Post menopause relief !

Hi Liz, yes things do get better eventually - were all different and go through different stages and I think mentally it's very challenging as well as physically. I would never have believed in a million years that having a hysterectomy would be such a nightmare, nobody ever told me that for me it would ever have been this bad and it's been bad trust me. Right now I have good days and a few bad days im not completley there yet but it's better. Like I said most of the symptoms are much better, so many of us suffered this way - I'd like to see a man go through half of what we do ! People just don't realise how awful it can be but things do get easier, it's just time and sadly we can't change that. Good luck to you and keep strong x

Hi Michelle, I understand where you're coming from, at times I couldn't have cared less if my husband left me or not, I Havnt wanted him around me for a lot of the time, he gets on my nerves and irratates the hell out of me because he has no idea how ive been feeling, at times ive thought I would be better of without him, dealing with all this and with him ontop making things harder made me want him to clear off ! All these symptoms to deal with and a pathetic needy man who has no idea how you feel is crippling - why is is when they have a slight sniffle the whole world revolves around them and yet there's poor us who suffer all these dreadful symptoms and we're just supposed to carry on ! It's better now but my god there's been times where I just wanted him out of here - I just wish there was more help out there for women like us. Shame xx

same to you Lynda, things do and will get better, look around and see how many older ladies are out there enjoying life - they've all been through it aswell and survived just like you will xx

It will happen , I promise. Gradually you will feel better and there were so many times I wanted to scream out GIVE ME HRT but I never did, for some ladies it works miracles but I was too scared of the side effects despite them being very minimal. It's not easy in fact it's the most depressing awful horrible thing to go through and like I said before at times I really thought " I must be dying I feel so ill "......... and that's the honest truth, checking myself constantly, googling everything and convincing myself I have everything wrong with me and sinking into a depressive state over it too terrified to go to the doctor as I was convinced he'd tell me there was nothing they could do for me etc etc........ It's just awful, but things do improve slowly, very slowly - the doom and gloom will DEFINATLEY go away along with all the nasty symptoms, promise. All the best to you xx

When i go into a mental state where im feeling i cannot make it, i will look back on what you said.

I have turned to this site as my family and friends really do not understand what or how i am feeling.....so i keep a lot to my self. So again thank you for taking the time to share, what us woman are still learning.

All the best to you to :-)

Yes mentally it's very difficult. Try to stay as positive as you possibly can and I know that's the hardest thing - my health anxiety was Absoloutley through the roof, every single minute of the day and also pacing the floor at night with fear and dread, awful just awful - for months and months this went on until all of a sudden I started sleeping better, through exhaustion maybe I don't know, but more sleep means better coping mechanisms - and gradually things improve, the morning nausea has got better and lots of other symptoms too. Im not saying im 100% better and at times I still get quite anxious but I try to tell myself I'm still here and still surviving and so will you - it's a tough journey there's no dispute over that but stay strong and think of better times ahead, if you're at the bottom right now then the only way is up ! Xx

I also have health anxiety through the roof, and can completely identify with what you posted.  After my diagnosis and surgery last year, fear and dread set off other physical symptoms, nausea and diarrhea. I felt as if every ache and twinge was a harbinger of future death with terrible pain.   I am still having difficulty sleeping, lying awake with my mind aware in the darkness. But the fear has subsided for me mostly, too.  Thanks, so much! xx  

I've been there, health anxiety is terrible and I still have it to a degree it's learning to deal with it - when we finally realise that nothin bad has happened to us gradually the fear subsides, this is not a choice to be like this it's there and it's in our heads , it's just time that heals - I think it's all part of the process of healing physically and mentally , this is a huge trauma to deal with and I found the night times the worst and lonliest place to be, at times I would stand in front of the full length mirror analysing every single part of me crying, torturing myself examining every single lump and bump from my head to toes, inside my mouth looking for changes, neck - convinced of blocked arteries, breasts, armpits, stomach EVERYTHING - total total obsession that something somewhere wasn't right and death was just around the corner, it was absoloutley horrific to the point of almost breakdown - laying in a heap on the bathroom floor after going to the loo and examining that aswell, honest I know where you're coming from. I can't give answers but all I can say is I understand the pain and in time it will all be in the past and life really does become a happier place again xx

My husband thought that once I had my surgery and was staged at 1a that I would be able to say, "Well, that's over with!"  Especially because I didn't have to have radiation.  

My doctor told me that "statistically" my chances for a reocurrence were very, very slim.  I was so frightened that it took months after my follow up appointments to remember what was said during them.  I think I remember the last one, in March, completely and my surgery was in July 2016.

Again, thanks so much for writing about this!  We need to know we're not alone, in the dark. xx  

Aahh, I understand. Early days for you and you've had quite a trauma, it's in the past now and you can start your recovery - be kind to yourself and take it easy. Men don't get it mine was more concerned with when I'd be " back to normal" and we all know what that means - huh As If !! Xx

Ha ha, yes.  My remaining lady parts feel like a cheap paper bag.  It's difficult for the doctor to get a speculum in when he examines me.  He asks if "everything is going okay" and takes a look at my husband.  

I always smile and say nothing.  Fortunately, though my husband would like things to be different, he also has difficulties.  So getting back to normal hasn't been an issue for us for a while, but we're in our late (and I do mean late) 60's.  xx 

Oh tell me about it ! Mine sulks when he can't get ' his way ' which is never by the way ! Im not interested and that's all there is too it, like you say with the speculum I understand that, when I was having my regular scans and screeching in pain he just sat there yawning - and when I was discharged from the hospital the last thing the doctor said to me was " go home and enjoy normal relations "....... hahahahaha but then a man said that ! So I keep having that thrown back at me " the doctor said we can" ! ........ I sit here at night waiting for him to fall asleep on the sofa every night and when im sure he's out for the count I creep up to bed ! Uugghh it's so hard being a woman ! Xx

Well, sulking is certainly nothing new to me ...I don't know how I could be more clear.  I've described how I feel internally and told him I'm afraid of being injured, he seems to think that I should be willing to try. If something tears it won't be him, that's for sure.

At some point it happens to most couples who've been together for many years; one of them is unable to "perform." Well, if you love each other, I think that should make very little difference.  I wouldn't ask any man I loved to injure or bankrupt himself taking testosterone or ED meds. And, if I were a man, I wouldn't expect any woman I loved to risk injury to herself just for my own brief (and I do mean brief) pleasure.

It is so difficult to go through this! xxx