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Perimenopause & intrusive thoughts, panic, depression, fears of going crazy...

Posted , 17 users are following.

FemaleBrain
FemaleBrain

Hi ladies,

This forum is a God send. I cannot describe the feeling of relief I had while reading about your struggles.

When I hit perimenopause,I thought that I was having a mental break down. I had the physical symptoms as well, but the mental and emotional symptoms scared he living daylights out of me.

I have always had issues with depression, anxiety and PTSD, and when perimenopause hit, my old meds stopped working. It was like my entire body changed and I was left frantically trying to figure out what to do with this new me.

I tried herbal remedies, essential oils, herbs and bio-identical hormone therapy. The bio-identical treatment helped a little bit with the physical symptoms, but mentally, I was still a complete mess.

I finally stopped the BHRT and tried Prempro. So far, the Prempro is helping.

My question is this: has anyone else developed weird/scary intrusive thoughts? Like mental hospital thoughts? My dr was very understanding and told me that she's seen menopausal women come in who are literally psychotic, but I still can't help feeling that there must be something really wrong with me.

I've made an appt with a behavioral health therapist, so I am hoping this helps.

I am so glad that this forum is available. I would appreciate your honest thoughts and opinions! Much love to you all.

5 likes, 24 replies

24 Replies

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  • betty90997
    betty90997 FemaleBrain

    Edited

    I'm with you on that I also have those thoughts and I sometimes question myself if I'm not crazy I can stomach the physical symptoms but the mental and emotional ones scare me I fear taking medicine even if it's prescribed by the doctor fearing maybe he mad a mistake and I'm fed with myself this forum is a God send it helps me to realise I'm not crazy

  • tina00239
    tina00239 FemaleBrain

    Edited

    Making an appointment with a therapist is a very good idea. I too have suffered thoughts of going into a care environment so as not to continue being a burden on my partner and son. But I know no matter what I do or how I am, they would be lost without me. I thank god for them both every day and for their love, patience and understanding. I also ask god for his strength and mercy to get me through this. Childbirth is a breeze by comparrison! Hope this helps you hun xxxxx.
    • FemaleBrain
      FemaleBrain tina00239

      Posted

      Hi Tina,

      I am happy to hear that you have a good support system, I think that helps so much. And I completely relate to your not wanting to be a burden to your loved ones, I felt some guilt about that at first as well.

      And yes, a good relationship with God helps so much-my faith has become so strong during all of this-this trial has brought me closer to God and for that, I am grateful.

      I will keep you and everyone else on this forum in my prayers. God bless yousmile

  • 2chr2015
    2chr2015 FemaleBrain

    Edited

    I basically think doom and gloom a lot. I try to change my thoughts to something positive before it spirals out of control. But, it takes practice and can be exhausting. Hope the therapy will help you.
    • FemaleBrain
      FemaleBrain 2chr2015

      Edited

      I agree, it can be so exhausting and it takes practice, but I think it helps. It gives me a feeling of control to be able to choose which thoughts I am going to entertain and which ones I choose to toss out the window.

      On my good days, I really try to build myself up as a way to have more of a buffer to help see me through on the bad days. 

      I know that the therapy will help. It's long overdue...I've come so far on my own, but I need more tools in my arsenal to beat this hormonal monster.

      Have a great day and God bless yousmile

  • juanita93228
    juanita93228 FemaleBrain

    Posted

    My sister saw a therapist when she went through menopause. She just woke up on day and thought "am I going crazy"? Her husband took her from doctor to doctor and of course all she got was pills and deal with it. Finally a doctor put her on Estrace(HRT) and Xanax. She had to eventually be weaned off the Xanax after two years and was fine because she was on Estrace. She said the Estrace made her feel great, but she could only be on it for five years because of the cancer risk. She said she cried when she had to get off the Estrace because she thought "how can something that makes you feel so good be bad for you"?  She describes menopause as a dark period in her life, she won't talk about it much. Which is why I'm so glad I found this forum.

    I have had the doom and gloom thoughts off and on and I saw something unpleasant in my 20's that sometimes randomly pops in my head.

    Do what you need to do to help yourself, personally I think seeing a therapist is a fine idea. I saw on years ago when I was working in a hostile work environment and became depressed because of it.

    • corinne62311
      corinne62311 juanita93228

      Posted

      did your sister have all the symptoms reappear when she went of the hrt ? this is my worst nightmare!

    • juanita93228
      juanita93228 corinne62311

      Posted

      I'm not going to lie, yes the symptoms returned but they seemed to be milder. If your doctor takes you off the hormones, try to prepare yourself by eating right, getting sleep, exercising, and most of all loving yourself. You might also look into natural therapies, there are some on the market. Don't allow your doctor to just stop the hormones, have him or her gradually reduce the dosage. It's going to be okay.

  • MoodyNoire
    MoodyNoire FemaleBrain

    Edited

    You have my sympathy. This is, sadly, a transition that women in general are so unprepared for. My experience is very much like yours (like countless others.) My peri was a shock when it began about 10 years ago, and although it’s still a work in progress,  it’s much better. Looking back, I realize that if I had had a heads up about what hormone fluctuations could cause, my fears that I was going crazy, that I would lose my children, and spend the rest of my life in a mental hospital could have been lessened. So, i’m so happy that finally there is information and support for fellow sufferers in these forums. We all have different peri experiences and while mine seems to be lengthy and tumultuous, I sincerely hope yours isn’t. One thing is certain, this battle of mine has given me great compassion and patience for others that I never had before, and my daughters will definitely know what to expect when they go through it. I like to believe something good comes out of every bad thing and I guess this is mine. 😍

  • mauiblue
    mauiblue FemaleBrain

    Edited

    Hi Female Brain

    I have been almost a year with this transition into menopause Im 53 now and i share all of your sentiments. Its likek Im not me anymore. Ive experienced anxiety and a revved wired andtired feeling all coupled with very low mood.

    this site was a lot of help for me, and so i am back to support and give support.

    As you say, the thoughts we have can be intrusive and weird to say the least. I find myself much more fragile mentally than ever before. 

    Ive no zest or energy or interest to do any of the things i used to. I basically try to get through each and every day as i have two teens to look after.

    The whole menopause for me has been the most dreadful experience hands down for me. Im praying that i weather this storm and i dont know how long it is to last..some say a few years, other say several years..

    I concur with your doc because yes, so many women have emotional problems during this time, and I see them for myself because i work in a medical clinic. So in a morbid way it provides reassurance that its just not me..

    Feel free to write or if you need support in anyway i can offer.

    Hormones are incredibly powerful and underestimated ..this is what i have learned thus far.

    xoxoxo

    • tina00239
      tina00239 mauiblue

      Edited

      Wow, what a strong lady. Do your teens know what is happening to you? My son has known about various medical issues I have had for years. He really began to understand how badly it was affecting me when he hit his teens. Hes 20 now, almost 21, and if I have a panic attack, he will come and hold me in his arms until it subsides. He constantly talks to me and reassures me and does anything he can to make me feel better. So does his best friend (who is now my adopted son) he sits with me and talks to me and does what he can too! My partner is fantastic and looks after my every need 24/7 and I thank god for all of them every day. I am getting better slowly but surely thanks to a whole practice of understanding drs who I class as friends aswell. My own dr is like my little brother and he goes above and beyond his duty in what he does for me and I love him and his family as if they were my own. I am alone now except for my boys and my man, my immediate family have all passed away now, and most of the extended family chose not to have anything to do with me as I was adopted and they never accepted me or my late adopted brother. This forum is so important and so are people like you who even though you are going through it yourself you are still able to give yourself to others who need you on here. Thank you. And if I can ever return the complement please feel free to message me. XXX
    • mauiblue
      mauiblue tina00239

      Posted

      Tina

      Hi 

      Im not sure if this will reach you in time since its been a while. I just read your post back to me. Thank you. Yep its just me and my boys and they are younger so its a little tougher to lean on them, although they totally know what im going through as ive explained it, and they can see for themselves.

      They ask if i need anything if im not doing well, help with dishes and trash they are very awesome boys.

      I wish

      i was on top of my game and so I beat myself up about that. My Life and the real me prior to menopause was really in tune to everything, their lives activities etc. now its toned down, I do as much as I am physically and mentally able but am very aware of my limitations. Before i could work a 10 hour day and be ok, now when i work like this ive trashed the next morning (like right now) and i have to literally recuperate, my nerves are frazzled, body wracked with pain, disoriented, its awful..

      I hope you are getting through this ok. if you are on the forums lets talk again..im here

      love x0x0

      maui

       

    • beth13506
      beth13506 mauiblue

      Edited

      Good advise , out of curiosity since you work in a medical clinic i want to ask you how come female doctors dont understand and say nothing about hormones i im in peri manpause mine started early poor me , thanks to this forum i finally learned my syptoms are hormonal it relates to many women but i have visited women family doctors other than refering me to neurologist or to do further testing none of them mentioned about it i lost hope on drs .

  • la_shel38597
    la_shel38597 FemaleBrain

    Edited

    During the last three weeks, I have had increased intrusive thoughts. It has been very upsetting to say the least. The plus side is that it has given me the opportunity to have a closer relationship with God. I am 47 years old and I just missed my third cycle. I was on a combo birth control pill for years. This past January I switched to a pill with no estrogen. It seems like the symptoms have become worse. I am waiting to hear what the results are from a hormone test requested by my doctor. Please keep me in your prayers. Thank you!! 😊

    • 2chr2015
      2chr2015 la_shel38597

      Edited

      I sure will la shel.  I get it.  I get those thoughts too.  I was just thinking the same thing this morning...about it bringing me closer to God.  And how I need to start getting back in my bible.  
    • Songbird2
      Songbird2 la_shel38597

      Edited

      My prayers are with you. I totally understand. I believe the enemy of our soul tries to take advantage of us in a physically weakened state, so push back with the Word of God and prayer. I'm getting put back on birth control to see if it helps level this out. One thing about it, my prayer closet gets visited quite often! Jesus is faithful and will see us through!

    • Songbird2
      Songbird2 2chr2015

      Edited

      He is faithful. Use His Word as your defense when you feel overwhelmed. Jesus is going to get us through this. 😃

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