Please, please help.

Posted , 5 users are following.

Hello,

I could really do with some advice as right now I am totally and utterly lost. I've suffered with depression for as long as I can remember, sometimes it's all consuming and I feel so hopeless and twisted with anguish that my only option seems to be suicide or taking myself to hospital to be sectioned, and other times I can just about function and put a brave face on but feel incredibly low and empty. On top of that I have severe anxiety making socialising impossible and leaving the house difficult. I've finally realised I'm not ever going to get through this without help and have been to the doctor. Bringing this all out in the open has caused a huge depressive on set and I'm in such a state. I have been with my partner for two years but have loved him since the age of 14 when we were the closest of best friends. I've always known I'd love no one else and that's one thing I know with a vehement inner strength, it's never wavered. At the age of 17 he broke my heart, it's a long story but we didn't speak for 3 years and it sent me off the rails. That, a long with consequential drug use, the loss of family members and numerous other life traumas are hugely to blame for my mental state now. Any way, I need my partner to support me and be strong but he is doing the opposite; he brushes the whole thing under the carpet and carries on like normal, he begrudges taking me to the doctor and doesn't ask how I've got on, he never comforts me with love and affection and when we had a long, serious talk about it (initiated by me) he turned it around so that I was comforting him; he said he's a bad person, I'd be better off without him, we will end up like his parents (who are married but can't live together because they argue so much) and crushed what little hope I was hanging on to, that one day I'll be better, we'll have a family and a nice house of our own (we're living in his mum's house at the moment, she lives abroad), once he's finished his studies and I've found a job I don't loath we'll be less stressed and won't bicker as much. Since this 4 hour long discussion we have not mentioned it again, just carried on like normal and I resent him for his lack of support, made all the more prominent by the stark contrast of how wonderful my mum has been, having suffered depression herself in the past. When I stay with her she talks to me for hours and lavishes me with the love, support and positivity I need. Half of me thinks I should stay with her for a while, as she has asked me to, but I simply can't bear being away from my partner. He's my soul mate and the love of my life but right now I'm so scared of the effect my illness will have on our relationship and can't stand how isolated and lonely I feel in this house with just the two of us. What should I do? And please no suggestions to leave him or anything along those lines because I love him to the end of the world and back and if I was to be without him I'd never recover. Help me please I'm in despair.

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6 Replies

  • Posted

    Talk to your doctor. Get some antidepressants and arrange for some counselling. Both will help you to get out of this depressive cycle. Also, I agree with Ben, go and stay with your mum for a while, and get the support you need to get better. And then you can sort out your relationship with your partner, when you have the depression under control.
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  • Posted

    Hi,

    have you thought about couples therapy to visit his issues as well as your own. You may both be at odds because you are not dealing well with the situation and both need some support.

    Richard

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  • Posted

    Hi ,

    I agree with all of the above comments , you need to see your doc.quickly , you need medication and

    support right now . Time apart may be good for you both to evaluate your situation . Try dating him so

    that you make time to talk away from the stresses of home life .

    Jenny

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  • Posted

    Hi

    It sounds like your partner is having a few problems of his own and maybe that's why he can't offer you any support either way maybe a bit of space is what you both need right now, you say when you try to talk to him he turns the conversation round to his issues when you feel in the depths of despair it's hard to understand how someone else feels it hard enough to concentrate on your own issues so it's impossible to support someone else, you haven't said if you are taking medication at the moment if you are not its time to ask for some help from your doctor, if you are already they might need to adjust the dosage either way it's impossible to do this alone it only gets much worse I'm glad you have your mum who understands what your going through some people feel they can't talk to their family without worrying them but I think it's better they know the situation they can support you then. If you don't want to live with your mum you could just visit her often so you have someone to talk to. I have tried taking myself to the hospital and asking to be helped in that way but they referred me back to my doctor it seem like they only take you seriously when something happens so I wouldn't bother with that route you can get through this although it feels impossible at the moment you need plenty of patience because it is not something that goes away without support.

    Be kind to yourself

    Sue x

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  • Posted

    Hi cherrywaves,

    Sue has said it as I should have said it , but I in a black hole myself right now . you sound very young to be

    in the hole you in right now . get some help soon . Please .

    jenny x

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