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Perimenopause and intrusive thoughts… Am I going crazy?

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megan41226
megan41226

I have recently been told that i am in perimenopause and I too have horrible overwhelming thoughts... they get stuck there all day. I have Anxiety, OCD, and PTSD. I am about to start BHRT progesterone. The medicine Ive used for years sent me into panic and no sleep. I am a mess and hanging on trying to survive this new phase but am constantly struggling. Therapy helps and is a godsend. My PTSD has resurfaced from my past. My OCD specialist is an angel, however I'm so scared to try other meds cause the last 2 made it worse. This perihellopause is awful. I've litterally lost myself and want me back. Any words of wisdom is appreciated or dimialr stories as I'm not the only one.

2 likes, 18 replies

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  • bev27429
    bev27429 megan41226

    Edited

    You are not going crazy, but it can certainly feel that way. A few years back, I had horrible, terrifying intrusive thoughts that I just couldn't get rid of. The more I tried to fight with them; the worse they got. Sometimes, I would be so exhausted by them, that I would just let them be there, and try to observe them. On some occasions, they would miraculously just up and disappear. I dealt with these symptoms early on in peri for about a year, on and off, but they did eventually go away. It was terrifying. I reached out to my support network: my boyfriend in particular. I told him everything, and he kept reminding me that none of the thoughts were me. I was always open about what was happening and was never ashamed. Lean on people around you, and just know that it will get better. There is a complete failure on the part of the medical community to truly understand just how severe and demented menopause symptoms can be for some women.

    You have my complete sympathy and support. Reach out to my at any time. I will always respond.

    Big Hugs,

    Bev

    • megan41226
      megan41226 bev27429

      Edited

      Thank you Bev!! Its so nice to know that I am not alone. And the medical community sucks at relaying this perimenopause information. Thanks for your encouragement.

      Megan

    • megan41226
      megan41226 bev27429

      Edited

      How was your anxiety? Mine is ridiculous! Feels like I wanna run from me! Im trying to embrace it cause I know what we resist persists, but it is hard.

    • megan41226
      megan41226 bev27429

      Edited

      My current thoughts are I am gonna go crazy... hear things and see things and lose my mind. Like the fear is insane! The meds they gave me made it worse, so Im scared of meds and am certain Im gonna lose my mind. And Im PMSing. So... thats not helpful at all. Anyone else??

    • megan41226
      megan41226

      Edited

      oh yea! and sleep is constantly interrupted ... what the hell

    • bev27429
      bev27429 megan41226

      Edited

      I know how horrendously difficult it all is, Megan. I have been there, believe me! I had times when the most awful images would appear in my mind. Sometimes, I had auditory hallucinations, and I had the sense of someone following me, but when I turned around, there was no one there. The visual images that I used to have were terrifying, and I felt like I was going crazy, but there was a part of me that always knew that I wasn't. It's an awful thing to go through, but you are definitely not alone.

      Big hugs:)

  • sara97862
    sara97862 megan41226

    Edited

    Hi Megan,

    You are not going crazy.

    Perimenopause is a time of physical change, and the hormones that are changing effect EVERY body system.

    The biggest thing I have learned while obsessively researching wth is wrong with me(!) is that these hormones ARE NOT JUST for making babies. There are receptors EVERYWHERE (brain, bone, muscle, connective tissue, digestive tract) for these hormones.

    When they start declining, or surging, or rollercoastering, it's no wonder we feel so crap.

    I don't have a ton of wisdom, except this... keep reminding yourself it's physiological, and keep searching for the things that can help counteract for you.

    I think the progesterone will be a really good place to start.

    We are here to talk to any time.

    Hugs to you,

    Sara

    • cat38281
      cat38281 sara97862

      Edited

      So well said Sara.

      I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this Megan. Do either of you find focusing on your symptoms in itself becomes an unwelcome intrusive thought? For example, you feel a tingling in your foot, which in itself is somewhat bothersome, but even though you want to just ignore it and carry on with your day, your mind just keep going to it and focusing on it and magnifying it?

    • sara97862
      sara97862 cat38281

      Edited

      Hi Cat, yes, I do the same. My brain used to be able to keep all that in the background, and it just can't anymore.

      Same for you?

    • cat38281
      cat38281 sara97862

      Edited

      Hi dear,

      Not so much that it would keep it all in the background, but more that my reactions were just different -- more balanced, less extreme or "catastrophic". Essentially I'd just not give them any importance; they weren't even in the background in that sense.

      Now I have a tendency to catastrophise and it's much harder work to move the focus away. I'd let it affect my mood and I'd dwell... But of course you know the more you focus on a symptom, the more pronounced and worse it seems; sometimes you even magnify it. These "habits" in thinking do become ingrained, so it's important to break them -- it IS possible to rewire our brains and I've been working on that.

    • megan41226
      megan41226 sara97862

      Edited

      thank you sara... it's so nice to hear that i'm not the only researcher out there;) this is hard.... the mood swings have been intense this week. can start BHRT this tuesday. its a start. thanks for your support!!

    • megan41226
      megan41226 cat38281

      Posted

      I'm currently working on that myself... interrupting the "dwelling" and catastrophizing. the thought comes and my thought process will catastrophize, so Im learning to retrain my brain. This is a hard and new phase and so weird that menopause causes this. Thank you for sharing and showing me that I am not alone!

  • beth58277
    beth58277 megan41226

    Edited

    I've struggled with OCD and intrusive thoughts for as long as puberty. They only seem to come on during periods of hormone changes. They were really bad after the birth of my last daughter, then just disappeared, only to come back a few years ago when perimenopause started. After about a year they just went away again.When I have them, they are really bad.Usually about people I love. That makes high anxiety, that turns into depression. The worst thing to do is fight it. Just let it pass and know it's not real. If they disturb you, then you know they are just thoughts and never will become action. Hugs to you, you are not alone. I used to think I was a freak for having these thoughts, It would have saved me a lot of heartache, if I would have just talked to someone, but I was ashamed of myself, thinking I was a monster. Now I know better. It's just thoughts.

  • Ojh3
    Ojh3 megan41226

    Edited

    i understand what you are going through.

    i am nearly 3 years into menopause. i tried hrt.... didnt get on with it, told to just come off it. within 2 weeks i was a complete mess. the anxiety is like nothing ive ever experienced before. ive suffered from it on and off for the last ten years, but this is like anxiety on steroids.

    i stopped hrt 8 weeks ago... and im still no better. i have just swapped from 30mg citalopram to venlafaxine 75mg , and am having awful side effects on top of everything else. dizzy, shakes ..... its horrible.

    i had no idea hormones could cause this much psycological damage.... but they do!

    im here if you need me xx

  • corinne62311
    corinne62311 megan41226

    Edited

    megan, this is exactly how i was feeling. i have tried so many meds to try and fix it they made me worse i was so scared to try a new one. i used to beg my Doctor to make sure she was watching me in case it got bad she always had to reassure me. She is totally miffed by my symptomsi started oral HRT and a little spark was lit. i have increased my dosage to the max dose 1.25 i will tell u it has been a really difficult. i am better than i was but am still ill everyday. i am sticking with it tho because soo many of my symptoms have disappeared. i am better than i was but not "cured". please keep us updated on the BHRT as i am wondering if i should change to that?

    • megan41226
      megan41226 corinne62311

      Edited

      I tried BHRT and for me, at this time, it made things worse. My thoughts worsened and depression. I am currently taking Remeron, Propranolol, and doing therapy. I am better than I was. I was really wanting the BHRT to help, but it wasnt good for me. So what I have discovered is what I cannot take. The thoughts are still there but not as loud... some days are good and some days are not. The therapy is helping and learning to cope. Taking it one day at a time cause my body and mind need some healing. I must say this stuff is crazy. Apparently, it can happen after birth as well, the crazy intrusive thoughts. So why not during Menopause... it super sucks. But I have answers and know its temporary.

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