Please help me...extreme guilt

Hi,

Please bear with me as this post has a little backstory. About 5 years ago I was in an extremely mentally/emotionally abusive relationship (I was the victim). Once out of this relationship I deleted all of the pictures out of my immediate camera roll that I could and snapchat. However, I had a samsung phone at this time and of course all the photos were also backed up onto google drive so they did not completely get deleted. This relationship ended in the summer of 2017 and I met my now husband in the winter of 2018. In between leaving my ex and meeting my husband I had discovered that I still had all of those pictures on my google drive. I did not delete them because I never accessed that app and I did not want to relive the trauma of deleting every single picture as I could not figure out how to delete it all at once from google drive.

Right when my husband and I first started dating I went through the pictures because I know I had pictures of when my hair was long and I wanted him to see what I looked like so of course I had to go through the pictures in my google drive to find it. Then, a year and a half into our relationship I went into the pictures again because I was attempting to gain weight and I knew there was a picture in there with my ex where I was heavier and I wanted to see what I looked like. Please understand that I was not holding onto these pictures for any emotional attachment reason. I tried to delete them the last time I went in when I tried to find the picture where I weighed more but I was afraid I would delete something important if I deleted everything and I did not want to go through each individual picture and relive that part of my past. The last time I went through the pictures to find the one where I weighed more (Summer 2020) I came across an inappropriate picture and I laughed at it. I did not look at it for any enjoyment or pleasure whatsoever. My eyes just went to that picture and I found it amusing. I believe I deleted that specific picture and I believe I did delete any inappropriate pictures as soon as I came across them.

My problem is, I feel intense guilt now for having paid attention to those pictures. I did not get any enjoyment of pleasure and that was not my intent.

I try to reverse the situation and see how I would feel if my husband had done this. It would bother me but nothing more than that because I know what my intentions were and what his intentions were but I am afraid he would not understand.

I have OCD and struggle with extreme guilt and intrusive thoughts. My husband is very kind, forgiving, and understanding and tells me that I do not have to bring up these things. However, I always second-guess and say "well if he knew this he would not forgive me" that it would cause us to divorce. Please please please can anyone offer me some reassurance. I am not sure what to do. I absolutely hate this.

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