Please help.. I'm panicking

Posted , 5 users are following.

I just found out that my boyfriend has herpes, he kind of just dropped it on me. I don't know much about it or about how things go but he says he has had if for over 10 years and never given it to anyone. He doesn't have sex if he's having a break out but we have had unprotected sex. If I get tested and it comes back negative and we do not have sex if he's having a break out is it possible to avoid me ever getting it. I really just didn't know where to go or what to do I'm freaking out alot though because my only sorce of education on the matter would be my mom, she's a nurse but she would be so mad if she found out and would never forgive him for not telling me up front.

1 like, 8 replies

8 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi, I know it may be scary. A few days ago, I was told I had it. Herpes is not as harmful as you may think. But it is best to see a doctor once you start getting breakouts. If you still haven't gotten it, it is possible to avoid transmission if he didn't have the breakouts during the intercourse. However, it is not entirely impossible. Just get checked if you are worried, don't stress too much about it. It's not good for you.

    • Posted

      Well I was told I had HS-2..noticed valtrex wasn't really helping..so I go see an infectious disease Dr. At that time I had nothing, all clear..did blood work to test for HS-2...Dr calls today and I'm NEGATIVE!! Now idk what the hell is going on! So if it's not herpes then what do I have?! Now I'm lost

  • Posted

    Even if you don't have it, that is unacceptable how he told you about it *after* having *unprotected* sex with you and whilst presumably not on suppressive meds (otherwise he would have probably mentioned it). Which type does he have, genital HSV1 or HSV2? Ask him, if you don't know.

    Genital HSV2 is much more infectious and can be passed without obvious/recognised symptoms present (Google asymptomatic shedding). Not every sexual encounter will result in transmission, however, so since you've not had a first outbreak, there's a good chance you don't have it.

    When you test, be sure to do the herpes IgG antibody test 3 months from exposure, *not* IgM (unreliable and inaccurate). If you've been having unprotected sex for more than 3 months, then you can do the herpes IgG test any time.

    • Posted

      He is on meds and we have only been having sex for about a month now so I didn't know if you can get tested that early on.

    • Posted

      That's good that he is on the meds at least. Does he take 1-2 pills every day? If not, he is not on the suppressive therapy dosage and the meds won't do anything to reduce shedding and transmission.

      Without lesions to swab, your main option is the IgG antibody test, which has a test window of 3 months from exposure. The IgM test is unreliable for herpes, so avoid doing that one.

    • Posted

      It's not warts either..the tip gets kinda red, no itch, no sores, no burning...one Dr said yeast, I don't think it's that...idk...I'm lost here

  • Posted

    Well he should've told u!! He's wrong for that..now get tested ASAP...keep in touch

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