Post Anterior THR Surgery depression/grief
Posted , 16 users are following.
Hi everyone, I have been lurking on this group recently but wanted to see if other's could share their experience (possible solutions?) with post-surgery grief/anxiety/depression.
I am two days shy of being 5 week post anterior hip replacement. Physically I'm doing great now apparently (though not fast enough in my head!). I'm able to walk around the house without a cane although if I have to go out with my horses or go somewhere (dr., the store, PT) I need my cane cause my leg gets tired. I can do stairs normally now (though very slow - everything seems very slow!). I've been off narcotics since 2.5 weeks and am doing fine with just naproxen and some tylenol on those days when I feel a bit more sore. I can make my own meals, do my laundry, stand up in the shower again (finally), vaccuum, all that stuff. I have had lots of support from friends and family and even my work - I work in a nursing home and my physical therapist works there so she checks in with my manager to remind her that I'm not ready to come back to work yet so my job is totally safe.
But, despite how wonderful that all sounds, I'm still struggling with my emotions.
Right after surgery they gave me a med I had a very bad reaction too and I was in post-op longer than expected (4 hours) because my heart rate plummeted to 33 and my blood pressure was shooting up and shooting down. My surgery was Friday morning but my Saturday I was doing so well physically and showed I could dress myself, get to the bathroom with the walker just fine and go up and down stairs so they discharged me. But I was emotionally a wreck. I was absolutely terrified of everything and cried quite a bit the first day or so.
It started to get better, then around 2 weeks I developed cellulitis and that was terrifying too. They put me on one antibiotic but after 24 hours on it I was much worse so the dr. switched me to one that also covered MRSA and that's when I started getting better. So, that went away and I'm back to apparently doing physically great, but I still have this overwhelming fear of "what is next".
And it's rare I can go a day without feeling so sad I have to cry. I'm not even sure what I'm sad about, I just get this ovewhelming feeling of grief and start crying.
I have dealt with anxiety disorders and depression in the past and am on an anti-depressant, so I'm guessing this is just a reaction to the surgery. But I was also surprised by it. For most of my adult life once I thought I had a handle on my anxiety/depression I've been very independent and able to take care of myself and keep a positive attitude. So, it's been surprising to me how emotionally hard this all hit me.
Have others found that to be the case too? That it feels a little like PTSD?
2 likes, 23 replies
david07650 Guest
Posted
Hello. Just to say that whilst I haven't had your complications I have suffered post op anxiety/depression despite the physical side...e.g. healing of the Hip going really well. I had a TRHR 28 Feb. Am just about to start post op 7th week. Physically all good so far but still suffering from anxiety. It seemed to come fro nowhere towards end 1st week post op. In checking with GP then nurses back at hospital and via this forum, I understand this is quite a common reaction following the trauma of the surgery and the impact of various drugs. There may be some comfort in knowing this, I hope so but there are people who follow/contribute to this forum who have very helpful suggestions.
?I still have anxiety but it is lessening. In my own case I work hard to focus on the positives like you. This is hard work but does pay off as now positive things come into my head in a greater volume than the negative what ifs. I have also had some Reiki healing which I believe can help but it may not be for everyone. I also succumbed, wimp that I am, to some sleeping tablets from the GP about a week ago.... just so I could establish a normal sleeping pattern again. I have also fixed up a couple of sessions with a hypnotist where treatment for anxiety is the major part of her work.
?I am sorry not to have an exact solution but just to let you know there are many of us and to say how I have gone about handling this. I hope this is worth knowing but feel other forum members will be able to offer helpful suggestions. Very best of luck.Dave
Guest david07650
Posted
It actually helps just to know I'm not the only one going through this. My anxiety/crying just seems to come out of nowhere too. It does though seem to be getting better as time goes on.
I've been looking at therapists in my area and I'm thinking of trying one who does EMDR. My boss also suggested some crystals like amethyst and rose quartz so I got some bracelets of those and that actually makes me feel better - I don't believe so much in crystal healing but they remind me that my boss cares and wants to help. They have a good placebo effect.
linda35236 Guest
Posted
I have read that the reaction to anesthesia and drugs following orthopedic surgery can certainly cause mood changes. I personally feel that the physical limitations, pain, lack of control over the body and loss of independence can also cause depression. I am 6 weeks out and still have my moments of sadness. Mine though is because I have not had a successful surgery and ended up with more problems than I went in for. Also, have had not a lot of practical help and emotional support. Wow, you find out who your friends are when you are down and out right? I would recommend that this is the time to go the extra mile in your own behalf and find the things that comfort you and recognize the list of positives that can come out of this experience. Sometimes, it is better understanding of another's situation, or to discover talents or interests that come out of adversity. I cry almost every day as well, mostly out of frustration and anger that I find myself in this spot. I applaud you for reaching out and being pro active in your own best interest and recognizing this very little discussed (but, I feel quite common) reaction. I hope your next post finds you well around the corner from the dark side of ortho surgery. I will be rooting for you to find the silver lining to this part of your life. I wish I had more wisdom to impart to help. Best wishes.
bridget32982 linda35236
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Guest linda35236
Posted
I am curious too if it's not too personal why your surgery wasn't successful? I had terrible fears about that and especially with the cellulitis I was scared the infection would get in the joint (thankfully it didn't!).
I know what you mean about seeing who your friends are. I'm really lucky because I live with my husband and 14 year old and they have taken great care of me! And my friends put together a meal tree and brought us dinners the first three weeks and I have some friends helping me with my four horses. Even co-workers I didn't expect to emailed and texted me the first couple weeks to see if I was doing ok and say they missed me. But there are some others who just 100% disappeared. It's like they could've said, "Ok - you're not fun right now - I'll be back when you can entertain me and do stuff for me." I feel like they did me a favor showing me their true colors. No energy going into them anymore!
I'm hoping that you and I both find our silver lining as time goes on and we heal and we find ourselves feeling better than we did pre-surgery.
linda35236 bridget32982
Posted
Hey Bridget, I maybe should have chosen a different surgeon, it is a long story but I had my knee got damaged somehow during the hip replacement surgery. Had massive swelling and throughout the entire operated side. The knee is still not right. Without the knee right, tough to do hip re hab. I have been to pt faithfully and worked really hard and am really no better off than I was when I first was discharged from the hospital. Had 6 week check up and the doctor said the implant looks fine and his part is done. My knee was not a problem before and now I have a scar, hip pain, and precautions for dislocating, knee pain and am developing back issues I think from the hobbling around. I was told by the pt person that doctors consider it a successful surgery if everything is ok with the hip no matter what else happens. I am struggling every day with the demands of living and my spirits and so wish I might have just lived with the pain from before. At least I could walk for at least part of the day. I did have reservations before the surgery but was told by so many people that they wished they had done it earlier, it was the best thing they ever did, etc. and it was a minimal recovery. I am not saying it is the doctor s fault, sometimes things just happen, but he was very unsympathetic and brusque when i mentioned I did not have a knee problem before. I guess I am on my own to recover (or maybe not?) and figure it out. Have a great pt person which is great because I will probably be in pt a long time. This is not the cakewalk surgery that some people put out there in spite of the people dancing at day 5 and back to their life in a short time. I never thought this would happen to a young, (almost) motivated, fit patient such as myself. I just didn't.
kenbooth Guest
Posted
Guest kenbooth
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Thanks - it is good to know I'm not alone! And yes, now that I think about it I have been having big emotions the other way too, I've had tears of joy also and feeling overwhelmed by gratitude when a friend calls to check on me. It really does feel like everything is right on the surface - which is odd since I am usually a very stoic person.
Ducksoup Guest
Posted
Guest Ducksoup
Posted
That's interested you bring up open heart surgery because I just reached out to an old friend who had that a few months ago and he too is going through the same thing as me, though apparently more intense.
pam00470 Guest
Posted
hi,im sorry you feel so low,but its hardly surprising,your poor body has taken a battering,and sounds like you are like me-very independant,also your life seems very busy,with work and horses,along with all the ordinary stuff we all have to do,especially if you live alone ,as i do.theres also the desperate craving to be back to normal,and the frustration you feel when,like us both-youre not getting on as well as you think you ought to be! im sorry i cant be much help apart from to sympathise wholeheartedly,and to wish you well. I am ten weeks post op,now,theres just me and my three border collies,i have improved,and come on,but theres been lots of little hiccups and worries,and "one step forwards and two back"days,i also get very depressed,and feel lifes not worth living,often-then again i have good days.this site is really helpful,everyone is friendly and helpful,worth its weight in gold.best wishes,pam.
Guest pam00470
Posted
Oh wow - you are my hero doing this while living alone! I can't even imagine! I live with my husband and 14 year old and I was lucky my husband was able to work from home the first three weeks. And my son has been so sweet - he cheers me on when I'm walking and swears I'm walking faster than before (I'm probably not!) and the first two weeks he would come upstairs every night and eat dinner in bed with me. So, I feel like I have it so good I shouldn't be going through any grief/depression.
That feeling of "life is not worth living" is the worst, isn't it? Being laid up also hits home for me because I work in a nursing home with people who are permanently laid up. One thing that really got me was I have a friend at work who is in the assisted living section, he is completely paralyzed on one side from a severe stroke a few years ago and he's only 10 years older than me. He called to ask how I was and I said I was frustrated cause in my head I can still walk and function, but then I try and I can't very well. He said, "I feel the same way. When I dream I'm still walking and when I wake up I think for a moment I still can." And it really hit home that he will never be able to walk independently again and I will. And I shudder thinking of how I would find meaning in my life if I could not be mobile? I know I could but I'm so active (I'm always literally running around at my job, then I come home and I'm running around with my horses - and I teach therapeutic riding lessons and train horses on the side). But it can be done. It just has given me a perspective into something I guess I've really feared.
I hope those border collies of yours give you comfort! I have two big dogs and two cats in the house and the young kitten literally would not leave my side the first two weeks. The only time she left my bed was to eat, otherwise she wanted to be literally on me 24/7.
Julia
pam00470 Guest
Posted
that mustve been a very poignant moment,when you told your friend how you were feeling,i think you are a very sensitive and empathic-(is that a word?!)i mean you have empathy!,i used to work in a care home,it shocks me now to think im not that much older than some of the residents were,still-i dont feel it-mainly!I have my days when i feel pretty old!
yes,i wouldnt be without my dogs-really,theyre my life,and i cant wait to be able to give them the walks they deserve-we did an hour yesterday,so im creeping the time up gradually.
we will both get there,im sure.best wishes,pam.
Rocketman_SG6UK Guest
Posted
I also had problems when I returned to work, I felt I was a burden on my workmates as I had forgotten a lot about my very technical I.T. job in the 5 months I had to take off.
Take care, it is quite common.
Guest Rocketman_SG6UK
Posted
madla39168 Rocketman_SG6UK
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Yes you are right its roller coaster . Even me with second hip have day when im feel down ,upset depressed. I should know this from first hip replecement and be ready for emotions but it still come for no reason. I dont lucky have so much pain even pain canstill come but emotionaly im in more pain. Glad to know you went through this as well
Lots of love Madla💗💗
Rocketman_SG6UK madla39168
Posted
So sorry to hear you are suffering again, how quickly we forget what it was like the first time. I see posts now and it brings all those memories flooding back again.
After I found out my THR was not put in correctly, I was sort of prepared for the physical setbacks, but I never ever expected any emotional problems.
Lots of healing love
Graham