Personality Disorder assessment

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Hi all

Haven't been on here for a while, got an appointment for BP assessment on the 17/12/15. My CPN has informed me it will be a lot of questions from my past. Has anyone else had one of these?  I am getting so worked up about this this evening, wanting to self harm so gone on the wine. I've got my mothers funeral week Tuesday, this assessment and seeing a new psychiatrist too. I'm getting into a state been out this evening in the rain and wind debating about disappearing into the sea. Home now still upset and getting drunk which I know is not the answer oh yes I;m on my last week of a phased return back to work. A lot going on and i'm struggling.

I have problems opening up with my bereavement councillor about my life with my late husband so how the hell am i going to be open and honest for this assessment. I'm so scared.....

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7 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi,

    Sorry to hear your struggling and scared, sounds like your going through a really difficult time.

    I'm sorry I can't help you with your BP assessment, I don't know what it is. Just wanted you to know you are not alone and keep strong....

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    • Posted

      Thanks for your support, it's an assessment for borderline personality disorder, I'm dreading it.

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    • Posted

      Good luck with your assessment. My mum has paranoid personality disorder, it has taken over her life....so difficult on a daily basis.
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  • Posted

    Hi Tina,

    Best to make a list of all your symptoms and difficulties. That's what I did. Every day I would read the list and whenever I remembered something else I added it. When I got to my assessment, I told the psychiatirst I had to make a list because the state I'm in affects what I remember, and I need to make sure I remember everything and not forget something important I should have told him. He said he perfectly understands and it is a good thing to come with a list.

    Now the important part -

    Do you want to get the diagnosis of BP? If you need the diagnosis in order to get the help you need, then eggagerate everything and really actually SHOW your distress to the psychiatrist as you go through your list. If you do your best to be calm and rational and controlled, he will not be able to see your suffering. He needs to see your distress for himself, obviously, because he is not psychic. He will diagnose based on what he sees and experiences of you. Show him the tortured mind you have to live with.

    If you do NOT want a diagnosis, then do the opposite. Be totally calm, controlled and rational. Sit up straight. Relax your arms and legs, hands and feet. Make good eye contact. Make a joke or two. Compliment him on something, or something in his office. Ask him if he enjoys his job and what is it like working for the mental health industry. Have excellent 'excuses' prepared to explain any behaviours you have been accused of, and chuckle as you explain to show you have a sense of humour and are not taking it all as seriously as others seem to be, and apologise for the behaviours you are accused of.

    I hope this helps.

    Best of luck x x

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    • Posted

      Hi thank you for your reply, I;m not sure what I really want. I have been noting things down when things from my past have come to the forefront. I don't really know what to expect my first encounter with the MHT I got an assessment and said a lot of stuff but missed a lot too as I didn't know what to expect and wasn't thinking straight at that time. The idea of having this done is to try and get a proper diagnosis so they can decide what is next I suppose. Not sure i can fit my life into an afternoon session expecially as it is with someone I have not met before. I'm likely to be on my guard and put the barriers up or be aggressive to protect myself which I did when seeing the occupational health Dr for my work, I frightened him as he thought I was going to hit him, which is not like me at all plus lately my sister has said I was aggressive towards her I didn't even realise I was. So maybe he will pick up those vibes too. I don't know wether he will read everything that has been written about me or start from scratch to make his own opinion. 

      Had to take diazepam this evening as I am so up tight and heart going like the clappers. Gone midnight better go to bed I suppose.

      Thanks again

      Tina x

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  • Posted

    Hi Tina,

    So, you need to tell them you stand accused of bieng violent and agressive but you don't see yourself that way. You don't mean to be. You can't control your emotions. They will get you help with that. It is not a rare condition. Violence and agression can ruin your life because people don't take kindly to it and they'll get you into all kinds of trouble you don't need.

    When you get to your appointment tell them you will read all your problems and symptoms and sufferrings off your list you've written, then leave the list with them when you leave. Never get agressive with the medical staff if you can help it because you need them on your side. Take a Diazepam 5 minutes before your interview and tell them you took a Diazepam because you afraid you might become upset or frightened or agressive and you need help.

    You also need to tell them you are having a huge problem opening up to your bereavement counseller and anyone esle, yet you realise somehow you have to find a way to open up in order to get help. Tell them you want to open up but find it almost impossible. Tell them you feel terrified.

    They can't help you if they don't know what's going on with you.

    Best of luck Tina. I hope you find a well of strength and courage inside you and deal with this appointment in the very best way.

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    • Posted

      Thankyou all you say makes sense when I can think straight and I hope I would never be aggressive or violent to medical staff, I would never forgive myself. It isn't in my nature but it is so scary.

      I will start gathering my various notes I have made over the past year and try and make some sense of them. 

      Taking diazepam before hand sounds a good idea as I know I will be so wound up for this, I get quite anxious even thinking about it trouble is I will have an hour and half drive home afterwards but i suppose the concentration will help have driven before after taking diazepam. 

      At least I've got an appointment with my CPN a few days before hand so I can talk a few things through with her.

      Thanks again for your suggestions. I'll get there I've got to... was going to walk out of work today as had visions of crossing the road and walking into the sea just to escape for a while. So I know I'm getting stressed when this happens.

      Never mind tomnorrow is another day...

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