Past 3 years are catching up to me and I can't stop crying
Posted , 4 users are following.
It was my 18th birthday last weekend and I was really looking forward to having a fun time and starting fresh. The night turned out to be a disaster I fell on the floor, hit my head(I have a bump on my forehead and bruised nose) and I also injured my knee pretty bad but I decided to still tried to not let it get my spirits down. I then got my phone stolen and that was enough to set me off.
I lost my dad 3 years ago and I never really had a chance to talk to anyone about this really because my family had to move to a different country(Latin America to Europe). This was also really hard but I adapted and found myself a nice friend group. Then my relationship with my sister deteriorated over the next 3 years due to drugs, and I haven't spoken to her in about 1 year and a half. School(IB Program)is extremely hard to keep up with, I fell like with every step forward I take 2 back and always have major anxiety as to if I will be able to finish it or not, I have about 6 months left, and it keeps getting harder and harder.
All of this is really just catching up to me and I can't stop crying, I don't want to leave my home; my mom is letting me stay home and telling me to take it easy, I don't want to talk to my friends but now that I have a phone again they are all trying to reach out. I feel extremely s**t and I just sit here feeling numb and crying over nothing. I ask myself why I am crying and I down know. I get really frustrated at myself. As I also sit at home I have so much anxiety over school, and how I shouldn't be at home and I should be catching up. But I also can't seem to be able to concentrate or find any motivation.
I really just don't know what to do anymore. 
3 likes, 5 replies
warren_31361 niki01436
Posted
Firstly sorry to hear of your loss and u going thru a rough time try get the support eg bit counseling may help talking to stranger I have had similar problems lost my brother and have never come to terms with his loss if that wasn't bad enough my partner was cheating on me after 16 years took my kids to move in with this new bloke I thought my life was all planned out soon after lost my man and grandad and uncle seems like I get better then something comes along and puts me right back down again I have hit my lowest in last few weeks and trying to seek help from doctors and counceling but no appointments til next week please try talk to your mum or someone and get some support don't push mates away if they good friends they should give u all the support and help u get thru this tough time try keep busy and think positive I do hope u get sorted if u need to chat always here to help if can
Adldiane niki01436
Posted
Hello Niki. So glad that you wrote into us. I feel your sadness an pain. Do you think that you are just now starting to feel the grief of the loss of your father. I think it is very appropriate for you to be crying as you have lost your father and have had a major move to a new country. You are having to adjust to new ways in studies and the culture. Good on you that you have made new friends!!
So very sorry that you fell and hurt yourself on your 18th birthday. Hope you are healing. Glad that you got your phone back. Could you tell your friends that you are hurting over losing your father and that it has just now hit you! That you miss them and want to talk but right now can't stop crying. If y
Adldiane niki01436
Posted
borderriever niki01436
Posted
Make an appointment and see your GP, you seem to need to talk out your concerns and hopefully you will be able to move on
Make a list of your concerns, worries and fears and ask for a double appointment so you have plenty of time to explain your feelings
Good Luck
BOB
wayne1962 niki01436
Posted
Hi NiKi - sorry to read of the loss of your dad. You have stated that you haven't talked about this and I would suggest this is one of the causes of your depression. See your doc, explain what's happening and ask for a referral to a therapist or grief counsellor, or perhaps there is a counselling service at your school? Once you are in that safe, professional dynamic, any underlying issues will reveal themselves and you will learn new ways to think about what has happened and coping skills when a slump threatens. Things should brighten up when you are taking action and dealing with issues.
Moving to a new continent is a challenge for anyone, and you should be proud of how you have adapted. The loss of a phone with all the information we keep on them these days would be a major upset for anyone.