Personality crisis

Posted , 7 users are following.

Hi, guys! I've been dealing with some personality and depression issues, i can't even determine them. So, everytime i'm alone i feel sad, lonely, i keep thinking about future trying to plan things and decide what to do, but that only makes me even more depressed because i have a feeling like future is impossible, like there isn't one. I think too much about everything, i keep comparing myself to the others, i think like there's no way that i'm going to be happy and if i am something bad will happen after, like there's no way that only good things can happen to me, like there's a balance and after one thiny goodness there comes darkness. So that keeps me occupied and i can't focuse on my education goals, or my relationships, or any positive and productive thing. If anyone has a solution, please help, because this is very stressful and it only makes me feel bad, which leads to destroying my health.

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14 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Betty, how old are you? Do you have any friends, I mean really reliable, dependable friends you can speak to? Can you speak to anyone else? How long has this been going on and have you seen your doctor or another health professional about any of this. Don't try to do this alone, you are trying what you can to your best ability, if no-one else likes what you do then tough. It's not their business. Look after you. Try to not be alone, put your TV on, your radio or any other distraction, if you play an instrument do that. If I feel like you do I get out and walk. I know it's dark now outside, but these are some general suggestions. Really good luck, text me in an hour and tell me how you are then.

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    • Posted

      Sam, I saw your thread to Betty and thought I would send you a note.The isolation of depression is so deadly, all it does is lead to negativity and dysfunction. I have been to therapists, on many different anti depressants, and now wonder if my brain is just broken. My current living situation is not tenable but at 60, reinventing oneself is quite daunting without friends or a supportive network. I am always alone, and know that getiing a different job and moving to a different location would be very difficult but possibly provide some hope. Of course, changing everything at 60 seems unimaginable, by myself.
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    • Posted

      Cateboo

      Sixty is not that bad I am sixty eight and I made some radical changes to my life and moved onto a more fruitful  pathway, I have written below and when I read above I thought, you really need to understand you need to help yourself and utilise the assistance given by an effective, understanding Therapist. Yes having a supportive network of friends does help however if you do not have that you could either ask your Therapist or your GP if there are any Mental Health Day Centres you could attend and make a support network of like minded people. I did the same twenty years ago and I became an Information Officer in their centre. Sometimes these centres can help you move on and give a course of treatment from an attached therapist 

      At this time there are also centres that offer people a course of treatment about ten sessions, you can ring them up and they will return your call and asses what sort of CBT will help. You do not need to discuss you are attending these centres, or your GP can arrange a course of treatment for you at the same centre. There are also other services your GP can have access to

      BOB

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    • Posted

      With all due respect Bob it's very different making huge changes with a supportive partner than trying to make them alone.  Would you have been able to make yours without your wife?  

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  • Posted

    Betty, Was wondering too how old you are? Because I have been in a very dark and unforgiving place for 3 years, on and off. Mostly really awful, can't be functional. Took a month off from work to care for my elderly folks,which is totally overwhelming with dementia and medical issues. And the friends I use to have receded, with my severe depression and isolation. My youngest goes off to college in a couple weeks and I often wonder if I have just lived as much as I can. I am 60, very poor, terrible job, living with my elderly folks. Its so sad, I cry all the time. Have been to therapists, on tons of anti depressants but I continue to be unable to climb out of the mine shaft. I do not have a supportive network, or family to rely on. Do you work? have children?

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    • Posted

      Cateboo

      Have you tried to talk to your GP regards your Mental Health, possibly the GP will be able to arrange an assessment for your ageing family and arrange some help with their upkeep. That will help you move on  and address your concerns

      Possibly a course of CBT may help you move on from those dark, three years you have suffered. You need to address your concerns and gain some coping techniques that will help you move on.

      Try and learn to relax, Mindfulness may help given time and hopefully you will be able to address your concerns given time. Changes do not need to be  that radical, as long as you look on each concern in a number of small bites, do this with each concern then take each nibble and solve ways of sorting that nibble if you get stuck move onto the next problem and do the same. Eventually the problems that seemed unsolvable will wither down to a point where you will be able to sort your concerns

      BOB

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    • Posted

      Thanks for the suggestions. I do not have a dr i would want to speak with about this. I also have done so in the past , and they recommend seeing a therapist which I have seen many. I had an evaluation for ketamine, ECT and TMR. Its as if my brain needs to be rebooted, so I can deal with what to do about my life and moving forward. I am looking for other jobs, thinking maybe I should move. BIG DECISIONS. and i am totally overwhelmed with all the terrible decisions I made and at 60 having no savings, friends...and I was quite the optimistic girl until my mid 50's. Everything went south...

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    • Posted

      I'm only 18, which scares me even more. I am excellent student, in fact i was the best in my school and i am going to college now, i attended a lot of competition, physics and math, but i was a very good athlete to. I went to boarding house cause my school was far from my home and there was like people around me all the time. I didn't have opportunity to think alone about some problems and now i am back home for summer and before college starts, and all of those problems are here now with me. I am alone with them. And my family is supportive but they think that i am a prefect little girl and if i would tell them about my darkness they would say that i am just bored or that that's just currently, in fact they did say that. And plus, i have problems with skin coditions that doctors can't diagnose for 3 years now, i feel tired and sad all the time, i really have no energy left, and no doctor can give me the right medications. I have a lot of friends and of course a few very close, but no one wants to deal with others problems, and i figured that one girl that was my roommate even tho i thought she can't be good friend, she's really the best. But we are far away and can't see each other often. So, have you got any more advices?

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  • Posted

    Hello Betty

    If not already you need to discuss your problems with the GP. Ask for help. Write a list and show it to your GP this will make better use of the time you have together.

    You need to address your concerns and some CBT may assist and help you address your uncertainties  and fears. You need to talk out your problems.

    Why do you feel your personality is in crisis, can I help

    BOB

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    • Posted

      Well i would like if my parents understood me, but they just don't think this is something that requires help, but we were separated cause i was in school which is far from home, so i came home only for weekends and holidays, and they weren't there to see some things. But i actually realised i'm 18 and i can visit my GP anytime, i don't have to bother them with my problems, anyhow i go to college now so they won't be there again. I think i don't know who i am, i really can't make decisions on my own, like the most simple, like what to buy cause i don't know what i like, what i want, what i need, i don't know anything about myself. Can you tell me any ways to test myself, to enjoy my hobbies and first to find them, to enjoy life at all?

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  • Posted

    Hi Betty. 

    It seems like anxiety is as much a problem for you as depression-not a surprise, since they are related. I also suffer from clinical depression and anxiety.

    You should not compare yourself to others, you will never be as good a 'they' as they are! You'll always come up short and feel second fiddle. Instead, try and be the best 'you' you can be. You have unique gifts and strengths that nobody else in the world has, you need to work on using those gifts and strengths to the best possible. That's how folks can find joy in their lives.

    I tried to plan all my life, but in fact very few of my plans ever came about. Too many things in life are random or out of our control. That isn't to say you shouldn't aspire to get a good education, training or a path in your life. But, you need to be flexible and work with the challenges life will throw at you. And life will throw a lot of challenges your way just like everyone else!

    Every life is full of sadness, challenges, rewards and joys and your life will be no exceptions. Don't feel you will only experience sadness and bad things in your life because it simply isn't true. You'll have some of that, sure. But life will also show you joy and good times. I'm 63 and I've seen plenty of all of it. It helps if you have a good partner to share the joys and help you through the disappointments-I've been blessed to have a good wife. I hope you can find someone to fill out your life, there are lots of good men and women out there who would love to be a good partner to someone. Be open to it when it comes along.

    God bless!

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    • Posted

      Thank you very much! This advices means so much too me. I guess i'll try just to be stronger, to plan some things that require that, and just be myself, trying to find things i love, try to find myself. I am so happy that i started this conversation and all of you people are trying to help and give advices. People that i spoke to about this problems really didn't care and look at you, strangers, you have more care for me than my closest. I really appreciate it!

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