ago I've experience something which looks exactely like it:

I've got anxious a little but suddenly I felt like huge waves of pressure hits my brain and body and immediately I felt very strong tickle and butterflies in my stomach! It feels like orgasm of scare! It took few moments and then it disappear. After that I got needle pain in my head! ... this happens to me few times, even I woke up at night experience this!!! I felt strong vibrations in my brain and my stomach was tickling! sometimes I just feel unpleasant feeling in my head similar to spasm. And Sometimes all this feelings come continuously in waves...

Moreover, sometimes just out of blue, I have feeling like some situations happened to me before, but I can't remember if it's true or not! (it isn't deja vu) Or I feel like I felt those feelings before...

And sometimes I think I can smell weird smells for a while...

I was visit neurologist, but I haven't describe my problems in details, because I thought it is just because of anxiety, but after I've read symptoms of partial seizures, I don't think so anymore...

My neurologist done some blood tests, and I have next appointment next week

It is very strong and real feeling, and I'm scared that it isn't just because anxiety...

Please, I will be very grateful for all replies, opinions and advices!

I'm very scared, exhausted, desperate and confused! I feel like in nightmare and hell!!!

0 likes, 12 replies

12 Replies

  • candycakez
    candycakez juffy28325

    Posted

    I totally feel you on this!!!! For almost two months now I’ve head awful headaches, arm hand, body tingling, fatigue, worrying, googling every symptom known!!! My thoughts just race and race and race and I swear I have MS, or a brain tumor or even cancer. Depending on the pain I pick which illness I am so convinced I have. My doc and parents so I am fine. I think other wise. I am in anti depressants two weeks now and I don’t see any change. I am so worried for myself. I just want to be better 😢😢 I’m supposed to get referred to a neaurologist soon but god knows how long thatll take... and I am so afraid to even go out. When I do I feel like I am in a dream and it’s not real. I am tired of feeling like this sad just know you are not alone! I truly hope you feel better soon. ??

    • juffy28325
      juffy28325 candycakez

      Posted

      I absolutely know how you feel!!! I think I have lost my mind...I'm think I'm crazy, because only think I feel is stress, anxiety and panic! There is only few minutes a day when I feel relieved!...I feel like this can't be real! 

      And I also can't stop my thoughts!!! 

      We must be strong and believe that this is really just in our mind! 

      I wish from the bottom of my heart to be happy again and everyone who suffers like this too! 

      Thank you, I hope you feel better soon too!!! 

      But my feeling are so real! I'm truly very scared!!!

  • will20275
    will20275 juffy28325

    Posted

    Hi Juffy, 

    Cut out caffeine and alcohol from your diet. Very important to exercise. I had the same head symptoms as you . I saw many doctors and all kinds of tests. Nothing showed just a little liquid in my brain by right ear. My neurologist put me on celexa which I was refusing to take . I would look at the filled bottle of pills for 5 weeks until I started getting panic attacks every day multiple times. I went to ER three times. The pain in my head was horrific. I was convinced I was dying. I didn’t believe they were panic attacks until now as I look back. I was driving home from work one day and couldn’t remember how to get home. That scared the crap out of me cause I knew what was happening. I’m athletic and fit eat very good. Why me! I gave in and started the celexa 10 mg it was rough to adjust to it but now 6 1/2 months later I’m so much better. I m back to my daily routine. Please tell your doctor everything. They can’t help unless you really tell them. There are many meds out there. Good luck at doctors appt. I went to one neurologist before my current one and she couldn’t help me. She told me to take a long weekend off and go away. So I found this new Dr. and he listens to me. It very hard to accept it. 

    Will😎

    • juffy28325
      juffy28325 will20275

      Posted

      Thank you for your experience Will!!! 

      I will do my best! Please do your best for your health too!!! 

    • candycakez
      candycakez will20275

      Posted

      Hi there! May I ask what stopped the headaches or what you took to get rid of them? 
  • will20275
    will20275 juffy28325

    Posted

    It was the celexa 10 mg. I did try acupuncture before that and it worked but they kept coming back. Then the panic attacks started and the anxiety kicked in and I was very very emotional. It was not a pretty picture. It’s very scary. I found this forum and the people on here I owe my thanks to. I would have never been able to do it without them. 

    Will😎

    • candycakez
      candycakez will20275

      Posted

      I am in that boat currently! sad its super scary and each day is so hard. did it take a lot of weeks for the celexa to work for you? 
    • will20275
      will20275 candycakez

      Posted

      Hi candy cake,

      In the beginning it was a challenge. I got a lot of sude effects from the celexa. It was a roller coaster ride. As i lookback at my journal. I saw a big improvement after 8 weeks. But it was a slow process for me. It took me just about 23 weeks to fully recover😇😇. I couldn’t have done it without the help of this forum. The people are so knowledgeable and helpful. More than I got from my doctors. I hope this helps you more. 

      Will😎

    • candycakez
      candycakez will20275

      Posted

      That’s amazing. I’m so glad to hear you recovered. I’m barley about to hit 3 weeks and I’m already feeling like this process is taking SOOOO long. sad I wanna give up some days but I just hope it’s worth the roller coaster ride. I just have to learn how to be patient and trust the medication. This forum makes me feel a lot better that’s for sure! I’m def not alone after all. Thanks will! smile
    • will20275
      will20275 candycakez

      Posted

      No your not alone and yes it’s a slow process and you will feel better for short periods.  Eventually those good periods will get longer and longer

  • matthew73144
    matthew73144 juffy28325

    Posted

    Hello there mate listen this is anxiety because your moving from diease to diease now let me tell you about seizures. Seizures can happen to anybody through drugs withdrawal excessive drinking stress the term you used partial seizures doesnt relate to what your saying because with seizures espically partial seizures are a form of epilepsy i know this because i have 4 kinds and it is possible while undergoing major stress to have non epileptic seizures but they wont be partial seizures as these seizures effect one part of the brain and while its happening you wont rember what was happening after its happened they happen very quick and you wont be worried after its happened. Honestly i think its all down to you...... Meaning in the kindest and respectfulest way possible that you need to start fighting back until your in control a brain tumor wont be making you this scared let me give you a scary insight for you why are you scared of dying because no matter how hard you try to stay healthy you will and i promise you this you will one day die and there isnt nothing you can do my friend. The best positive outlook is getting tested for epilepsy and also brain tumor and then once it comes back negative which i promise you it will thats when you say ok im going to make a change im going to excerise more because this helps eat right go out woth family or friends get out in nature and say to your self that its all in my head even if the symptoms are there there actually not. Its called cogitive therapy. Apart from this i want yoy to rember that you have 1 life and this is your chance to have fun and a good time because once you grow very old you will not be able to enjoy if all that much example i have the worst epilepsy anyone could have i have had over 120 attacks and i was told i had a small time before a thing called sudep would happen now i am a worrier like you as well i have alot and sometimes i feel like endeding everything but its all in my head aka in yours but it doesnt stop you being you you can over come this and 1 day i pray that u do because this isnt a way to live life should be enjoyed not being out of control. Im sorry if my words were to strong but you need to understand that this is all in your head. Good luck and 1 day u keep fighting you will overcome it all
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