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I've resistered on here today because I've been tailing the Internet trying to find somewhere that could potentially offer me some support or words of wisdom as I'm in such a difficult position right now.
I'm finding it hard trying to figure out where to begin with my story but I'll try... For about 2 years now I've been dealing with anxiety following an assault I was involved in which was pretty life changing in my mind because it completely affected my entire outlook on life and how I portray people. I see everyone as an enemy and I hate having to leave the house and view the outside world. It just scares me and even talking about this now makes me really uncomfortable.
I've tried and tried and tried to ignore this anxiety and the underlying cause but a few months ago at work I guess I had a breakdown. My heart rate went through the roof, my breathing became shallow and I was continously out of breath. I hate a very tight chest and ultimately thought I was going to or was having a heart attack which added to the anxiety I already suffer from. I was admitted to A&E by work, I had several blood tests, ECG's, chest X-ray and all tests came back clear. Following this I was signed off from work because these symptoms stayed with me for weeks and I was later referred to a cardiologist. I had to be placed on a 24 hour tape and got the results back 4 weeks later. The cardiologist said my heart was looking healthy but she had noticed from the reading that when I came into contact with other people my heart rate would significantly go higher. I told her I'm always aware of my heart and my the continuous heaviness in my chest. I sometimes have panic attacks, especially at hospital. She later told me that she can rule out heart problems but she can tell I have a severe form of anxiety and told me it is also due to the assault I was involved in, therefore recommended beta blockers and counselling therapy (still waiting for this).
Like I said up to now I've had medical notes from my GP saying I cannot work and today I've had to renew my doctors note and he said he is reluctant to give me one because people with anxiety are generally off work for no longer than 2 weeks. I feel upset by this, really upset in fact because mentally I'm not the same person. Physically I'm finding it function and yet he believes I'm fit for work because and I quote "IT'S JUST ANXIETY". This can be a really debilitating mental health problem and it certainly is for me. I work as a health care assistant and its incredibly stressful and very demanding. I don't see any way forward at this moment in time. I just can't. The medication I'm on at the moment are having no effect, having said that they are only 10mg to start. I have been told I will be on 40mg in 2 weeks time. I'm taking 3 Propranolol daily.
I guess ultimately what I'm asking is where do I go from here in regards to this certain GP that thinks I'm fit for work? Right now he had given me a note to cover me for a further 3 weeks but wants to review me on 15th December. I know he will refuse at that point and I will hand my notice in to work if he does because I don't see what else I can do. I'm praying every day that once my therapy begins I will feel a lot better mentally. For the GP today to turn round and tell me it's only anxiety and people don't need any longer than 2 weeks off work is beyond me. I felt like he has a certain agenda on this and is not looking at it from the way a sufferer does. I've had it for 2 years and I've managed but now it's come to breaking point and made me worse by doing so.
I'm really sorry for such a long post but I hope someone will be patient enough to read this and give some advice. I feel so alone right now.
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