Plz help someone with advice Iv tried everything rehab here is like hens teeth

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Hi I'm 24 years old I have been a drug addict my whole life my head is gone Iv been trying to get rehab but it is not happening for me at all... It all started when I was around 7 I smoked cannabis a lot off it I come from a wealthy boxing family so I uset to steal tickets and money to buy it no1 ever noticed so I kept stealing to feed my habit, I took my first line of Coke around 9 (street level mixed crap) no interest in it then I started taking extacy at 11my parents would off been more aware so I always stayed at my friends his mum never came in his room so was easier to hide without being caught I went off those when I was 16 still using cannabiss throughout the whole time (the herbal kind always had the best off weed) I started using cocaine again but was still street level the weed messed my head up in the beginning I got to a pint were I didn't want to do anything with my kids I was too paranoid to leave the house sometimes etc. Iv quite a long criminal record mostly for small bits cannabiss all Possesion and some class a also Possesion numerous driving offences and some charges witch I think I'll go to jail for if I am convicted (on bail at the moment) think iv near 40 convictions I would say up to 28 would be juvenile.... I got sentenced for a small bag off weed and handed a suspended sentence so if I was caught again was jail so silly me started buying people's scripts off them off diazepam 1,2 or 3 5mg would have got me chilled and relaxed and had my self of steam back because it was really low back then when using weed.... Next thing is the Coke started getting better I was on it every week 3ozs between 4 friends (only on weekends) and still cut stuff but was stronger around this time this was up until around 18 months ago... I took my first line off pure Coke really dear 100£ a gram stuff I'd say 4-5 years ago I hated it because I was still a stoner at the time it made me anxious antidocial not wanting talk people.... But as my tolerance got higher I youst to buy a gram for when the other stuff didn't hit me... I was able to sniff away no paranoia anxiety because I was mixing 10mg diazepam with them these were all off black market 28 at a time a full box.... Then the problems start I was held hostage in my house for 8 rs, that's wen I took my first lyrica 400mg I think I was then stabbed 6 times in my back then got nocked down I was having problems not seeing my kids and was really dwn I started friendship with a guy that always could get pure Iv been on it everyday since December soon as I wake up until I go to bed the 900mg lyrica won't help anxiety anymore so I'm drinking vodka to give them a boost I was never addicted to lyrica you see I was only taking them because I have two whole n my nose it's a pain undescribable best way to describe be like a hot poker up it but 900mg lyrica and few vodkas seem to take it away and help me sleep aswell even thow I no it's a very very dangerous cocktail off drugs.... I tried go off my lyrica other day was really sick constant Doris I think started my second day off them I read up all side effects off withdrawell and I'm really stuck don't no what to do should I go back on my diazepam ? I used cocodomal for the pain the couple days I was off them hate them because there a opiout and they didn't even help the pain I've been on lyrica since last August.... I'm scared off the withdrawell because it's hard enough coming off cocaine I be up all night with insomnia sleep for half r think it's all night, the longest Iv tried to stay off it is 3 days I just can't but I need advice about these lyrica first because I no if I get off these the Coke makes me more anxious and will give me more motivation to stop thanks for my chance to tell my drug life story but I want to be free now I hope some one can give me advice

Thanks a lot plz someone reply

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  • Posted

    Listen man, it's the last thing you'll want to hear or do, but you need professional help. You need to go to hospital and ask for help in there. Or make an appointment to see a doctor. They are better placed to help you than any of us can.

    In the mean time though, stopping things all at once will likely send you into a downward spiral, so you need to slow things down one at a time. You'll find it easier to do it this way because you can tick them off the list as you go.

    If you are from a boxing family, then winning should be in your blood, and beating this whole thing should mainly be for your children. They need you, and they need you to be healthy so you can set an example to them. They will look up to you, so you need to be strong.

    Kick the coke straight away because it's a pointless drug.

    Then with the money that you would be spending on it, you should use it to take your children out for the day. That money will go a long way to making them happy, and making you feel closer to them.

    Good luck mate.

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    • Posted

      I was about to say that!

      If you're in the UK, there are walk-in addiction centres everywhere, so just refer yourself. That's what I did.

      If you're in the US, I hope somebody in the US can advise you. I think you're in the US because you said Lyrica, which is a brand-name. We use generic names in the UK. But that's kind of irrelevant. You need a very experienced doctor to help you. This is waaaaay too much for us on the forum to help you with. BUT stay with us, please keep posting, and tell us how you're doing, because we can support you emotionally, and that's really important, and we'll keep answering.

      Please go to see a doctor. Today, if possible. Your children won't have a dad much longer if you don't.        love to you and stay in touch, please!!!         xxxxx from Tess

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  • Posted

    BrianJoseph.

    The other two replies you have had - Please listen to what they have said. Addiction is a disease mate that you do need professional help with. Please see a doctor who will put you in touch with someone who can help you.

    I was addicted to Oxycontin (Hillbilly Heroin) for 5 years taking around 1500mgs per day, that's enough to kill 5 people that aren't opiate tolerant so it destroyed my life.

    I know you don't want to hear it but believe me, your best bet is to see a doctor or, if you're in the UK, there is an amazing charity called "Release" Google them. They are worth there weight in gold & really helped & and are still helping me now!!

    Good luck

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    • Posted

      Thanks for your reply btw mate I'm going to jail I think for take ing the rap for some1 else I don't have much time mate gonna try get in a syc ward today heads gone ?? Too hard get in anywhere here like hens teeth as my gp z an probation same fs

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    • Posted

      Will they wean my off my lyrica I suffer chronic anxiety depression I got remanded and ended up in maghaberry and it was my mates committed the crime they doubled me up with a polish guy but I told probation the nurse Chaplin that they may get me my own cell or I'm a dangeour and didn't care if done my time on the block, they moved him out off the commital wing but I was still in a double cell I jus was waiting on some1 else getting doubled up with me... My attitude remains the same now I'd rather be alone in the block than doubled can they put me in with someone or what will they do with me do you no? Iv only done just under a week in jail lucky I got out bail video link thanks for ur reply

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    • Posted

      Well, I worked as a nurse in a prison about twenty years ago, and it was in England.

      I'm myself addicted to valium and I am doing a very good, slow tapering off under the supervision of an excellent doctor.

      The Home Office Policy on treating addicts in prison has probably changed, but I did notice they kept people on anti-depressants, such as Lyrica. What they stopped, using methadone, was heroin - waaaay too fast - and valium/temazepam or any sleeping pill addiction - again, much too fast. I hope sincerely that for all ssuffering addicts, they've changed their policies. If you're on a short sentence, they'll still do their version of weaning you off.

      I doubt very much if you'll have a choice of doubling up or not. That's up to the Prison Officers. I was on the nursing side, so had no say (or understanding) of how and why people were in doubles, singles, or even four-bedders. It seemed random, except Lifers were always in single cells. I don't think the prison system will be helpful - it's when you get out that you will have to try very hard to get some help for yourself. Unfortunately you'll be a 'labelled' junky (as I am) so doctors are sometimes unhelpful. It is your business whether or not you tell your doctor about prison. If you are lucky enough to get to see a specialist in addiction, you should tell them EVERYTHING so they can help you.

      I really do wish you the very best, mate. keep in touch. xxxx

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    • Posted

      I do I'm going to addictions ni at 4 o clock maybe another reason was I cant urinate if someone is around me even if I hear someone's footsteps close to a door it shuts off like a water tap Iv been too ureoligists in past they said nothing wrong because the urine passes so it's something to do with my mental health? I don't take opiots or anything so it's nothing to do with that as I no that blocks u up unless lyrica is a opiout ? Iv been prescribed flomax in the past and that didn't help either so it must be in my head due to mental health problems I suffer I was also checked for stis aswell, this was the main reason I pleaded for a single cell the nurse when I went in felt my bladder was hard and new I wasn't lieing after I saw her I was brought to my cell then probation asked to see me told them my problems too... I might be getting into a 5 week dry out place before I'm sentenced I no not to put myself threw this hell again so I'll just attend na meetings and remind myself never to relapse I was extremely addicted to 10mg Valium off black market diazepam they were in the real boxes and everything but still fake 28 a day didn't do anything except make me feel normal I got too 1 a day then jumped up too 28 again after going dwn 1 a week.... I started lyrica and I cudnt get any diazepam at that time so next thing I new I was off them 2 weeks! That was the hard part now I'm taking both some days mostly lyrica because it helps the pain in my nose but I take lyrica everyday or become sick it must be like heroin or somthing

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    • Posted

      Aha!!!

      Lyrica is well-known for stopping people being able to urinate. I used to take it and had the same problem.

      It isn't like heroin, but it does affect certain parts of the brain. Do you get a dry mouth as well? That used to drive me nuts.

      Sounds like you're making some good, positive plans. Keep in touch, PLEASE. nobody here will diss you especially other addicts!

      We know what it's like.         lots of love from Tess xx (Old Lady now but full of wisdom ha ha ha)             

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    • Posted

      Tess has given you some good advice mate.

      Please Google "Release" they really helped & still are helping me. They're in London but after you contact them via Internet they will ring you. They saved my life so I'm sure they will help you.

      I'm in Derbyshire in the UK

      Take care & good luck

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  • Posted

    You definitely need rehab my friend..don't stop on your own, I wouldn't want anything to happen to you.you need professional help.

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  • Posted

    I just want to spread some major love and palatine energy to everybody on this conversation chain.

    As a fellow addict, I EMBRACE YOU ALL and I really really sympathise. My heart and love goes out to you all! ??

    I'm 28 years old. I had a really dysfunctional, traumatic and hard childhood. I was very alone. I was left to fiend for myself. But it's made me who I am, no regrets. If I start regretting things I just may go a little cookoo 😁 If ya know what I mean!

    I started drinking at 12 and was doing that pretty heavily until I got into drugs. Started off with weed, then speed and pills, then coke, ice (meth), K, acid, and finally heroin. I'm currently a heroin addict and have been so for over four years.

    I'm a sad person in nature and having the mental health issues I do, I went the opposite way you did and all the 'downers'. Downers are my poison and heroin is the devil!

    It didn't help having an even more messed up young adulthood. No support etc. I surrounded myself constantly with the wrong crew. Constantly wear my heart on my sleeve. I trusted people so easily. I cringe saying this but I have the biggest heart. I'm a total sucker for getting myself into sh$t just to help out somebody else. Even a stranger. Don't worry I've learnt the hard way and I'm not that gullible and naive or as trusting as I used to be.

    All I can tell you my friend is that you're definitely not alone and you are NOT a bad person. You're a human being too with feelings, emotions and experiences- you have your own story. So don't let anybody make you feel worthless, don't even do that to yourself.

    The advise you've received so far is great. Addicts are the best people to talk to sometimes. They have the most compassion and understanding of what you're dealing with and going through.

    It's been a couple months since you posted your situation. I hope to God you aren't suffering and are doing as well as possible. Recovery takes time and you should give yourself all the time and love you need! It's going to be one step forward three steps back, so on and so fourth, for a while. It's never a good idea to do cold turkey and I would try my best not to get addicted to Valium/diazepam because that's a whole other hell you don't want to be in. I'm sure Tess knows exactly what I'm talking about. Apparently benzo addiction is the hardest and most painful to come off.

    I hope you have a good medical team. I couldn't stress that enough. I'm constantly reminding people that a good medical team is the most important thing.

    Anyway I feel like I'm going around in circles abit here. I really hope you didn't go to prison. And if you did I hope it was as painless and quick as possible for you.

    You have friends here from all over the world. You sound like a top bloke, loyalty is very rare to come by these days. I myself live for it and by it.

    Sending you hugs, love and Australian sunshine

    Elly xo

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