Penis concerns both mentally and physically,
Posted , 6 users are following.
So hopefully I can get some advice, I don't know if this is quite the place for it but well, here it goes, this is going to be long,
I was born prematurely, I'm not sure if it was at birth or soon after but I had surgery on my penis for hypospadias, which I'm assuming is what has left my penis scarred and maybe not the correct word, but deformed. I know the surgery was done by an expert surgeon with my penis obviously being very small at the young age I had it done, my penis itself appears circumcised, there is scaring around the end of the foreskin, there are scars on the underside on the head of my penis which I can best describe as slits that are emphasised by an erection, like shallow holes,
My penis is a good bit smaller than when it is erect, which I've always been conscious of, but its more the scarring side of things that plays a huge part on myself mentally, I am in my early 20s and have not had sex, I am an alright looking guy, was popular at school etc, but was always terrified of anyone seeing it, hence no one has since I was a young child, since another kid commented on it being weird, not a single soul has seen it, because up until that point I hadn't thought anything was different.
It has completely shattered my confidence, hence I don't go out of my way to flirt or get with a girl, when I used to drink and go out with friends, because I didn't want things to get to the sex stage (I very much have a sexual desire), worried back at the school days a girl would be like what the hell is this etc, and tell everyone, thinking of all these scenarios in my head and how things would play out.. terrifying to me.
I am at a point in my life where, I presume few people my age haven't had sex, I really liked a girl that I worked with for several months, she ended up making the moves (the only reason anything happened) and we got a little close and went on six or so dates before things ended, never got to having sex, but I'd like to think I would of gone for it, I didn't take things not working out well, as I was really happy etc, treating it like my first heartbreak having become very emotionally invested I guess, even though most people would probably just be like it was a few dates etc it was more to me than that.. so since then I've taken a further step back, having not really socialised much since. So regressed even further.
A sort of saving grace in my mind has been that my penis is average to above average in size when erect, it does work fully, so sexual intercourse is obviously possible and whatnot, however when my penis is erect the head is actually pointing downloads a bit, so the shaft is straight then the head is down a bit... which I'm presuming is not normal, so yeah.., googling I read about the frenulum perhaps being too short? which can cause this issue, I'm not actually sure if I have a frenulum, around that area is where there are multiple scars, so I'm not too sure what advice there is to get but I am open to hearing anything,
I've never talked about my penis to anyone not in real life, or online until now, I know I should see a GP but the thought is absolutely terrifying, but at the off chance I do get the courage too, I assume I should try to make sure to see a male GP? I don't think it matters to me male or female it's still a terrifying prospect but I'm guessing its more an appropriate thing to talk to another man about?
Thanks
0 likes, 6 replies
darren45854 JohnDoe99
Posted
firstly i would like to say any GP male or female have seen all manner of things so please see them if you need to. So many nurses have seen mine and believe me they see hundreds. Secondly when you meet the right girl it will not matter, she will love you for who you are. I have had issues from a young age but as you get older they seem less important to you. Do not let it stop you living your life
hobnob1871 darren45854
Posted
John, you might not think so, but this is brilliant advice from Darren and I completely agree with every word. Grab the rest of your life with both hands and enjoy every day.
alan86734 JohnDoe99
Posted
Hi, John,
I endorse Darren's comments entirely although my problem is one of penis size - larger than usual ( note my reluctance to say "abnormal"). I attended a British style boarding school for boys. We had our own doctor who was also a faculty member in which capacity he taught us human anatomy, biology, and physiology. I should clarify that this school was based in Spanish-speaking Argentina.
Well and good, but at the end of each semester we were all subject to a thorough medical examination and the associated report which, of course, was written in Spanish, to be sent to our parents. My dear widowed mother, being of English ancestry was not fluent in Spanish so the sensitive report was handed to me to be translated. This task I duly performed but it was a challenge since I had to convince her that there was nothing physically wrong with me and that I would have to exercise due care when I became sexually active, which I was, precocious brat!
Fortunately for me she was a warm and understanding woman, but nonetheless I developed two inhibitions which have affected me to this day. Could a similar reaction have affected many of us forum members when we have nurses, in the same age group as our own daughters, handling our genitalia? Think about it for a while. Yes, John, see if you can share your babyhood experience with a qualified counselor?
I wish you good luck, alan86734.
tracey56393 JohnDoe99
Posted
hello John
my son was born with hypospadias and had 1 operation at a year old,i have spent a huge amount of my time worrying about what possible scenarios he will come across in life and
so far none of them have happened, he is a young teen now and happy at school.To him and us his penis is normal,yes it looks circumsized and yes it tilts down at the head there is some red scarring but there are no openings underneath and i have told him to let us know if this happens so that we can check with DR/Urologist if there is any need to be concerned with a leakage issue.
please dont be afraid to see your DR, like Darren said they have seen it all and many times before,it is all very normal to them and will completely understand your concerns.
I am sure you will know when the time is right for you to go any further in your relationships
and indeed discuss what has happened to you, (girls have worries too) and after all it should be fun not a medical examination.
Don't let this rule your life and stop you meeting someone,theres lots more involved in a relationship than just sex and you'll find that person,stay safe (blah blah parent talk) but enjoy finding the right one as well.
ALWAYS people here to talk to.
alan86734 tracey56393
Posted
Dear Tracey,
If I am guessing correctly, you all share these posts but, if not please pass my message on to your son. We cannot choose our parents; it is a crap shoot in every respect! With this in mind I think he is a very lucky young man and I wish him all the best and hope this will go on for all the life ahead of him.
I was lucky in much the same way. I realized this at an early age before I had screwed things up too badly. Here I am now at a young 89 years old, experienced and a little wiser, but totally fulfilled. What I think was the most important factor was that I was given enough elbow room to make mistakes so I always owned the outcome. Rarely did I ever make the same mistake twice.
There was a time I was Assistant Depot Superintendent with a large, well-known oil company at age 23, the youngest ever appointed to this position. However, on realizing that most of my predecessors were either recovering from strokes, or were dead, I decided to cut short a promising career I really loved.
Another time I was driving an eighteen wheeler in the north of Argentina. "But, Alan, you're exaggerating; there are no roads there." That is absolutely correct and, in fact, there are still very few roads there. When I came out of this beautiful wilderness to my destination, the prim and proper city streets of Buenos Aires, the rig was covered in mud and dust of various colors depending where it had been picked up, now crawling along in low gear -- one can easily get cut off by these darned taxis and delivery vehicles -- would gradually form a motorcade as other trucks coming in from all over the country joined us in what was a true victory parade, and each had a story to tell. We had delivered our respective loads and thus accomplished our goals. I have always felt immense pride in belonging to that incredible brotherhood and sisterhood (yes, there are women driving the big rigs)
One final adventure came to fruition when I shipped out on an ocean-going freighter as engine room artificer, 4th class, bound for Antwerp. The title is no more than a glossy term for Oiler or Grease Monkey. This was the last voyage she would make under her current flag. She was sold to a different company who operated her for another five years before disaster struck. An engine room fire got out of hand and caused too much damage leading this dear ship to be scrapped. I loved that ship and this, I have been told, is the mark of a true mariner. And I do have a photograph of her pinned up in my basement.
The common thread running through the above three cases is that I, though sometimes battered and bruised, I delivered, mostly on time, but if I failed it was due to the most extenuating of circumstances. Tracey, with parents like you I'm sure he has an excellent chance at success. Best wishes to you all, and thank you ever so much for sharing your story; it has cheered me up no end!
Warm regards, alan86734.
alan86734
Posted
Hi, Tracey,
We've seem to have lost JohnDoe99 somewhere along the way. There's room for us all so, John, join back in as soon as you feel ready.
Warm regard, alan86734.