Pregnency issued for epilepsy patients

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Hi all! My name is kavitha , My husband avoiding me & asking for a divorce as i have epilepsy and the he is telling me that if epilepsy patient gives birth to child it will be handicapped sad is it true?

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16 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Kavitha,

    Epilepsy can be hereditary in some cases, as in you could pass it on to a child, but the chances are low. Being handicapped though is not true at all.

    Epilepsy can skip generations as well, so if you have got it, your child may not get any form of it in their life time, but it could appear further down the line in other generations. In most cases there is usually an underlying problem to cause Epilepsy in the first place, so wherever your husband heard that from is not true at all,

    Regards,

    Les.

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    • Posted

      Hi Kavitha,

      As I stated the chances are low with only one parent having Epilepsy, however this does increase if both parties suffer from Epliepsy.

      A typical example is me, I have had Epilepsy for over 30 years and still not under control, yet I have three children aged 25,20 and 15 - none of which have Epilepsy. I have regular seizures so in theory - you would have thought it would be more so in my case.

      You can find more information at this location:

      https://patient.info/health/epilepsy-a-general-introduction

      Hopefully you can change is mind or if you are worried, visit your doctor first - I did with my wife before having children, just to be safe.

      Regards,

      Les.

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    • Posted

      Where is your husband getting such information from? Regardless, of where you go - the answer will always be the same.

      I cannot understand why he is avoiding you totally though, I have to see Consultant Neurologists and Epilepsy Specialists every 3 months. On average I have seizures 2-3 per month, some requiring me to be taken in to hospital.

      The chances of me passing it down to our children was much higher, but not as it would have if both myself and wife suffered from it.

      Regards,

      Les.

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    • Posted

      Yes sir ! i do consulted my doctor , iam totally under control as i stated  i dont have any other problem this, Even my husband is health, he dont have any heath issues,i was not able convince my husband he is not even coming to talk to my doctor regardign this he is trying for divorce.
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    • Posted

      Hi Kavitha,

      Surely, he knew you had Epilepsy prior to you getting married?

      I cannot understand why he would not want to sort out this matter with your doctor. That seems way over the top to divorce you on such a insignificant manner, it is not your fault that you have Epilepsy. There are many people that suffer from Epilepsy walking around you everyday, but filing for a Divorce on such trivial grounds is very bad, since he will not even go to the doctors with you.

      It would be more understandable if you had the disorder to a very high level and uncontrolled even on medication. I am on medication as well, but my medication will be under review from the beginning of February.

      I do not know how you can persuade your husband to change his mind, he obviously does not care for your feelings, regarding having children or he would not be filing for Divorce over a matter that could be easily fixed by a visit to the doctor.

      I hope he does not go that far, it's a shame - he seems to have an adamant nature, regardless of how you feel. I hope he will change his mind or someone that knows him well as a chat with him before taking such drastic action.

      Kavitha, I wish you well - you can show him my posts because we have 2 boys and a girl, none of them have anything wrong with them whatsoever. I hope he takes a look at the situation from a different perspective.

      All the best and regards,

      Les.

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    • Posted

      Hi Kavitha,

      I must agree with Deb then, there must be more to why  he wants a Divorce, it just cannot be down to you and Epilepsy after I pointed out the facts and statistics, and like you just said you last seizure was over 18 months ago. Even the DVLA gives you your licence back, if you have no seizures for 12 months.

      You could ask him about counselling, if he denies that - then it is obvious he has "no love" towards you anymore. Sad really, he's blaming you when in fact it sounds like hes looking for ways out of a marraige.

      I got married to my wife nearly 26 years ago, I had Epilepsy back then and a lot more health issues, even now I'm on 30+ tablets a day! My wife has never had second thoughts about marrying me, and we still love each other dearly. Okay, we have the odd disagreenent now and then, but that's normal in any relationship. My wife cares for me 24/7, which is a full time job...

      As Deb mentioned you really need to question where his loyalties lie, it is quite obvious it is no longer with you. In the end, it will be his lose, not yours, and using your so-called health condition as an excuse is not really an excuse to divorce you, to me that is ridiculous.

      See, how it goes following Deb's post - see where his intentions really lie.

      All the best,

      Les.

       

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  • Posted

    Kavitha.....   I feel you should be thinking and questioning closely, your husbands loyalty and love for you.   He must be simply looking for an excuse to end the marriage.  A Genuine Husband or Genuine Wife would continue to love and value their partner in their marriage.    If he cannot continue to love you 'regardless of any health issue/s'.  Then he doesn't deserve your love and loyalty.  

    I'm sorry to point out the obvious, but I think you do know and feel the truth of your situation.  

    I would hope that maybe 'somebody' could try talking some sense into your husband.  Like even a Marriage Counsellor.  Otherwise if he won't see sense, and still insists of ending your marriage.  Then he is the loser.  He will lose the better half who loves 'him' warts and all.   

    There will be someone else out there who will LOVE YOU regardless of your wee health issue..  Bless you Kavitha...  I wish you ALL the Very BEST of the BEST going forward.  And do try not to stress, Stress brings on ill health.  You need your strength for YOU..  BIG HUGs Kavitha...

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    • Posted

      He knows about this before marriage ours is love come arrange marriage so he knows but his parents dont know as he requested us to not to inform to thier parents as they may oppose for my marriage,

      But now unfortunately he is holding this as my weekness & scaring me that he will inform to his parents sad

      But my doctor said this disorder wont stand for divorce

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    • Posted

      Maybe!!!!....You could think about telling the 'truth' to his parents...Telling them that 'he said not to let on to them of your epilepsy, and that he is now trying to use it against you, threatening divorce.  Inform them what the medical professionals have told you, and tell his parents that he still will not listen to you, nor partake in the meetings with your doctor.  That he is deliberating being evasive, and definitely not willing to see sense on this issue, and that you need their help to talk sense to him'...   See what his folk have to say about that lot and let his folk 'Deal to him.  You could also maybe, ask them to ask him what his 'Real reason is for wanting a divorce!'.....

      If this comes out to his parents though, would you, or could you ever be in any danger?  If you ever think for one minute that your situation could turn volitile, you must inform the police of your fears, or at least talk to someone and let them know of your fears.

      I only wish to point that out 'Just incase'...  as even in New Zealand we experience violence against women. Some cases are fatal.  

      Just whatever you do keep safe.  Walk well away from the home and him if you are ever in a fearful state.

      I just hope that your situation can be sorted out for you both with some 'good common sense counselling, and proper medical information discussed so your husband can be 'Educated' on your Epilepsy.

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  • Posted

    If you are taking an anticonvulsant medication such as Depaote while pregant, you definitely increase your chances of having a child born with a birth defect. If your husband is avoiding you sexually and not willing to accompany you to the doctor to discuss these concerns, then sorry.... he's being selfish. If he's not being an understanding and supporting husband now, can you count on him for support if you ever did have a child born with a birth defect or developmental disability?
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  • Posted

    This is a very sad situation Kavitha. I feel for you. It is best that bpth of you see a good medical person of counselor and have an open discussion about the whole matter. If he still insists on divorce then it is best to let him go his way cos it means he doesnt care anymore and you dont need someone who doesnt care for you. It is better to be realistic now and take the right decision than to prolong it for later and suffer the consequences. There are lots of kind and compassionate human beings on our planet for you start all over again. I wish you the best.
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  • Posted

    Hi! I have a healthy and happy 1 1/2 year old. (I've had nocturnal epilepsy since age 4). He has nothing wrong with him. I had a great pregnancy. I was on Lamotrigine which I was told is one of the safest drugs for pregnancy. Take care - Sarah
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