performance anxiety

The thing is, it's something that a lot of men experience. Some men are nervous around girls; others aren't. Less confident men need an understanding woman to help them rather than make them feel guilty about it.

A lot of what it comes down to with sexual dysfunctionality is lack of compatibility - you may have your interests; she may have hers. What's important is to be able to communicate with each other about it and feel relaxed. Explain your concerns (if you have any), work out what it is that concerns you - be it your experience compared to hers is a prime example - and learn to develop confidence through actually performing the act itself.

Sex shouldn't need to be difficult but our minds tend to make it so. Hope that helps.

For instance, I could go to a therapist and explain a situation/environment (say, an argument with my fiancee). I could explain how the argument made me feel, what it did to me physically, what sort of thoughts I had and how it made me behave.

The problem is, if an argument is brewing in the future, there is nothing I can do to prevent it. I'll react differently to it, yes, but my fiancee will react the same as she always has. In any event, no future progress is made and the environment still exists.

Something like sexual dysfunction is something you should first analyse to see if the problem is you, then analyse if it is something your partner is doing wrong. If it's you, work out why with counselling and then do the CBT to analyse how you could think differently. If it's your partner, discuss it with her and see if she's open-minded to discussion. If it's both of you, seek relationship advice and one-to-one counselling for both of you.