Potential MS diagnosis
Posted , 3 users are following.
Hi everyone, I've got to talk to somebody about this so I hope you'll forgive me for my rant.
I recently noticed that my left big toe was numb on the right hand side and that I also had a tingling sensation at times.
I thought this problem for a while and considered setting up some life insurance with critical illness cover just in case it turned out to be something nasty. I couldn't bring myself to do it though as that would mean delaying a trip to the GP for a few months at least and so after 2 weeks I spoke to my wife and we decided that I should go to the GP Straight away.
I went to the GP and she asked me a few questions and today I had a blood test for a whole range of things including Glucose, HDL Cholesterol, FSG, serum B12 and other things too. The results should be available next week but I'm in a living hell at the moment.
Since going to the GP earlier this week I have been incredibly tired and I had cramp in my right calf for a couple of days. I sometimes feel a little dizzy and I'm really concerned now that it might be MS or some similar condition. As I hinted before, I don't have critical illness cover so the big problem will be that my wife can't afford our mortgage on her own if I have to stop work in a few years. For an extra complication my wife is currently 6 months pregnant with our first child - a child that took 5 years and 3 rounds of IVF to produce. That was a male factor issue and having put my wife through those years of hell already I feel so bad about my current situation and can't see any way out of my predicament. I literally feel sick with worry and can't think of anything else. I can't concentrate on work so my productivity has reached almost zero! I can't even sleep properly. This morning I awoke at 4am and then couldn't sleep at all. I'm exhausted. At the moment I'm trying to keep the worst of my fears from my wife as I don't want to cause her any stress at the moment, but I guess it's only a matter of time before she has to face the same realisation as me. They say MS isn't a death sentence but it certainly feels like it. I want to be there to provide for my wife and child but I'm scared I won't be able to, and worse than that I will cause both of them so much stress and hardship.
I nearly phoned my Dad to discuss this with him this morning but couldn't bring myself to dial the number as I don't want to burden him with this information right now.
0 likes, 4 replies
littlemissfixit CharlieMike
Posted
Hi CharlieMike, you sound like you're in a pretty bad way at the moment, and whatever is affecting you is probably rendered worst by stress and worry.
Without adding to your trouble, and you probably know this already, conditions like MS and others are not diagnosed easily.
It is more likely to be something less sinister, but I know that does't help an awful lot. I know because I was where you are over a year and a half ago; numb toes, tingling, fatigue, etc, etc... I have had more blood tests than I can remember, neurologist appointments, mri, all that took months already and I am still without a diagnosis and with a condition that is progressing. I am not saying this to get you depressed, but to tell you that the only thing you can be in control right now is how you process the situation and how to decide to deal with things. When my GP mentioned MS, I freaked out, had never crossed my mind, thought I was low on some vitamin or something. But the choice I've made was to take just one day at a time and focus on the next step in my search for a diagnosis. Thinking of the financial situation you would find yourself in should you get handed a MS diagnosis is serving no purpose at the moment, other than probably feeding your symptoms. There are so many things that can cause those symptoms, but we do seem to focus on the ones that scares us the most.
If you can, forget the what if's that you cannot control. Concentrate on what the doctors are suggesting be done next. I sincerely hope that something comes back in your bloods that isn't serious. Limboland is not a nice place to be for months or years, and I have bad moments, but I decided not to waste the precious time dwelling on what could be, I'll deal with it when it comes.
Best of luck, and if you are googling be wise, only read the good stories, the others ones are of no help either!
amy71414 littlemissfixit
Posted
I totally agree! I'm 20 yrs old and am going through a very similar thing I have no diagnosis and have had numerous tests. Stress does not help at all it only makes it worse! In my opinion support from your family is what you need by the sounds of it. If It was my partner I would want to know what was going on regardless of the situation. My mum also has MS and she has been fine for the last 5 years. I wouldn't stress if you don't have a diagnosis I know it's hard not to believe me I do I have my moments also. All you have to do is find yourself a good specialist and a good neurologist and make sure you have support from your family trust me it helps to have someone with you at the appointments!
I wish you the best of luck and hope it's nothing serious! I guess it's times like these that make you realise what's important in life and how much we take for granted. Things happen for a reason! Even though it may not seem like it at times. Good luck again
littlemissfixit amy71414
Posted
you are amazingly full of sense and so wise for being just 20, if you don't mind me saying
I agree, since getting ill (after a bout of wasting my time searching the internet and worrying) I now play a lot more with my children and appreciate looking after them so much more. I was a very active person, very hard not to be able to go for a run anymore, or even a walk. Easier to look at the things you still can do!
CharlieMike littlemissfixit
Posted
Thanks for taking the time to reply, you're both an inspiration at this time. There's so much uncertainty here but you're both right. I need to try to focus on the positive, hope for the best and plan for the future.
?If my fears are realised then all I can really do is dig deep and try to pay off as much of my mortgage as I can, as quickly as I can for the sake of my family. And of course enjoy them too. I wish you both well.