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Partner diagnosed with Fibromyalgia - how can I help her?

Posted , 6 users are following.

jbsouthern
jbsouthern

Hey, 

My partner has recently been diagnosed with FM. Does anyone on here have any suggestions as to the best way I can help and support her?

Any advice at all would be very much appreciated.

Thanks.

0 likes, 7 replies

7 Replies

  • arlene77671
    arlene77671 jbsouthern

    Posted

    Hi, it's lovely that you have come on to ask this, as many partners are not that supportive. The best thing you can do is understand that fibromyalgia causes crashing fatigue and random pain so just helping out with jobs and things she would normally do but can't. The main thing is letting her know that you understand and don't expect too much from her on her bad days. She is very lucky to have you

  • mari34228
    mari34228 jbsouthern

    Posted

    You are a star! I wasn't diagnosed when my husband left but I have been suffering for years and he basically seemed to think I was making things up and was lazy. He made me feel SO much worse. Arlene is right when she says some partners are not supportive.

    I'll ditto what she says about simply helping out. It's hard to know when we are suffering but believe me, it's usually ALL the time! I'm sure she will be feeling frustrated that she can't do things herself when she wants to. Nothing in my life is a 'breeze' anymore. That's something that really gets me down very badly. So just paying attention to her would be my best advice. Really 'look' at her and listen. My ex seemed oblivious to my daily struggles. So, as Arlene said, just be prepared to help out more, and even do everything on her very bad days! If she is like me ( and lots of others I should think) she might try to do more than she should on her 'better days'. But that is usually a mistake as it sets me back badly. So be aware that even though she might seem alot better one day, she is probably going to pay for it later! If I had someone to come and even make me a cup of tea so I didn't have to drag myself to the kitchen, I'm sure it would help me. It's exhausting having to try and do things like that when it's a thought just to stand up.

    So yes. She will get frustrated with herself and perhaps a bit moody because of it. But she will love you and appreciate you forever if you take some of the stress away by making her life a bit easier. I know I would cheesygrin

  • jbsouthern
    jbsouthern

    Posted

    Thank you for all your helpful and lovely replies.

  • Oompa
    Oompa jbsouthern

    Posted

    Hi JB, as someone with FM my problem is people understanding how I'm feeling and to be patient. My mood is often low, and when I feel like that I don't need people being rude, inconsiderate and just plain impatient. So if your partner has this my advice would be find out how your partner is feeling, ask your partner what they want and how you can help. It's difficult because everyone is different, but I think it would be nice just to listen and don't judge just because they look able doesn't mean they're not in a lot of pain. Hope that helps?I think it's fab you're on here, hope your partner gets to feel better 😊

    • christine26761
      christine26761 Oompa

      Posted

      Ooops not 39 years 30 years I also have  Sorgrens Syndrome I was diagnosed with that first then 10 yrs later with Fibro...remember most importantly too NO STRESS Fibro loves it..it amplifies the symptoms 100 fold..😘😘🙏 

  • christine26761
    christine26761 jbsouthern

    Posted

    This is just wonderful that you want to support her..I've had autoimmune issues for over 39 years now and I know I couldn't have gotten through without the care of my husband..I'm have been in remission for 3 years except fir flare ups now and again..All you have to do is believe everything she says she has going on and really be genuine about it..it's not too easy sometimes, but remember you are either in or your out...she will know...it's often a long haul....and what ever you do...don't try and fix it..westnet the first few years where my husband tried everything to fix it..it's quite normal..men like to fix things lol...however nice that is.,we just don't want to hear it...Somedays maybe weeks even months you will need to do everything..fir her personally and in the house..there is light at the end of the tunnel though..I know others who are in a remission and have been for many years..just love her unconditionally and believe in her and this  rotten Fibro....It has soo many differing symptoms too..one might never get what another has..usually goes hand in hand with CronicFatigue Syndrome too.,which is NOT just being tired all the time which many think. It would be very beneficial if you got as much knowledge about this as you can if you want to empathetic to you partners illness..We are Christians and just don't know how we would have survived this without Jesus Christ as our anchor...be blessed jbsouthern and have a lovely day..bless you for you lovely heart to want to care for your partner...😘😘🙏

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