Please keep going, hope with Citalopram.

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2 years ago in my long history with mental health battles (been on different AD's) I started Citalopram.  At the time I was at an all time low.  I was suffering horrendous panic attacks and worse the anxiety and depression.  My heart was racing constantly, work was a disaster and I had lost all sense of myself and my confidence.  I had tried a private therapist but it was going nowhere fast and I found myself thinking I would be better off not here on this earth.

I started 10mg of Citalopram and the side effects were not pleasant at first.  Increased anxiety to the point where I was shaking and I remember my daughter was on hols from school but I had to get out and walk by myself and leave here here, it was the only way to quash my anxiety.  It was a very slow process, it was end of May when I started the Citalopram and I made the jump to 20mg fairly fast.  By August I could go on a weekend away albeit I was still quite anxious but I kind of enjoyed it. 

Over a period of time the Citalopram has made me more rational and enabled me to view my problems and life in a different aspect.  Fast forward to 2 years and I have been promoted at work to a manager in the NHS trust in the UK which is something I NEVER thought I would be capable of because my damanged mind told me so.  Yes I still have the odd moment of self doubt, of anxiety etc but I cannot quite believe I am here now.  Don't get me wrong I am very aware that without these tablets it could go wrong because at my core I know my brain, for some reason or other, doesnt' work quite right without medication.

I just want to tell you all please have hope, I know you are in a horrid place because I was too, but there is hope.  Please keep carrying on with your medication route because it DOES work, despite the side effects, despite your self doubt, despite the voices in your head telling you otherwise.

Louise x

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7 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Louise so good to see your story. Big congrats on your promotion ????I no exactly how u felt. Iv been so ill I'm at my wits end ..I think citrolpram must be an expensive drug here because iv fought hard to get on it. Hopefully Tuesday I will be..

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  • Posted

    Bless you Louise, may your recovery continue and your job and personal life give you much satisfaction.  None of us know the road ahead but we need only to enjoy the day we are given

    johmac

    xx

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  • Posted

    Great story. Thank you for sharing. Congrats on the promotion.

    I started on 20 mg in May this year. The first couple of weeks were rough. Then I felt ok for a couple of weeks then now I fell a bit off again. My head feels heavy and foggy. I'm taking recovery one day at a time.

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  • Posted

    thats fantastic to hear. i got extremly unwell this time last year, unfortunatky due to taking citalopram. anyway ling storey im on sertraline now and doing really well.

    do you think you will ever come off AD? I really want to but im too scared the horror will come back?? and i also get scared incase the AD just stop working one day.

    whats ur thoughts??

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    • Posted

      Hi lattifa I was on sertraline for about 2 years. . I found I couldn't stop yawning on them & bright lights made me extremely tired.. but now I wish to god I hadn't came off them now.. I didn't no what side effects actually were until I went on to mirtazapine /venlafaxine. I hoping to start citrolpram on Tuesday tho .. Iv been told if I take on a full stomach I should be ok.. I hope so.sirtraline & citrolpram come from the same med type so I'm having a positive attitude. I hope u stay well ??

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  • Posted

    Well done louise is amazing to hear...this is my second time on it so I know it works xx

    I've been on it 14 weeks now and everything was amazing but the last few days I've gone backwards slightly I'm hoping you'll tell me it's normal xxx

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