PMS and peri

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Can I ask a question please

If you had mild pms well before late peri and was just a little quite and grumpy and not prone to any outbursts does it stay the same or does it get worst the closer you get to menopause

Thanks

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  • Posted

    It varies from person, to person, i had pms before peri, had it since i was 17 and some times as my cycle got nearer, it could be mild, or, it could be severe, and thats the menopause also because, you just dont know how much your hormones are going to fluctuate during this time, but, my pms mainly was mild, but since i went into peri later on it hit extremely hard, so, mine got worse actually during peri i can only assume from that, that, this was because i had a big drop in hormones at some point, and your periods dont have to have stopped for you to experience that.   Ive been post now for a year and when my periods actually stopped (menopause), and for that whole year i dont remember having bad symptoms at all, however, that whilst my symptoms have gone milder, and i go longer before i have them again, they can still sometimes come back and  bite me hard on the backside, normally when i think its all finished, so, there is no hard and fast rule, some of us will share the same symptoms, in both type and, severety it just depends, on how imbalanced your hormones become. 
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  • Posted

    Thanks for the reply, they say that peri is like permanent pms so when its the week before, pms week, could the pms be a lot different / worse than before?
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    • Posted

      Yes its worse than before, but i didnt have it permanently, it started when my cycle was due, when i was on, it stopped, as you need your hormones in your system to do that, when our on your period your produce adequate hormones, so, you shouldnt have your symptoms then technically, then when the hormones leave your body, again you take another dip until your body settles again, then fingers crossed it shouldnt happen again until your cycle is next due, but  there are exceptions to that rule, and some unlucky ladies do get it all the time, whether that is a sign you need HRT im not sure, if you have children, remember how you felt whilst pregnant, all your symptoms come about in the first 3 months due, to hormones fluctuating, then when our body adjusts to that things settle, then after we give birth we have another influx of hormones, and then 3 months later those hormones leave our system, this is when some ladies suffer post natal depression
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    • Posted

      PS.................Whilst my PMS was stronger, i didnt have anything different with it, however, there are some ladies on the forum who did experience different symptoms with their PMS, my sister being one of those, violent shaking, actual vomiting, resurfacing of old phobias, paranoia, and severe panic.  I found the depression much, much worse, very black, had to get some anti depressants for that, since ive been post ive not needed it.
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  • Posted

    Thanks again for all the info, trying to learn as much as poss to try and get my wife back
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    • Posted

      I barely had PMS. A little grumpy. Mostly just felt bloated tired & mild headaches. I didnt even have much cramping like sine ladies get. Peri is much worse symptomwise than PMS was for me anyways. However, everyone experiences PMS differently too just like Peri. Some symptoms are much worse for others eith both PMS and Peri.
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    • Posted

      Oh dear...........Steve im sorry, when i read your name i thought is this a man, knowing a lady would spell the name stevie not steve, just thought it was someone spelling it different.  If your wifes symptoms are 24/7 then she may need to consider HRT, depends on how she feels about risks.

      Blood tests for early peri is very unreliable unless hormones are obviously on the floor, so, they are reluctant to treat with HRT until hormones settle and they can get a truer picture of where the patient is at re hormones, generally our  experiences both in the UK and the US  to find a sympathetic gp with regards to menopause nowadays has been extremely hard, the amount of arrogance, and ignorance on the subject has been staggering, and my gp was a woman, she told me at 47 i cant be on the menopause as i wasnt 51............incredible

      Your wife needs to start with lifestyle changes first.   Get up same time every morning, go to bed same time at night to avoid fatigue, exercise gently and dont over do things, otherwise she will produce adrenalin affecting her sugar balances, and making pms worse, along with low mood, menopause will also affect, digestion, either slow it, or, cause severe acid reflux, constipation, and severe diahorear as it causes IBS type symptoms, all due to low oestrogen levels.

      She needs to eat a diet  high in protein and low in unrefined carbs, to avoid sugar level drops, and stave off hunger pangs, she must stay totally off refined sugar, and avoid sugar cravings by eating small protein snacks, as this is what causes in part, to gain the weight, and it goes on our middles, because we lose both testosterone and progesterone, which is the hormone responsible for keeping weight off our middles, being a man steve, you will know that if yo yourself have gained any around your middle, its because you have also lost testosterone, she may initially lose large amounts of weight due to stress from time to time, the key to balancing our sugars is eating little and often, as eating refined sugars will only cause severe fluctuations which we need to avoid during menopause, she may find she will have one set of symptoms one day, the something else the next, and she needs to identify which group of symptoms shes having so she can treat it accordingly, because doing it this way, everything has to be done seperately. 

      Swimming and gentle walks, helped me enormously with the fatigue, but as soon as you get any aching or, painful sore muscles and tendons she needs to stop and rest, pacing is the answer for the fatigue, and drinking plenty of water, and keep sleeping patterns stable by keeping our inner clocks set by going to bed at proper times.

      Relaxing techniques for the severe anxiety, and drinking at least 2 litres of water  per day will help, anxiety and fatigue.

      Supplements, to try are, B12 to strengthen nervous system, B6 to help balance female hormones, magnesium, and evening primrose, but there are many more, just try one at a time see if it has any effect, if not after 6 weeks discontinue it, and move on to something else until she finds what helps her.

      Natural remedies for the menopause to try, Black cohosh, Macafem, Chaste Berry, st Johns wort but the list is endless, you can get these from any chemist, online, or good health food shops, health foods as well, and homeopathic remedies, along with acupuncture for joint probs or, fibromaylgia which is muscle pain due to fatigue, but really therapies like this only give temporary relief, best thing for fatigue, is rest, and pace, another thing she may notice is, her motiviation will go completely, and she wont be able to get out of a chair, she will also be depressed, but this is not true depression, as she will not have guilt feelings, or, not want to do something, its just that she hasnt the energy to do them as much as she use too, when she feels like this, exercise will definatley help, so she has to push herself then to feel better, but really it depends on what is her worst group of symptoms, and to me from what you have said, its the anxiety.   

      Not everything will work, its a process of ellimination and trial and error, may only need the supplements whilst she s going through her permenopausal flares, as she shouldnt have her symptoms all the time, but like i said there is the exception.

      There are 3 stages to menopause, peri which can start as early as 35 symptoms are, heavy clotting bleeding, increase in pms, night sweats, hot flushes, cold extremeties, and more but when were younger they tend to be more subtle changes so you dont pick up on everything,  as time goes on periods will change, they may become closer together, and start getting lighter. all this is known as stage one of perimenopause, or, pre menopause as it use to be called, from start to finish it can last 10 years, and up to 15, on the otherhand some women can be on it as short as 6.

      Stage 2, is menopause itself, and this is what all our symptoms are leading up too, this is when periods actually stop, and symptoms should ease greatly then for that year.

      Stage 3, is post menopausal, this is when you have had no period for 12 months and you have to go a complete 12 months before you can say your post, symptoms will still be there, but, should be mild and will only come during cycle times as before, eventhough she will have no periods by then, she will be able to pick it up, post symptoms can last for a further 5 years and then go all together, however, some womens symptoms can get worse at this time, which, is when HRT needs to be considered, there are natural hormones available that are safer than other forms of it, you will have to research them online, but, your wife will not be given HRT if there is breast cancer in her immediate family i.e sisters, but not sure abut the more natural ones, and she shouldnt take HRT however natural herself, because, she wont know what she is down on and she could do more harm than good.

      She has a great husband if hes researching all this for her, but shes going to need you, if you stick with the forum, you will get many opinions, and treatments used, but its what helps the individual, and if anyone was to have told me, that hormones can cause this sought of devastation, and im a strong person, i would never have believed it, totally frustrating and trying to work it all out, what symptoms your in, what to treat what with what, agonising to think we could get rid of the lot with one pill or, patch and we cant have it, why make it then??..............any time you need any advice steve just come on the forum, or, get your wife too, when she realises there are so many people suffering the same as herself, that in itself will make a difference to how shes feeling about things, because at times its completely debilitating, and the word change is right, it does change you, you feel it happening in yourself and we all hate that, but she will come back!! .........take care, and good luck!!...........sorry its long.   

        

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    • Posted

      My wife used to get super hot feet and lower legs, we used joke about it, I once put a thermometer between her toes to see how hot they were, again both of us joking

      In the last 6 to 8 months I've noticed slight rage, nothing to bad but I've never seen it before in her, we had a couple of minor arguments and she was shaking with rage!

      A few times I've noticed a few wrong words in the wrong places when we've been chatting and also, not so much forgetting things but putting things in wrong places and leaving things on like the gas hob and the chip fryer, not at the same time all separate incidents

      We recently relocated back to UK after 20 + years in southern Europe where it was nice weather 99% of the time, I'm still getting used to the colder weather here, but have noticed a few times, when I woke up in the middle of the night because I was cold my wife lying on the top of the duvet and not under it, I could feel the heat coming off her.

      I don't know how frequently this happend as I didn't wake every night and am quite a heavy sleeper

      I've also been taking note of her cycles, they are slightly closer together 24-25 days and slightly longer duration

      Is this all peri related?

      Thanks

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    • Posted

      Yes definately, i havent had the rage to that extent, but have had more rows with my husband, and yes ive messed up words, and even stopped mid sentence because my head went blank and it just wouldnt come, some people finish sentences for me, particularly other women who have been through the same thing, so they knew what had happened, and saved my embarrassment............ha, and yes ive also left things on the hob from time to time, and the heat thing yep............my husband woke from a dream, where he thought he was burning in the sun, and had fell asleep, so, he needed to wake to move into the shade, when he woke, it was my hand resting on his leg, he thought he was on fire, the heat is incredible, yet i was fast asleep, you need to be careful of dehydrating when its like that, try and get her to have water by her bed at night incase she wakes having a night sweat, if she has a night sweat it will wake her and she will drip in sweat and may need to change her night clothes, and even bed linen, depends on how bad it is if she has them, but i didnt have hot flushes during the day, so she may not.

      Dont know how your wife feels about anti depressants but, i went on one called Sertraline, low dose 50mg, 1  a day, helps with aching joints, and migraines, so it is also prescribed for migraine sufferers, but, it is one specially for PMS depression, it doesnt work for everyone, and in some, it can make things worse unfortunately, but that can be all anti depressants its finding what works for you, its whats known as an SSRI anti dep, it works by stopping the brain taking up all the seretonin, so it acts as an inhibitor, its whether you could get your wife to agree to something like that, and  i wouldnt advise you to tell  her you have been coming on this forum and speaking to menopausal ladies in the hope of helping her, especially when shes in a pms rage..........ha.  Now im post i am not on it any more, i was on it for 2/3 years, it definately took the edge of my depression which, is all i needed, your wife seems to be handling it like i did, i would go guiet, but it became so bad one n ight when we went out socialising, i was fine about going, we had booked a hotel for the weekend with it being out of town, but, at the event i could barely speak, just black depression it came over me all of a sudden............awful, couldnt stop apologising to my husband later, just hope know one noticed, i really had to push myself, he knew there was something wrong, but said nothing, i felt i owed him an explanation when we got back though, then the next time, after not answering the phone to my own daughter, because i just wanted to stay in bed it was like i was shutting down, i thought enough was enough thats not me, i couldnt handle the black depression, everything else i have coped with, but not that, so, if she goes quiet again, see if you can talk to her about it, just incase its getting bad for her.

      Going off my ow exeperience of my cycles, i would say she is in early peri, heavy bleeding, or, periods coming closer, and staying longer are all signs your wife may be in early peri, and thats when symptoms  can be particularly bad, but even before menopause, because our female hormones are up and down, sometimes symptoms would be so subtle you just carried on without it bothering you, but every now and again it would flare up worse, and thats hormones, well its the same for menopause, but  shouldnt always be that bad...............however, if you notice it is, or, its getting worse instead of easing, and she isnt getting breaks inbetween, then she needs her bloods to be taken incase she needs HRT.

      Write again if you need too................best wishes

      Elaine

      You must be pig sick being back in England, with how the weather has been over the weather, freezing and so windy this weekend, we live in the north west, and we just dont get summers like we use to, we still get seasons, but, they all seem to be blending into one.

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    • Posted

      Thanks Elaine, yes we've are in the north west as well (small world) we relocated back to her home town as she has friends and family here.

      I don't really think there's anything more I can do to help as I'm now living on my own, mutual friends of ours have tried to suggest it may all be peri related but she's adamant it's not and she just don't love me anymore, again all friend and family are amazased this has happend after a good 10+ year loving relationship and also only 6 months after we set up out new home / life here in UK

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    • Posted

      Oh dear!...................very sorry to hear that! shes made a massive decision in her life, and its based on what shes going through, its her menopause thats making her reasses things in her life, shes looking for reasons for feeling the way shes does, and blaming it on her supposedly unhappy marriage, so if she leaves you then maybe she will be better, and be happy again maybe!! most ladies, cannot accept that the menopause can make them feel so, physically ill, and not themsevles, so, it has to be something either, there is something seriously wrong with me, that drs havent picked up on yet, or, im very unhappy somewhere in my life............. all you can do in a situation like that, is stay close, give it time, and see what happens.

        

      Good luck!

        

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  • Posted

    My partner used to just be a bit quite and tired, she used to go to bed early and say to me it's tired week

    I've read that when you had / have very mild pms symptoms before peri they can become 100 x worse when in peri

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