Potential new relationship, abandonment issues
Posted , 3 users are following.
I've been seeing someone for a couple of months and he and i are equally as interested in one another. He expressed he was willing to wait for me to be ready so we could be in a relationship. Things had escalated very quickly, ie he shared those three little words. Recently, I'd been expecting to be out of touch for a while as I was busy with a commitment for a week, but I still managed to have contact regardless. He'd been a bit distant and said he was struggling with some things and needed some personal days. Being the horribly anxious person I am, I am fearing he is looking to reject me. I have told him I accept and respect his need for space and will be here for him when he is ready to come back. If he will come back, that is. My anxiety is telling me the personal space will be a good way of him keeping distance to a point where he just drifts away and we become nothing more than strangers or acquaintances. He's told me not to worry, he's just dealing with his own personal issues, but I'm heck worried. Could it just be as simple as he needs time for himself? I hate that I'm selfish about this.
1 like, 7 replies
stephanie61588 ria77848
Posted
This is a lot, from an externsl point of view.
Whether he will get back in touch, no one knows and you cant help wondering.
Only thing you can do is what you have already done, good for you. Leave it at thst for a week. Then you can try and get back in touch. Dont push it though.. My recent experience taught me that..
stephanie61588 ria77848
Posted
Try to give it a week or more, it is worth it!
ria77848 stephanie61588
Posted
stephanie61588 ria77848
Posted
I left him to it, checking up on him from time to time and he came back when he was ready, after a couple of weeks or so...
We then split up but it was due to other issues, still, I know if I had not pressurised him we might have gone a linger way together..
Whatever going through his mind, we dont know!!! Worth giving him space to sort it out though, he will appreciate you even more for it..
I know its bloody hard!!! But it goves you a bit of mystery too, you can always check up on him in a week and another one just so he knows you are open to discussion and available.. But not desperate..
ria77848 stephanie61588
Posted
yes, I suppose you are right regarding men being weird about that stuff. Looks like I might leave him for a bit and just hope for the best. Not knowing is always the worst. It also happens that my mind is a focused one and more often than not, on the wrong things. So rather than prioritise and work on things I should be doing, worrying about this and him is consuming all of my time
p.s. I hope things are better for you now and that you are happy be it in a new relationship or just enjoying your independence.
spin23052 ria77848
Posted
i had similar issues and made the conclusion the other person wasnt so into me because he didnt contact so much for a period. i was angry and decided i would tell him to stop seeing each other because i was very angry .
Of course i still wanted him and so he found a new girl and then that was it.
The interesting fact is that we talked after months and he told me he was in love too and that i hurt him very much.
So i would say to give some time without showing anger towards him .be patient .
sometimes things are not like movies or other relationships when everything is perfect an he calls everyday and sends messages. but it doesnt mean he is not interested in you.
Take care and try to make time pass more easily watch some series or listen to music .
Good luck !
ria77848 spin23052
Posted
And in love, too. Sincerely, what a shame. I hope you have found happiness now and this was long enough ago that it does not affect you anymore. I thank you for your advice, I wouldn't want to push him or guilt trip him or make him feel bad about what he needs. Just, the anxiety is eating at me lol. Thankyou for your advice.