Partner doesn't get it

Maybe it's time to add a biologic like Humira or Enbrel to the drug list. If you're that  wiped out then quite likely the inflammation isn't being controlled. So make an appointment with your rheumatologist.

And while you're at it, drag your partner to that appointment. You might give some advance warning to the doctor that you're bringing your partner and that you hope the doctor will explain the "facts of life" about the disease.

Good luck.

I've had arthritis for 17 years now and have come to the conclusion that others will never "get it" unless it happens to them.   I think my husband gets it when he sees me so swollen and in such pain that I can't move my hands but at other times I think he feels that I use my arthritis as an excuse not to do things.   I really don't care anymore what other people think.  I have learned a lot about my disease and know when I need extra rest, when I need to back put of plans made and when I just need a good cry. 

Hi Hln ..

I think u r asking about the lack of support u get from UR partner. Is that right? 

Sooo... Here r a few suggestions...

sometimes others don't get the pain until it effects them..my mom would complain ....and now I get it...i got RA....I just thought oh it's that she's old.. Well so what its still painful..now I think what a stupid thing for me to think.. When young we have very little experience to a costate the complexities of pain. I am guilty of that myself. I really was sympathetic to a point but not till I have the pain do I really understand...

Others r sympathetic by nature. If u have been to a doc with UR partner and he's aware of UR suffering then he is not really associating pain with reality of UR pain loss of daily function along with the strain the emotional stress has on u. It is so much easier to have support. Have u tried a counceling or consult together with UR rhumy? 

U know u partner better I can only make suggestions.. Only...to help u thu a very difficult time. I might also suggest going by urself to a councelor or someone to help advise u.

many of us with severe pain & health issues, also r dealing with loss of our past lives when pain wasn't a issue. Now dealing with new adjustments and major limitations and family ,sometimes it's all too much.. I wish I could do a lot of things I could in my past life before I got sick.. I cannot and it takes time to deal wih all the new characteristics we have ahead of us to now accept them as part of our new lives . Adjusting to new limitations is necessary & a daily major hurdle..stay strong and well is the goal.. There needs to be support and understanding... I cannot imagine my life without it. In a nice tone of voice .... Tell him UR not in boot camp U have a debilitating disease and with this disease u have a right to whine. It helps relieve the stress and u do not expect him to fix it just support u .Then look up at him with loving smiling eys , he'll get the message.....

CHEERS

 

I have had all the above symptoms for years now, and I haven't found any one how really understands how we feel. Pain,  fatigue,  not being able to pick something up, getting dressed and all the problems with every day life is a chore and I feel people do think we ' moan' for nothing which isn't true as we know. Just walking with your walking stick can be a challenge,,,,,,,,,,,,, I met a friend that I hadn't seem for about 6 months and she said, oh my what have you done, you are walking with a stick and have a bad limp - ye I have been doing this for about 10 years!! I don't think we can do much about how people see us and know how we feel, but may be you can take your partner with you to a consultation, it might help to understand........Good Luck

I

 

Hi

Sorry to hear that your partner is not understanding.

Can you move on without him ?.

If so let him suffer without you.