Peri menopause libido loss

Posted , 9 users are following.

Hi all,

  • Im 46. suddenly out of the blue one day i could no longer achieve orgasm via my vibrator (my sole method). it's gone. my clitoris is numb and the whole area feels totally non sexual. had nightmare docs totally unsympathetic - trying to suggest it was an emotional issue. then i paid a lot of money to see prof studd harley st. he confirmed im peri menopausal and had a hollow hip bone. he prescribed estrogel cream, utrogestan and t gel 2mg. still dead down there. not painful or dry just non irgasmic. im gutted. i no longer have any interest in getting into any future relationships - whats the point? i miss my orgasms and my lust. i guess the show is over but its quite the shock. anyone identify? thanks

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9 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Rachael,

    I had some similar problems as I approached menopause. Sensitivity becomes an issue then lubrication and difficulty reaching orgasm. I went the holistic route and was first put on compounded bio identical creams that were applied to the labia consisting of estrodial, estriol and testosterone. I too started with 2mg testosterone cream that was increased over the course of three years to 8mg. I did see some positive changes. Last fall I started doing the pellet therapy and it has really made a difference. The pellet doctor did say that it is very difficult to get them numbers up with creams. I am a witness to that because at 8mg testosterone my level was only at 24. On pellet therapy they are looking for a testosterone number for women in the 80-90 range and that is where mine is now. I know how you feel when sensitivity is lost and achieving orgasms is rare. It can be very frustrating. If you know what you want and how you want to feel you really have to take a stand for your healthcare needs. Most general doctors don't know where to begin so it is very important to get one that understands and runs regular lab work. You can be a happier person but it will take some effort on your part and some expense too. I believe it is very well worth every penny I've spent. Good luck!

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    • Posted

      that's v helpful, thank you. I think here in the UK its more challenging making progress with these issues. I will look into the pellet therapy - and yes I will fight! your reply is encouraging. rachael 😃

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  • Posted

    I have no help, but you have my sympathy because at nearly 48 I have a similar issue. I am officially menopausal this month and nothing will rock my boat anymore!

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  • Posted

    hi hunni

    oh dear i do feel for you as I am the same.

    ive been prescribed estrogel and utrigestan too but have yet to see increased libido.

    I also get terrible pain inside whenever Hubby and I do try ti have sex but its not dryness. Doc saya its vaginal atrophy (thinning if the skin of the vaginal walls). This is due to low estrogen apparently but its horrifically painful . Hubby and I stopped trying FOR OVER A YEAR as i was literally crying in pain but the gel use does now seem to have helped by about 50%. It still hurts but not so bad.

    ive just increased the estrogel to 4 pumps a day to see if it help more. But like you I just have no desire though!! it makes you feel so rubbish doesnt it?

    I love my hubby so much but its hard to explain Im just not feeling any natural " desire".

    Maybe we just need to keep up with the gel and pills and all of a sudden it'll come back? i really hope so as I miss those feelings.

    Take care lovely xxx

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  • Posted

    your not alone i also live in uk and iv been to see my GP so many times with horrid peri symptoms the worse is the anxiety and palpitations but iv had no sex drive for a few years now iam 46 it started with dryness and pain then just no interest at all and just pleasing my husband of 20 years just for the sake of it he now understands me a lot better and every now and again we have snuggles and kisses and iam up for it but it takes soooo long to orgasm then iam straight back to no interest at all for weeks or months on end i cant take any form of HRT so iam just hoping my brain engages with down there once again soon as all my GP keeps offering every time i see him is antidepressants good luck in your quest of a mind blowing time big hugs x

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  • Posted

    Unfortunately I too have totally lost all of my libido. There is just no desire at all - with my husband or without. As a matter of fact, sex has actually become almost repulsive to me. How sad is that? I wish there was something that would bring the desire back. I am not on hormones but am investigating starting bioidentical HRT in the near future. I am so sick of feeling SO SICK so much of the time.

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  • Posted

    The same! all of a sudden it vanished! Not a gradual winding down but sudden. One whole year i was like a sex maniac, my husband was thrilled to bits and suddenly it stopped. One month i felt nothing, that month i did not get my periods and then i was suddenly in menopause. My periods never came back no spotting, nothing! And my libido just vanished. My husband is baffled. Now i just never feel like doing it. I don't have any erotic thoughts or dreams. I get no orgasms. in fact the whole act is mechanical. It's like he's rubbing my finger or arm or something. And then i started with the dryness and extreme pain that made it a trauma to even attempt sex. My gynac put me on HRT. Premarin. No help. I use the estriol vaginal cream it makes sex less painful. But no involvement at all in the act. My doc thinks it's some emotional problem, depression, anxiety etc etc. She wants me to take a holiday with my husband!!! This is just crazy, she is sooooo wrong and does not understand. My eggs are over my body is not producing the hormone to make me want to have sex, it's as simple as that. The whole point of sex is for reproduction and if there is no chance of that the body simply shuts down that whole department! i'm so mad, so angry at the unfairness of it all. Men can go on till 90! Anyway i'm going to self medicate myself with testosterone gel and see if it helps. Will keep you posted on it. Am going to keep trying. I'm going to get the better of nature which is so unfair!

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    • Posted

      Hi mee! You are so correct. I was getting periods close together 21-25 days...I was very much in the mood. My poor little ovaries last attempt to try and get pregnant! Then missed a couple. I have not gone a full year yet... but my ovaries are toast (fsh was test recently 170) My last period was barely a period. I think the shop is closing soon.

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