Permanent stoma

m husband had the same op as you 5 weeks ago. Not only has a stoma for life he is also having to deal with a catheter which is to be there for a while yet. i have not once heard him complain ,alright he gets a bit down, but hey hes still with us & convinced things will get better. So chin up & soldier on itearly days for you both & i hope you soon feel better.

Hello sweet heart, oh how I feel your strife! I am a gov cervical cancer survivor!! I had surgery November of last year (14) to remove a tumor from returning cancer. I had a pelvic exoneration, they took everything from my pelvis, my anus, bladder, uterus, ovaries and fallopian tubes, but what eats me the most is my reconstructed vagina!! It sucks royally! I was left with my life yes, and they threw in two ugly stomach bags as well. That must've been the kicker. So you're not feeling like that alone, that's what you wanted to know.

I feel like dying sometimes also, I mean since I'm really not living you know what I mean... I used to be more outgoing and walked in the true way of my feelings, now I'm out going only to hide the depression I carry around daily. I try so hard to just make it day by day, with the accidents, awkward embarrassing moments, and the need to explain myself whenever I am naked! I haven't found a way to understand YET, I do pray that I will. I cry a lot, and can't sleep comfortable anymore, I miss laying on my stomach!! However in all of this terror, I have found that I am resilliant, brave, and a lot stronger and courageous than I give myself credit for. So hopefully as we continue to live, we can be like chris75735 and that "stupid bag" won't be the thing we hate. Maybe it has potential to become the bag(s) that helped us to live!!

One love tealribbons2013

Hello

i responded some time ago to your post some time ago, because your Stoma was causing you sadness.  I have thought of you often and how you are getting on.  It's not easy, is it , this bag, and after all you have been through, to have to cope with is as well is the last straw.  But, what is important is you are here, and we have to boot this terrible cancer away.

i have had my stoma for a year now, they should have removed it six months ago, but I am still on the waiting list.  Now, this will make you laugh, I really think I am going to miss it, I have learnt to live with it and to cope with, sometimes I even forget it's there.  I have read having a reversal comes with loads of problems, and I am beginning to dread it.

i really do hope you have become friends with your stoma bag, and your life is returning to normal and you are feeling good.  You say you are alone, but I bet everyone who visits this site, think of you.  You are not alone.  And we are all in this together, and we will beat this.

Margaret

Hello survivorx2,

I hope you are coping better? My husband had lower bowel removal surgery and the bag is a major factor in our life. It is hard to come to terms with, his surgery was only 4 months ago and he has also had to have further surgery on the stoma itself as it was retracting and the bags would not stay on. It does affect everything; what you wear, where you go, what you take with you, what you eat and drink, what you can do, for example sitting for long periods is completely out of the question. His diet has had to change, no fruit, very little veg, cut out red meat (most of it), eats more liquid food like soup. On the plus side he is fitter and has lost a lot of weight. It has also made us fine tune to the point we do not put things off, we have a family still to bring up and enjoy, we arrange things to look forward too like weekends away, meeting up with old friends and family. It ain't easy but it is not impossible to carry on as normal as possible. I sound like we have it sorted but believe me I can still put my head in my hands and cry at what he has had to go through but just keep one thought there - the cancer has gone. That is the most important thing of all; the bag may be there but that won't kill you; it has saved you. We are fortunate enough to live in this advanced age that means you can live. Do let us know how you are getting on.

Things will get better - you are feeling low and it takes time to get used to living differently.

I had bowel cancer last year but I was lucky didn't have to have a bag (was warned I might have to).

Cancer was on my fathers side of the family-he had a bag for 30 plus years and still lived to be  92! I know it's easy for me to say this because I am not in your position-but I meet a lot of survivors some have what you have - but still have a social life and do things they enjoy.

Does your GP know  how you are feeling ? You must tell professionals how you are feeling.

Have you contacted your Colo-Rectal Nurse ?

Never give up- was what my father said-don't let the b........... get you down-

Do you have any family/partner/boy-friend ?

I hope you will start to feel happier and better able to cope for the future.

Warmest wishes.