Positive Endoscopy Today- W/Throat spray- No sedation

hi all,

i just wanted to post a very positive experience i had this morning at the hospital because most peoples reviews that i've read have been bad/scary. i was dreading my endoscopy and was in tears last night and this morning with fear, i was very very close to cancelling today.

I should start by saying i have awful health anxiety, so anything to do with the hospital/clinical settings set me off and even having my blood pressure checked is a very big trigger of anxiety for me. i also don't like to take medications because i worry terribly about potential side effects, so the idea of sedation was a no for me because of the complications it can cause. i have never had surgery before or been into theatre, despite having multiple other tests in the past/scans, nothing seems quite as invasive as an endoscopy/colonoscopy - so i was very fearful! I had read other peoples horror stories on this also and it put more fear into me (i wish i hadn't done this, please don't do this)

I was first down at 8.30 because i am t1 diabetic, i hadn't ate since 9pm or taken any of my usual medications including omeprazole, i was starving with also some slight stomach discomfort from lack of tablet! i also hadn't slept properly and been awake with worry since 4am 😦 i was feeling like rubbish to be honest.

when i arrived they took me into a room for pre- checks, BP,pulse, temperature etc surprisingly my BP was in range- miraculously?! it never usually is- honest! and the nurse said she could tell i was very very anxious and tried to push me to have sedation, i told her i did not want this i want to be fully coherent and know what's going on, i want to be able to say stop if i want it to stop- i just want the throat spray. she wrote this down and when she was leaving she said "i wish you success... but you are very anxious" i said do you not think i'm going to be able to tolerate it?! (this did put more doubt into my mind about if i wanted to proceed!) and she said well i think you should have sedation you are very nervous. i still refused and thought i would try my best to push forward and try it without.

I was escorted into another waiting room and told the consultant would come and speak to me he called me in and he was so lovely, he really did put me at ease, he could see/i told him i was worried amd what i was worried about etc he said don't panic i will make sure you are ok and it will be fine! then I'm taken round to the procedure room/theatre (this wasn't as scary as i expected in my mind, imagining all sorts of scary tools and everyone in aprons!) a dimly lit room with a tv screen and a bed, it was a lot less sinister than i had predicted, he sprayed my throat 12 times with the spray, it didn't taste great and felt a bit burning and numb like at the dentist, but not as horrible. i had 2 nurses in there with me also who were very nice and supportive. they put the mouth guard in my mouth (which is solid/hard- i was expecting rubber! now i know why peoples teeth may be damaged!) and told me to 'go somewhere else in my head for a few minutes, you're at the beach!' i shut my eyes and next thing it was in, and i was expecting some sort of resistance in my mouth/to feel like i had this giant thing i had to swallow or would be expected to swallow, but that wasn't the case at all, it just slid down and i didn't even realise it had happened! it is not half as big as i was expecting, the doctor said where he was in my throat/stomach etc, which i found really helpful because it let me have an idea of how much longer i had to go and what he was doing, when he was in my tummy it felt like a weird sensation like when you go over a big bump and your tummy kind of 'flips' or 'drops' that kind of sensation, i assume that's when they are turning the camera around inside, it was not awful though it was just a strange sensation for about 2 seconds, then he was coming back out, it must have lasted about 1 minute and it was done. i gagged very slightly (i have certainly gagged a lot worse on a covid test or on making myself sick over the years if i have felt unwell to be honest) on the first bit when some air went in, and again very slightly on coming out, but it was so so mild, and i was so pleasantly surprised it was really fine. i was just making sure i was breathing in and out, i didn't really need to concentrate on anything, in my mind i was expecting to have to concentrate on not being sick or something but it is not like that, i didn't feel sick or like i was going to be sick at any point and you can breathe totally fine- i was worried about this most- what if i can't breathe!? but i assure you can just fine. they said i tolerated it fantastically and i think they were as surprised as i was that i done it and i sat there quite comfortably! i was the first patient of 100 this morning, so there are so many people having this procedure done every single day. please do not be scared about this.

i am so glad i did not get pressured into having sedation it was really not required, i was in and out of the hospital in an hour and that was including me sitting in the recovery room for about 25 minutes talking to a lady who was going for a colonoscopy. the whole procedure itself was a minute at most. i am so thankful to this doctor for being so lovely and understanding of my worries, i think it has made me a lot less scared now for other tests i may need to have. the fear is 100% worse than the procedure, i understand completely how terrifying the prospect of having this test done but it is OK and over before you know it. i feel so proud of myself that i've had this done when i was so close to calling and cancelling this morning. i will treat myself to a nice gift 😄 i just wanted to put this story out so people may have some reassurance, if i can do this then you certainly can 😃 sorry this has been so long! wanted to be detailed 😃

oh and my results were totally normal, everything looked fine- he even showed me a picture at the end on the screen- so i do not know what the cause of my stomach issues are- i have an abdominal scan on monday and maybe that will shed some light- perhaps gallbladder related.

take care

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