Pessary Reaction or something else? Please read and give opinion - I’m really worried

I am very prone to yeast infections and always get one when i have a new partner and use condoms till i get used to it. i met a guy and had protected sex, the following day i had friction tears at 12, 3 and 6 and the thrush itch i usually get. He couldn't get fully in as i was very tight and dry as i had not had sex for 2 years. I started with a yeast infection so took an OTC oral tablet. we had protected sex a few more times that week. each time not fully in. 4 days after i took the tablet we had unprotected sex (like an idiot). that week we did it a few more times and the tears got a bit bigger. it became very uncomfortable to have sex and the thrush itch didn't go. i now thought we were passing it between us so we both took the oral tablet and i used a pessary. a day after the pessary my labia became very swollen and red, the tears were now very angry. they didn't change colour, they just swelled up and were very sore. my vagina was nearly closed with swelling. i had used a pessary in the past with no reaction but that was 20 years ago and there were no cuts then.

i applied alcohol daily (not wise) to make sure they didn't get infected. they hurt when i swabbed them but i just lived my life normally. also stopped having sex. they never got bigger or spread... and i messed with them horribly. over a week they healed leaving marks on my skin. i still have tiny scars from them and for a while the skin seemed thinner where the worst one was at 12.

as i've now got too much time to think about things i am obsessing that it was actually a herpes outbreak not yeast and tear complications. can anyone tell me if this reaction is possible? I've been all through these forums and the only pictures that look like what i had are the ones where people have a tear that turns out to be nothing but i am petrified.

he was abusive, a liar and a cheat. this incident happened 7 years ago. i have not had anything similar since. i got checked for STDs when we split and was clean but they don't test for herpes unless you pay as i have never had symptoms.

4 years after this happened i caught him lying about where he was (he was cheating but said he was with his child). he gave me 2 other lies about where he was then said that he actually didn't see me that night as he has herpes and was having a breakout and didn't want me to catch anything. when i saw him the following day (3 days into the so called breakout) there was nothing on his penis. he said it had been little and gone. he also couldnt tell me where it had been and pointed randomly at his penis. he couldn't answer my questions - his responses in brackets - how long he had had herpes for (ages), or how often he got outbreaks (now and again), or whether his ex had it (no idea she got sore once) surely he would know as she had a baby to him?

He often used medical things to cover his lies such as he said he couldn't have sex with his ex as she had bv that she wouldn't get treated for (he was sleeping with her), he told me the ex had been diagnosed with skin cancer and he was supporting her (still sleeping with her). he always had some medical ailment that came to nothing e.g. i'm going for a heart scan and now have to take these tablets... you hear about it for a week then nothing. i've broken down the entire conversation where he said he had herpes and every single thing he said was a lie but i am focused on that one phrase especially after what happened when we met. he once had a cut after sex and went straight to the clinic and got checked, he also went to the clinic when i had the trouble. he always said he was clean till i caught him lying. the only other time he mentioned anything else related to herpes was he told me he had a tingle and thought he was getting an outbreak but that was a year later and conveniently he also spent that night out with someone else. shortly after that he left me for another woman.

COVID is giving me too much time and i am obsessing that i have something. can please get some honest answers? it is now 7 years since it originally happened but it is all i can think about.

a blood test is impossible due to covid and the fact you can only get it privately as they don't test without symptoms.

thank you for reading and sorry it is so long.

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