Please help me. Anxiety

Hi erica,

I have been there and done exactly what ur doing now. I've cried that many times of the crippling fear of leaving the house.

My partner too became my safety blanket and so did my house.

For months I couldn't leave as the very thought freaked me out.

All I can say is though I'm not free of anxiety and panic attacks I do go out now.

My partner is able to leave me and carry on his normal care free world.

What triggered urs off??

Have u been to the doctors??

I've found there is always a trigger no matter how small it may seem.

I also found medication helped, I didn't like the idea of taking tablets but know I couldn't have got through it without them.

This forum is also great so spend some time reading through the various threads as so much will relate to u you'll realise ur not on ur own.

Try and stay strong and we will get u through this

Please message me anytime ur feeling low xxx

You are in a dark place right now but trust that you will get better. Maybe the medication you are taking isn't the one for you? Or you may just need more time for it to work. Have you spoken to your doctor? X

This is not my area of expertise, Erica, but I didn't want you to feel ignored. Week-ends can be a little slow here, especially as summer starts to come to a close. Others will be here with some thoughts and answers for you, so stay with us, Honey.

Erica, can you at least get in the car for a brief ride? Might be a good place to start. Another person here with same problem found she could go to a nearby small cafe for tea with her partner if they went right home. They ventured a little further, or a little longer over a few weeks, and now she if not house bound anymore. Any chance of a brief tea visit?

i am very pleased to hear you are on a med that is working.

Another thought occurs to me. Have you had your hormone balance checked. You can actually do this from home. As we cannot use specific names, I will PM you the info. At your age, it wouldn't hurt to check.

Thank you both for your reply I've been In an out my Doctours a few times a week since this begin.

Work and my son getting bullied are the only things I can think of I did everything in my power to try an stop bothe situations

But it still carried on which is why I think it's lead to this

All my life I have always been the Strong 1

And always got good comforting advise for others but I just can't seem to put it all into practice now it's me x

Erica,

          First a huge virtual hug to you, I am also suffering chronic anxiety, it started 8 months ago for me, no reason at all, i improved a bit then mid june had a huge relapse and am in anxiety hell.

I feel intense fear and panic constantly, i feel it when going out too and really struggle to be left alone as well, my husband is my safety blanket although sadly i panic even if he is with me, just opening the front door has me in a state and my whole life is consumed with anxiety.

But i can give you some hope, note that i improved slightly before and what keeps me going is that surely i can again and as much as it might not seem possible now you can too.

Propanolol can be great for physical symptoms but it wont help the emotional distress, it's really important to make it clear to yur doctor just how much you are suffering because there are other medications and many,many therapies that can help you too.

The answer lies within you as well though, this is the painful part but the truth, the hardest thing you will have to do but the most important part of your recovery is to slowly face your fears.

Remember slowly, no need to run out of the house and go for miles or even for long, no need to send your partner out for hours, that's not the way to do it at the start you start with gradual exposure, this is best done with a therapist but you can do it yourself too.

So at  the moment leaving the house makes you panic, even thinking about it does, I promise you I know how that feels because I am the same but I also promise you that along with the right help from your doctor facing fear is the only way to overcome it.

It takes time, a lot of time for some people but let's say you can't leave the house at all, start by walking into the garden if you have one, look at your street, focus on a spot say a few doors down and walk there and back, you will panic but that is okay, it wont harm you and it will begin to retrain your brain, it sends a message to the brain that the only thing to fear is fear itself.

This fear depends on our very dislike of it to exist, we cower away, we avoid it and it thrives on that so by facing it eventually we stop cowering, we look it in the eye and it does us no harm and that fear becomes less important and diminishes.

It does take a great deal of patience and practice, you will have times that are hard then times that are harder than ever but it doesn't matter how hard it is, all that matters is that you try and you keep trying until one day you will notice it wasn't so hard that time and then you can move on to your next goal, slowly going slightly beyond any comfort zone that you have.

If you have a setback it doesn't matter, you accept that and try again another time, I had the worst day ever yesterday, was 100% certain that I would never leave the house again, I went out today, did a bit of grocery shopping and took the kids for lunch, I did panic, I did feel fear but it was beyond what I thought I was capable of and I think sometimes we underestimate our own strength.

You must never beat yourself up or be hard on yourself, I have to have my husband with me to even try these things, no matter, you have to cope however you can.

I was having panic attacks if my husband left the room to use the bathroom, now I can manage to distract myself a bit, tonight I managed to distract myself whilst he tidied the garden, it's just slow steps, you can't rush it or do it all at once so pick small goals and work towards them.

Are you in the UK? If so has the doctor referred you to the community mental health team? You can also sef refer for many therapies these days and some will do it online or over the phone, your doctor should have a list of places for this, ask about that and ring around.

Good luck, i promise it can get better but you do need the right help and support in place and facing fear is the only thing that will eventually reduce it xx