PLEASE ANY1

Hey Shadow

Sorry you are hurting my sweet. How are you now??

Sorry wasn't online before.

get in touch so I know you are ok

Girl

i feel like all i do at mo is moan and am constantly hurting. I cant even look or talk 2 any1 without bursting in2 tears even now, it feels like there no1 around any more. All i ever do when i go 2 my GP or therapist is moan and go on about me. Im feeling so alone and empty i dont realy wnt 2 talk that much its all thease crapy feelings iv gotand not no how 2 control or deal with them. I got an appointment with therapist in morn and im panicing the way im feelin il just walk in and burst in2 tears and feel such a prat ( im not 1 for showing my emotions i c it sa being week 4 me). THIs week has been so hard iv been in places iv never been b4 and im terrified phoned the crisis team (not a fan of doin past experiences been bad and not helpful) but i dont feel safe or trust self they not understand and just made me worse. Im waalkin down this long dark road with no houses and all alone dont no ware 2 go. :cry: Sorry abot the rambbling bet u wished u never asked now but thank u this is only place i talk out of office have no1 on outside.

hope u all doi ok.

Hi Shadow

Thank you for replying, of course I was going to ask if you are ok. This isn't just a place where you can let of steam but you have friends here as well, me for example. :wink:

Your GP and therapist don't expect you to talk about anything other than you - that is what they are there for. It is perfectly ok to lean against these people and let them shelter you while you release the demons that beat you up inside. You have to let your emotions out and tell your therapist how scared you are. show her this stream of posts if you can't face it. :? :oops:

You don't have to deal with this on your own but if you don't let them in how can they help you? I know it is scary but maybe the idea of talking about it is causing as much pain as not. What have you got to loose?

Good luck this morning, let me know how it goes.

Girl

Hey Shadow

I totally know what you are saying i hate talking about things now because i also feel like all i do is moan and am so concerned with what people will think, but i also agree with Girl, I find once i have talked and even cry, its not that it makes you feel better but its like a release of some pressure that has been building up. Crying isn't a weakness, sometimes it just helps.

I know this is only my second post, but knowing this forum is here I find to be helpful.

Keep in touch

Hi guys, yer went 2 appointment and yer burst in2 tears not as bad as iv been but i did the rest is worryin as i cant remember a thing. My head is not here and im feelin numb and totaly drained, the last few days has just been tears how can cryin take so much ouy u? Am a girl of few words and not much help 2 any1 at moment. :? :?

Take care all and thank u.

I am not really a girl of many words when it comes to me either. Is quite easy to talk to others on web and pass on info but crap when it comes to me so know where you coming from.

Glad you went to appoint and that was ok. did you say how scared you are? Hope you have another appoint soon.

Keep in touch, your mates here care about you x

Hi girl, i told her i am terrified she said shew already new and understood. She also noticed i was havin trouble staying in the moment and she had 2 keep bringin me back. i spend more time in the pst with bad memories and images than i do here. The rest of appont i not realy make sense it all a bit mashed up.Iv got another appointment on monday i c her once a week. I asked her if it was nessesery 2 c my gp every week, i just feel like im wasting her time and i just sit and moan but they both spoken and agreed i need 2 as am 2 much of risk 2 myself not very stable or safe at mo. Im feelin real strange numb empty spaced out gone from cnstantly cryin hurtin myself anger all the bad things 2 feelin nothin not even happy content thers nothin at all. Its like iv got noemotions or feelins left inside me at all. How can i go fron being so manic and out of control 2 nothing, i do have mood swings but its not droppde this low from so high and so fast am living in a bubble noware its freightening. :roll:

How u all doin not 2 bad i hope, stay strong and take care guys.

Hey babe,

you are not on your own. We are all shoulders for you to turn to if you need us.

Don't hurt yourself. When you are feeling a bit better you don't want the physical memories as well as the mental ones.

On another post someone gave me some good advice - try to get out into the countryside and walk. The fresh air, flowers and a bit of sunshine did wonders.

Keep strong Hon!

Lelly

Hi Lelly,

Dont realy feel like talkin much, just wanted 2 say thank u.

Keep up the positive changes.

Every1 have a good weekend.

Hi Shadow,

No more posts for a while - I hope this means you are better and running through the spring country side.

Wish you all the best,

Love,

Heidi