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I've made posts on here before, but I feel the need to make a post now. I had the worst night ever 3 days ago. I saw something that I didn't want to see and it caused me great distress. I'm questioning my gender at the moment and am dealing with intense amounts of anxiety. The post I saw was someone's response to someone saying on mental health day "being transgender is not a mental illness" and the person responded with it saying it's stupid. I started to panic because I felt bad for seeing that. I've been told that being trans is not a mental illness and seeing that hurt me. I felt so nauseous and sick. Even worse, my QPP wasnt any help and misread everything I said. He thought I was involved in friend drama but I wasn't. He got mad at me and said i was getting upset over something that shouldn't upset me. He wasn't helping me calm down. I felt alone and helpless. He's been dealing with a lot too and he wanted space but I kept pestering him. We argued and it made me feel even worse. I felt so bad that my body was shaking. I felt dizzy. I vented to someone about it and they said that being trans is not a mental illness and tried to comfort myself enough to fall asleep repeating their words in my head. Then I started to think I had a personality split and had a member system because I imagined myself talking to my QPP about it once everything blew over and then for some reason my voice sounded robotic. Then I started to think "I'm ciara and I'm their alter and it's been bothering me since then. I should add that I've been around someone who has DID beforehand and my anxiety worsened because I started to think I had DID. Even worse one of my friends was talking about rick and morty and I realized my voice kinda sounds like Morty's so I told them and then I thought that I should change my name to Morty/Mortimer and that made me feel good. But then I started to think I was a fictive of Morty from rick and Morty. None of this has happened before and I don't know if it's because of my anxiety. Please help.
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