PPPD for a year and a half, extremely depressed/ suicidal, please help
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I'm an 18 year old female and I've been living with this debilitating condition since November 2018. Long story short, I hit the top of my head very hard and got a mild concussion- I was told by the ER that I should be back to normal within a couple weeks. My life has been anything but normal since then. I've had blood tests, MRIs, CT scans, EEGs, every test imaginable- they're all normal. Every day I wake up feeling like I'm on a swaying boat. I'm always unbalanced, dizzy, and nauseous. I don't sleep well anymore- I have a lot of trouble going to sleep because of how severe the dizziness gets. Melatonin does not help at all. Within the past two weeks, I've become dramatically more sensitive to head and eye movement. I've been going to vestibular therapy since December 2019 but I feel like it has not helped at all. When I do the exercises I feel worse, and this lasts for weeks. I've written to this forum before and since my last post I've had virtually no progress. I tried a few SSRI's (lexapro, zoloft, and prozac). The only one that semi-worked was zoloft but I got extreme, nagging nausea from it as a side effect so I stopped taking it. I mentioned in my last post that I've been feeling quite suicidal because of this- that has definitely not gotten any better. I envy other people my age that are free of this condition. I feel like I'm losing my life to this. If I keep going on like this, my days are numbered- I literally cannot do this anymore.
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Emis_Moderator courtney3567
Posted
Hi courtney3567,
We note from a recent post which you have made to our forum that you may be experiencing thoughts around self-harm. If we have misinterpreted your comments then we apologise for contacting you directly. But if you are having such thoughts then please note that you are not alone in this, and there are people out there that can help.
If you are having these suicidal thoughts then we strongly recommend you speak to someone who may be able to help. The Samaritans offer a safe space where you can talk openly about what you are going through. They can help you explore your options, understand your problems better, or just be there to listen.
Their contact details are on our patient information leaflet here: https://patient.info/health/dealing-with-suicidal-thoughts, which also offers lots of other advice on how you can access the help you may need.
If you are having such thoughts then please do reach out to the team at the Samaritans (or the other people detailed in our leaflet) who will understand what you're going through and will be able to help.
If you are based outside of the UK.
The Samaritans is a UK based charity, but they also have suggestions for how you can access help in other countries.
Please have a look at this page https://www.befrienders.org/directory
Patient