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Partner becomes ill after kissing / intimacy? - please help

Posted , 30 users are following.

jlj
jlj

My girlfriend of 4 years becomes ill after we have french kissed. We don't live together & only see each other at weekends. The symptoms she suffers with are headache (like a band across the top of the head, left-right), eye ache, fatigue/lethargy. Basically, general malaise. The symptoms present themselves 12-24 hours after (or sometimes sooner) we've had intimate contact, but do clear within 24-36 hours later. She believes I may be a carrier of something which passes to her when we kiss (or have close facial contact), triggering her symptoms.

We are both in our early 40s & have not experienced this with any previous relationships.

Both of us have visited our GPs & undergone blood tests, but they were all clear.

The best advice the GPs gave was for her to take painkillers after we'd been in contact.

We stopped french kissing approx. 1 year ago to try & alleviate her symptoms. Whilst this has reduced her symptoms it's not great for our relationship!

Can anyone offer any advice on what might be causing this & which type of medical professional may be able to help please?

1 like, 53 replies

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  • andrea39453
    andrea39453 jlj

    Posted

    Hello. My boyfriend and I have the same problem. We have been together for a while now and have only just started having headaches after french kissing. So it seems to me to have to do with saliva which is odd. I'm not a medical professional but maybe we could find out any similarities between us. I was wondering if you have found anything out since you posted? Do you get the headaches too?
  • jlj
    jlj

    Posted

    Hi Andrea, I never got any symptoms at all, only my girlfriend. We are still together and we still aren't kissing. My girlfriend has arranged to see an allergist and I tried to get a session linked up with hers. As we have different GPs (we live close but in different areas) this could not be arranged. I have been told I can attend the session but they wont be able to take any samples or do any tests that involve me.

    I feel like our relationship is on limbo and there is no-one who can help! I really hope the visit to the allergist (a few weeks time) can provide at least some information that helps us work out what is causing this problem. I will post an update after the visit in case any useful info comes from it. 

    Out of interest, do you both get headaches or just one of you? And how long do they tend to last? My girlfriend says hers last all day Monday after we have spent time together at the weekend, but then clear up by the Tuesday. Note - at present we are not kissing so this is not happening, but whenever we kiss it seemsto trigger a strong headache thatlast the entire next day.

    Jlj

    • jlj
      jlj Guest

      Posted

      Hi nedza,

      Yes my girlfriend gets very tired whenever she gets these headaches and has a general feeling of being unwell. We stopped french kissing to alleviate the problems but that obviously isn't a great solution. 

      We are due to see an allergist in a few weeks time and i am really hoping they can give some advice as to the cause or at the very least tell us which sort of medical professionals might be able to help working out what is going on.

      jlj

  • andrea39453
    andrea39453 jlj

    Posted

    I'm the only one with the reaction. I wonder if it's environmental? If you don't mind me asking, what state do you guys live in?
    • jlj
      jlj andrea39453

      Posted

      Hi Andrea.

      We live in the North of England, so I think it's unlikely that the environmental conditions here match those where you are (i'm guessing you live in the US) though I'm not ruling anything out. 

      My girlfrigends visit to the allergist is this thursday so I will submit an update when i get the chance after the appointment.

      Jlj

  • andrea39453
    andrea39453 jlj

    Posted

    I apologize, I forgot that this website was based in the UK. I'll let you know what I find out myself. Good Luck.
  • andrea39453
    andrea39453 jlj

    Posted

    I went to the doctor and they said that it could be allergies and gave me a nasal spray. I feel like the headaches and lethargy are too much to be just allergies and the nasal spray just mask a symptom and doesn't cure anything. I'm going to go back and get a complete bloodcell count (CDC) to find out if I have a bacterial infection. What did your girlfriend find out? Don't worry, we will get to the bottom of this.
  • jlj
    jlj

    Posted

    Hi Andrea,

    we visited an immunology and allergy specialist at our hospital who advised that she isn't awareof any specific tests that she can use to determine what causes these symptoms. She said it is not domething she has ever come across and that she will consult the relevant medical journals and with her colleagues in the same department. 

    She advised she wasn't very hopeful of finding anything that ecplains the symptoms as it's something she has never come across.

    I had a feeling that would be the case as I am pretty savvy on the web and have not found anything that helps explain this, and this is why I submitted this forum entry just in case anyone else was experiencing this and had possible suggestions.

    If the specialist does come back with anything useful I will post the information.

    jlj

  • novembersong
    novembersong jlj

    Posted

    Whilst everybody is waiting for the results of various blood tests etc., I'm going to throw another iron in the fire. Are any of you mindful in the way you hold each other, or do you just get carried away with the moment? Is there a possibility of undue pressure around the neck or on any of the top three vertebra?? Temporary arterial stenosis can cause headaches which are relatively short lived. Just a thought.
    • jlj
      jlj novembersong

      Posted

      Hi novembersong.

      Thanks for your comment - it's definitely good to hear suggestions of possibilities that I had not thought of. I can say that in our case that I don't believe there is any undue pressure around the neck or vertebra, but I will discuss this with my girlfriend in case she thinks it could be relevant.

      Jlj

  • novembersong
    novembersong jlj

    Posted

    Keeping my fingers crossed that you will get to the bottom of this mystery.
  • andrea39453
    andrea39453 jlj

    Posted

    jlj- Results show that I may have a viral infection so I am taking something called monolaurin and it seems to be helping. Monolaurin seems to be a pretty mild/safe thing as it comes from coconuts. I was thinking it might be a good idea to e-mail each other to compare similarities in more privacy. I have created a new e-mail for this purpose: _____ (and"zero"and). If you're not comfortable with doing that, I will understand.

    Patient Moderator Note: I have removed an e-mail address from this reply as it is the policy of patient.info to not publish these within the forums. If any user is interested in this removed information they should contact the author via the Private Messaging system requesting such. Thank you for your cooperation.

    patient.info/forums/discuss/private-messages-226361

    • jlj
      jlj andrea39453

      Posted

      Hi Andrea, thanks for the suggestion to try monolaurin. I will do some research and it may be somothing we can try out. If we do, I will put on some feedback to advise whether it helped.

      jlj

    • james5656
      james5656 andrea39453

      Posted

      Hey please send me info i have the same problems as you no cure for over a year.  what is monolaurin  treating?

       

  • jlj
    jlj

    Posted

    Currently both trying monolaurin (for a few weeks) as recommended by one poster. So far neither of us feel any effects of the monolaurin except feeling quite hungry sometimes after having it. We have decided to continue to avoid french kissing still as we are not sure we have had any beneficial effects from taling these as yet!

    At the moment I feel like we may not find a solution. If anyone has any other ideas I would really appreciate these.

    jlj

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