Possible PCOS and unreasonable boyfriend
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I have been with my boyfriend approx 10 years and as are very much in love and know 'one day' we want kids. However, lately I have been getting really concerned about fertility trouble as I have reason to be live I have PCOS but not diagnosed. Symptoms I have are the usual absent periods since coming off pill 8 years ago. Acne. Excess hair on face. Etc. Also my sister had similar problem although less sever symptoms and cysts were found on ovaries.
Feel like I am in a crossroads as a few years ago I got the usual baby broodiness most people get and asked boyfriend when can we have a family etc and his excuse was always when we have a house and more security. But its very confusing because for last 8 years we havent used any protection but obviously due to pcos cant concieve so this has probably been convinient for him.
Well last year we finally bought a house in a great place, my boyfriend has new secure job and my own career is doing really well. But now no mention of if or when he wants to start a family. I don't want to bring the subject up again - a few years ago I was practically begging him and was losing my mind/getting depressed from him not wanting to and I don't want to go down that path again!
Lately though I'm getting more and more worried. I'm 28 yo and he is 30 yo. If we were to try and concieve naturally it could take years and if doesn't work then we decide to go the drs for assistance to try conceive, there will be waiting lists and we are going to be getting older and older. This doesn't seem a problem for his as his own mum was 40 having him but I don't want to be an older parent with added stress of age related complications..I have no idea what to do. Do I wait for him to want a family and discuss trwatment with him, do i go the drs and get advice on my own and try to explain to him we are on a ticking clock and give ultimatum??
0 likes, 1 reply
jade53553 clair5302302814
Posted
Not sure where you are writing from clair5302302814 but my first bit of advice is to go to the doctors and get the blood test and ultrasound scan required to diagnose PCOS (in the UK).
To me this issue sounds more like a relationship problem. If you and He don't have shared life goals your relationship is bound to fail or make you unhappy. So Yes, you have to bring the subject up again!
If having Children is important to you then you need to be with somebody that is willing to give them to you and if your worries about your fertility are confounded then you need someone supportive by your side.
You do not need to give him an "ultimatum" just explain you think now is a good time to start at least talking about having children. Explain your fertility worries and that you don't want to be an older parent as his mother was.
Hope you work it out x