Path To Anxiety

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I am new to anxiety... at least I think. I started a new career in a different field in Aug. And moved into a new house in Oct. (both positive changes). I had my first panic attack in the 1st week of Nov. I was an avid news reader, and earlier that day I read an article about a mom hurting her children. That night, I was finishing moving my kids into their new bedroom and I thought about that article, basically how could someone hurt their kids, could i ever do that, (of course not) etc. Anxiety hit me like a bus! I couldn't understand why I thought about it again. I thought I was a terrible person, felt guilty that I'd even thought about it. I just couldn't let it go, and it just snowballed out of control. I'm the kind of mom who secretly cries after having spanked my kids because I hate hurting them, I mean I cry when they have to get shots at the doctor! I could not understand what was happening! I was so anxious my hands were shaking, heart racing, crying, sweating, upset tummy, no appetite, I could not function. I was terrified of myself, and started being terrified of normal household objects like scissors. Over the next several weeks the intrusive thoughts started to go away once I read and researched that anxiety plays on your worst fears and makes your brain Play tricks on you and I stopped avoiding what was scaring me. For a few weeks I had no anxiety symptoms at all. Lately, I'm finding myself checking in with how I feel, and making myself think something bad to test my reaction. Is this just part of the heeling process?

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15 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi, I find your storey very interesting, I too had the weird intrusive thoughts, and I can't watch the news or scary things on tv, I'm paranoid about my kids, I love them so much I still take and pick up my daughter from school she in secondary school.

    It an just hit you out of no where it's so scary this anxiety crap, I hate it. Immuch better than before as im on Ad. Are you on meds?

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    • Posted

      I saw every doctor you can imagine and a psychiatrist prescribed me xanax to take as needed. She also said that i have been operating at a high level of stress to the point that it seemed normal. I only slept 5 or 6 hours at most a night, but not due to insomnia, mostly due to being busy and never sitting down bc there was always laundry or something to do at home. From what I can understand from research, I just kept running on all cylinders when I really needed to rest my mind. Anxiety seems to have such drastically different effects in people. And it seems a lot of peoples fears center around their health, whereas mine is fear for my loved ones. I rarely take meds for a headache much less anything else. I have taken 1/2 of a xanax 3 times since prescribed. At first, shortly after my 1st panic attack, I couldn't read anything in the news and had to stop watching anything violent on tv. I decided I didn't need so much violent media in my life anyway but I can now read the news without much anxiety. Even though I got highly anxious at home with my family I refused to be taken away, so to speak, from my children and I made it my mission to be with them as much,as possible. I even let them sleep in the bed with my hubby and I and I think k Taki g these measures has helped.
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    • Posted

      I think research is key, and also going back to basic living,, as humans our brains are not made for a fast pace lif with so so much technology , we need to cut off from it all, and go back to the earth and spirituality.

      And allow our minds to heal.

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    • Posted

      I think so too. Sadly, at least in my case, several years of highly stressful events, and me just putting them away for another day, and I guess that day finally caught up with me. I am starting to learn, and trying to let the little stuff go. Worry is the most useless emotion especially when it's about things you can control.
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    • Posted

      I really agree with this, I think having access to technology and social media site almost overloads our brain, and we are forced to think about so many things at once. Just as when you log into facebook you're hit with about 40 different stories a minute and it's all too much to take in. I think limiting social media is quite important for people with anxiety x
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  • Posted

    Aniexty is just what it is,sadly it can't really be thought of as a healing process in those terms. For some anxiety comes,then it goes - everyone experiences transient anxiety. If it last a longer amount of time and begins to intrude more than your comfortable with,then its a problem that needs addressing
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  • Posted

    Kinda off subject but does anyone else have a fear of eating foods due to anxiety and stick to eating liquids and have a very unbalanced food plan? When i get an attack or eat I gets. Fear of choking on food or a real bad lump in throat
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  • Posted

    I think alot of times people concentrate on things they shouldnt,then the fears build. I bet your a wonderful mom. What you read about probably was so far from how you are that it just stuck with you. The world is sometimes a scarey place and I believe that makes anyones anxiety spiral at times.
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  • Posted

    Intrusive thoughts are a normal part of anxiety, the key is how you react to them, you know for a fact that you are a loving and caring mother who would not harm her children but anxiety grabs at negative thoughts and creates a problem out of them, a normal thought that for most people would come and go sticks to a tired and stressed mind like glue and causes even more anxiety.

    CBT therapy isreally useful for this because it teaches you how to react to those thoughts before they can cause such huge amounts of anxiety, you have to acknowledge it as a mere thought that is meaningless and toss it away like a piece of trash.

    If the news is likely to upset you at the moment then stay away from it, I too was an avid news reader but it is no coincidence that just before my recent breakdown I had been following a trial involving a victim who resembled my own daughter in age and for no reason at all I suddenly felt enormous guilt about my own child, I had no need to but it was very intense.

    For now I avoid the news, it's a trigger I just don't need x

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    • Posted

      What you are saying is so true. I have been teaching myself to not give stupid thoughts any credit and for the most part they have disappeared. The last week I have found myself checking in for some reason.
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    • Posted

      It's hard sometimes and we do tend to 'check in' and somehow bring them back to life,I do it so much sometimes and often jump from one thought to another but they are meaningless thoughts whirling around in our tired minds and they mean nothing, sometimes we need to remind ourselves of that and then when we do they go away again.
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  • Posted

    Hi Tiffany, 

    I've been reading your post and wanted to reach out to you.  I am 31 years old and have been going through a serious bout with anxiety recently. I've never really experienced it or realized I was experiencing it for an extended amount of time, so it is a bit new to me.  I just feel like my brain never gets a chance to simply relax, which is a cause for the anxiety because I feel like I will never get to a place where my brain is just relaxed and at ease.  In the past, I feel I could just move on from the grip of contstant thinking about nothing really!  What affects me the most is the tiredness/fatigue that I feel, which causes me to not look forward to the next day.  I become consumed with the fact that I will have to battle through another day of ridiculous thoughts, fear, worry.  A lot of times I feel tired and fatigued, so I think I have a medical issue that has symptoms of tired and fatigue.  My anxiety then kicks in full gear.  I've also felt like I am in a bit of a fog because I am consumed by thoughts. It's almost like I am not fully present.  I am being pro active to try and learn about anxiety, I currently see a therapist, I talk to my girlfriend about the feelings I am having and I want to beat this crap for good!

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