Please read my story

I can give everyone my story and offer advice to help but I know I need more than that to make someone see that’s there more to life. I’m speaking from experience.  I remember when I was in the state of severe depression no matter what anyone said to me, I felt that no one could understand what I was going through and the best option for me was to end my life. My self-esteem was at its lowest. I had severe acne, I was obese, and at the time I weigh 230. I felt ugly; on top of it all I was broke, I did have a few friends but I cut them out of my life because of my severe depression. And my family I didn’t talk to any of them either. So with that I was alone. What brought me to tears was when I went to school, at the time I was in college. And people would give me this quick stare and gave me this face expression like I looked like a monster. And No I’m not exaggerating and No I’m not overthinking this. I’m saying this because I never would judge anyone based on their looks and to be profile like this by everyone I saw, it just broke me down. So I decided to drop out of college and I tried to find a job. I can tell you right now I tried to find a job and was turned down more than 20 times. I felt so hopeless to the point where I started to cry myself to sleep. I resorted to drugs to help me with this depression, but it just made it worse, it just made me want to kill myself more. This went on for 3 years. I isolated myself for 3 years I stayed in my room and I didn’t want to talk to anyone I hated everyone and everything. When my family tried to talk to me I would give them attitude and tell them to don’t talk to me. I stopped going out, and pretty much didn’t socialize with anyone for 3 years. Overtime I thought I was going crazy, I started talking to myself and I would stay up all night and sleep in during the day.

It was the 4th year when my life took a turn. I woke up one morning and decided to change my life. I don’t want to live like this anymore. No one is going to save me but me. If no one loves me I’m going to love myself. I asked myself why I am like this, truthfully asking myself this. I was never like this growing up, what changed. That’s when I started attacking all the things that made me unhappy.  I had severe acne and I was obese so I started working out and eating healthy. I worked on this for a year and a half and lost 50 pounds and cleared up my acne. I was still broke so I started watching motivational youtube videos and reading financial successful stories to motivate myself to make something happen. Since I isolated myself and didn’t really have anyone to talk to for 3 years I didn’t really know how to socialize anymore. I would slur all my words and mumble when I talk. So I decided to read books, I started reading out loud in my room and that helped me a lot. I still couldn’t find a job and I didn’t want to go back to college. So I searched online and found a pre apprenticeship that I can join to get into the construction trade. It wasn’t just a job anymore it was a career. So I applied and got accepted and I pursued that. I finished the pre apprenticeship and became a carpenter. I'm making good money now. My goal is to save up enough money and start traveling. Those 3 years of my life I can't get back so I have to make every second count now.

So I can tell you guys things do get better only if you make it happen. You don’t like your life change it. Write down all the things that are making you unhappy and find ways to attack it. Just don’t give up. And I chose not to go to the doctor because they wouldn’t understand what I was going through. That’s my story hope it will help everyone. 

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