Persistent anxiety and sleeping pills

hi ladies, 

I've been reading all of the posts for a few months now and i cant tell you the relief it has given me. BUT, i am in finding myself in a pickle of epic proportions.....my anxiety started back in April but i thought it was due to a UTI and antibiotics..i became determined to find out if i was allergic to something and this created more stress and anxiety. Upon reflection my periods have been very light for the past 2+ years but i dismissed it and thought myself lucky actually..so April came and i had quite a few life issues  daughter moving out of home, financial stress, partner moving i to help with money, new job etc and i lost 8 kilos in a few months. My GP told me i was fine and it was stress, i also had a need to purge myself of all my sins to date to most anyone who would listen and that can be a not so good thing at the grocery store...so i went to a functional GP who said i had high copper:zinc ratio and wanted to get my gut checked for Crohns and gut flora. Put me on a strict anti inflammatory diet too. so i eat chicken, lamb, fish, vegetables and some fruit and macadamia nuts, gluten free oats and rice. That's it. No caffeine, refined sugar, other grains, diary, glutamates or high histamine foods...my anxiety kept increasing though, started seeing a psychologist who told me i was 'deconstructing' as was typical of women in my age group..I'm 45. Things were slowly improving in July, i was sleeping like a baby and having regaular ...intimacies with my partner again. then i found out i was pregnant and had CIN3 - pre cervical cancer. i miscarried at 5 weeks which i am grateful for and on sep 1 had surgery on my cervix. but all that time my anxiety was not only persistent but had huge peaks to where i couldn't function at all could barely breathe and feel like to run but get so confused. I believed i had every type of cancer as i had to run to the bathroom sometimes 6-7 times a day. my body was shaking internally most of the time, my face would tingle etc etc etc all classic anxiety symptoms. Enter insomnia! My psychologist told me i was headed towards a breakdown, which scared the heck out of me as my mum had had a similar experience. I started doubting my sanity - honestly!!. I went to a psychiatrist who prescribed Valium as needed- have used 3 times in 3 weeks but i really don't like it and sleeping pills as i started having horrid thoughts of ending it all.my partner couldn't cope with my anxiety and sleeplessness and encouraged me to take both. I did.. then i contacted a menopause clinic  ( that i now know is a bit shady as they send you hormones in the post) and they said keep using sleeping pills every night as it will help with your anxiety but no hormones needed just yet. That was 3 weeks ago. The anxiety just keeps building and now I'm concerned about these sleeping pills. I actually checked myself into a psychiatric hospital last week as i just couldn't manage anymore and those horrid thoughts started seeming like the kindest option for everyone, so to be safe i went in there. OH MY they gave me 2 awful anti psychotic drugs that had me methodically planning my demise, complete with paranoia. So, i checked out yesterday with my sleeping pills and a prescription for setraline that i don't want to use. I'm off to a hormone biobalance Dr tomorrow in the hopes of helping myself. Oh, forgot to mention sore boobs most of the time, couple of night sweats ( in the 'facility', spotting during last ovulation ( never had that before ) and my newest symptom tinnitus at odd times. I really want to get through this without becoming a drug addict or losing my mind, which feels real at times! and just got my period again 3 weeks after last, they are erratic and have no consistency anymore....apparently i react to most all b vitamins as i have a methylation gene to so only b6 and b12 are my friends....

I cant work anymore and my world has become very small, i stopped doing many things in case they triggered anxiety even reading books and watching movies,  walking my dogs seems the biggest thing right now and hunting for answers and help too. but i'm getting depressed along with anxious...i am going to do a course at one of our teaching universities called CBT,Cognitive behavorial theraoy -  it is to  teach me how to manage the anxiety, am getting bloods done on my hormones, I'm guessing my testosterone is zero because sex is the last thing i am interested in, oh and i am itchy all around my pubic hair area and notice a vaginal dryness...this has all happened so fast for me...i need sleep but don't want these pills anymore and have concern about stopping them

does anyone have any advice or help for me please? i REALLY want to get through this somehow

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