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okay, so. hello everyone.
i am a 21 year old girl and i need help.
to start from the beginning I'm just gonna say, 3 years ago my grandfather died and that took a huge toll on my life. he was my best friend. i was in high school at the time and that was when i started to develop anxiety. not a day passed when i didn't have panic attacks almost constantly. i drove my mother crazy asking her to take me to the hospital and to my doctor because i was convinced i had heart problems because i wasn't able to breath correctly and because i felt like my heart was beating a thousand time per second. thankfully its been three years and i have calmed down a whole lot up until 2 months ago...
2 months ago i started having really bad chronic headaches and neck pains that worried me. so, i started self diagnosing myself on webmd (something i am fully aware i should not do) and i had convinced myself i had a brain tumor or some sort of cancer. so i had my mom rush me to the ER because i wanted to make sure ( and she just about had enough of my crying and whining) at the ER the doctor came in and asked me a whole bunch of questions about symptoms that i might have been having apart from the headaches to see if i had something serious, i answered no to all of the questions. no nausea, no dizziness, no sensitivity to light or noise, no vomiting, or fainting. nothing apart from the constant headaches. the doctor looked at me with humor in his eyes and told me that he wasn't even going to do a CAT scan because he was 100% positive that all i had was a tension headache. so, i went home that night feeling slightly better. the doctor had recommended that i go see a psychologist, so i made an appointment with one! in the week that i was going to see the psychologist i got a whole lot worse, i started feeling dizzy and nauseous and i wouldn't eat, i barely slept, i didn't want to take a shower, or go anywhere. i was constantly panicking and begging my mother to take me to the hospital because i was sure i was going to die but she never gave in. once my appointment to see my psychologist came, i was relieved. i went to go see her and she diagnosed me with severe depression and anxiety, something that she told me she could see as soon as i walked through the door, you can only imagine how terrible i must have looked physically.
i told her about all of my pains and what i was feeling and she has been helping me. its been about a month since I've been going to see her and i have never felt so great! I've been feeling happy and I've wanted to go out and do my hair and get all dolled up and I've been laughing and just having so much fun with my life lately and most importantly..NO PAINS!! ...up until yesterday...i started with my tension headaches again and my whole body just hurts...i feel like crying...i don't understand how i can feel this way if I've been feeling perfectly fine and having fun..
so, my question is. 1: is it possible to be subconsciously depressed and stressed? (is it possible to be stressed and depressed and not even know it?) and 2: are tension headaches a normal thing with depression? Have any of you felt this way?
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