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I'm becoming concerned about myself, even when I was diagnosed with bipolar 4 years ago I wasn't as bad as I am now!! I'm on 5 tablets a day plus anti depressants . I'm totally at a loss! I've pushed people away by telling them I can't have them in my life ( some needed to be done as they took advantage ) but others there was no need!! My mood isn't stable, I'm feeling hopeless all the time, I want to sleep all day, I'm not eating , I'm emotional yet anger easily. I have no interest in anything. I feel guilty because I see my children see how I am, I'm a loving mum and look after them but I no I can do more. See now I'm crying just writing that cos I desperately want help!! The doctors don't seem to understand, even mental health team, I only see them when I have a breakdown for two sessions then they send me on my way with tablets. I want my life back!! I ruined my marriage from this horrible mental illness. I feel so alone but I want help and guidance but offered nothing but tablets. I try to help myself then I fail and give up. Am I the only one who gets like this because I feel like it. I would love nothing more than to fall asleep and not wake up for my selfish reason but I have 4 Beautiful children that need me and I need to be the best mum I know I'm capable of. Know one understands this condition from my family and friends I have left.
I want my children to see their mum can beat this and live a normalish life!! Has anyone got any advice please? I'll take anything on board. Thanks in advance ??
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