Please help I'm really hurt and I don't know what to do...

Posted , 3 users are following.

I know this is really small but lately it's been making me really sad 

I have a really good friend 

in his religion they are forbidden from dating smoking and going on drugs 

He told me he loves me so we both are close but not dating close 

one day he told me something 

according to him his brother was doing really bad stuff that was forbidden in his religion like dating kissing smoking etc 

so his parents would beat his brother up everyday 

i also moved away for eight months (well I won't see him for wig to nine months basically) 

so he told me he cries everyday because of me leaving and because his brother is moving out 

he has a sister who already moved out but she seems happy 

as for his bother he has been doing really really bad things completely forbidden in his religion and his parents would hit him 

his parents have complete control over his( my friends )life and are abusive 

to top it all off I searched up his brothers name and found a pic of him and a girl kissing 

it scared me though 

he looks like the splitting image of his brother so it looked as if that was my friend 

excatly like him and I don't know y but that really hurt me even now 

I was really suprised to see this side of him because he NEVER shows any emotion 

ever 

I could see his parents perspective though 

his parents are freaked out that he would turn out like his brother and maybe thats y they're so strict 

he doesn't agree with ethier side 

then I told him if it happened to ure son what would u do 

he said I would tell him gently not to do it and make sure he never does it again 

I then told him it's not that easy and he kinda yelled/ texted me saying don't you dare mention this again 

I think the first time he showed any emotion I broke him 

he yelled at me that he was crying and to stop even though I wasn't saying much 

so basically he's got this messed up brother who does really bad stuff who's moving out abusive control freaks for parents who always fight with his brother who's moving out 

the worst part is aside from me ruining our friendship and hurting him and opening his wounds the pics of his brother scare me he looks excatly like him it's like the pic where his brother is kissing another girl is him and it's been scaring me and I can't even smile I'm so sad I don't know what to do I feel depressed 

i don't even know if he will ever open up again 

did I just ruin the best friendship of my life 

I'm really hurt please advise me! 

 

0 likes, 5 replies

Report / Delete

5 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi this is a depression site,  have you posted it in the right place?   There are relationship sites on here and you might get a better response there  x
    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Just reread my reply and I am not dissing you at all and am sorry you are going through such a hard time.  I hope you get the advice you need.  x
      Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    A) Your friend has a decision to make.1) He must decide to follow the "Faith".To adhere to its strict religious ":indoctrination." or

    (2)Leave the "Faith" and all its restraints behind!& that means the family unit too,as well as the "community"shared .=SHUNNED.

    1- is abuse.Emotional Blackmail.Silently..PREVAILENT .Very "threatening"and cause of many emotional breakdowns. Causes Family DYSFUNCTION!that can be irrepairable.But that is the choice (They) "alone"..must make sooner or later. & ACT upon. The issue will force them to make a decision.

    Either they choose to stay,because of family "loyalty".The Fear of "isolation'. by the family & community etc.The acceptence to abide by the indoctrination may overwhelm the decision to leave! etc.This can lead to long term unhappyness,a never ending inner conflict..That may well be what awaits them.

    Or Leave.,never to return to the religious indoctrination and ALL that it entails!.The finality here is self explanatory.Again,it will be no easy path to tread.,in persuit of any personal happyness.,but...attainable.

    This form of Abuse,because of religious indoctrination is usually UNSPOKEN. Because of this..it is like child abuse.Child abuse is now made Publicly aware etc. But the Religious abuse is denied...claimed to be "non existent"..does not "arise".a figment of imagination etc.

    YET it DOES EXIST..in many FAITHS.

     

    Report / Delete Reply

Join this discussion or start a new one?

New discussion Reply

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the forums to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the forums are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the forums is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.

newnav-down newnav-up