Premanapause.feel like im going crazy

I have anxiety, in perimenopause for 3yrs now, 50yrs old. Suffer from Panick attack, fear of illness, have developed high BP,  bad headaches. All this is soooo overwhelming. I know how u feel.

HIya aishling.. yes I too understand what you going through, and it’s crappppp,

I’m 53 and been going throught  this so called crap for 4+ years now, I went 8months without a period last year ( yeah) throught not long left for my one year without a period, but dam it once’s again it came, but every month I still have/ had the stomac pains and bad aches your saying about...so really just another symptom of the rubbish menopause, along with every symptom in the book, I seem to be going through, a new one pops up nearly every day 🤨..

The thourts your having, once again is the norm, mine started about a year ago, I even wrote a letter to each of my daughter (2) to be read only when Iv gone, as I live alone, and even tho they know I love them, I wanted to write it down, now how stupid I’m I 🤔..... 

so yeahhhhh it’s crap what we have to put up with us woman, I can’t have HRT, and I’m on antidepressants which thank god is a great help in my mood, and also my doc said would help with hot flushes, and you know what, he was right, the hot flushes have gone, and so as my depression ..

I always thourt that the menopause was just hot flushes and weight gain, well how bloody wrong was I, it’s every thing that can be thrown out our body’s and more...

So your not mad or on your own, just what us woman have to put up with, the crap menopause 🤗x

Hi your symptoms are very similar to mine. I was sick with worry thinking I was in early stages of dementia or had a brain tumour but after I visited Dr she said it was commotion feel like this in menopause. I have other symptoms to and felt like it can't be all the menopause but seems like it is. Also things I have known how to do for yrs like dancing driving I feel like I'm forgetting how to do them, and I get strange pains in places I've never had them before. I've lost my mum and dad and sister and like you worry about dying and other family dying too. When I do finally sleep the dream are dreadfull. The dr says the hrt should help . Let you know x

Hi. You are not alone. I have experienced many of the feelings you have. Hopefully this site will give you some comfort

Hi Aishlin, yes I went through the same last 3 yrs or so, periods stopped 2 yrs ago. Xmas before last anxiety went through the roof and i was having looping panic attacks, adrenalin dumps, palpitations, was wide awake pacing around wondering whether to ring for ambulance, ringing Samaritans (i live alone), didnt sleep in bed for weeks. First i went on betablockers that stopped the adrenalin dumps, so i didnt get full on panic attacks, then i asked for sonething fir the terrible anxiety and got sertraline. Hell for first couple months due to side effects, lots better at 3 mths, mainly well by 6mths. I still get occasional anxiety and palpitations / flutter but have learnt to respond differently and it passes. I also had some cbt/ talk therapy which helped and 2mg diazepam for especially stressful times. I left my job of 25 yrs and am back to looking for a job, basically taken a year out. Though it feels so horrible, it is very common in meno. We will get through it but who knew how hard and life changing it could be? Worst time of my life! Its hormonal and chemical changes, no reflection on how strong we are. In fact it takes a very strong person to deal with this, seek help, be open to people about whats happening and why and have faith that at the end of it you will have you back, only better! After 8 mths on sertraline i flew to oz for 3 mths, which id never had courage to do before or during the hellish first few months on the pills, then xmas i went on caribbean wedding cruise, which id been anxious about for 18 mths. Couldnt afford either but after such an awful past couple of years i decided to grab every opportunity no matter how scary! Now to find work, pay off my debts and save towards my next great experience. Its helped me to live in the moment, be open to new experiences and (mainly) curb my negative health anxiety thinking.  I Lapse sometimes but I won’t let myself get back into that circle of negative thoughts, anxiety, panic attacks. Hrt alone might work for some, wish id tried it before the other meds but doc kept saying too early to pin it all on menopause. In fact they didn’t test til 18 mths after last period, by which time i was so bad they put me straight on antidepressants (for anxiety). I believe that quicker intervention with hormones could have spared me an horrendous 6 mths and loss of earnings! So to all you ladies, get help, the earlier the better and don’t be fobbed off with ‘it’s to early to say’. Its not, its a simple blood test. 

Hi. I have never been on a forum in my life. So shall tell you a bit about me to help join in this crazy world of menopause. I have a truly wonderful life, have an amazing husband of 25years who is my best friend, soul mate and confident   We don’t have any children by choice. All our friends see us as the perfect couple.  Soooo. What on earth do I have to  concern myself about then   We’ll since starting the menopause about 3 years agp I gave up a job aferr 11 years that I loved and gave me a sense of purpose.  I wasn’t a high flyer by any stretch but the people I worked with were wonderful. They saw a change in me. I was miserable unhappy and moaned more than was normal for me!  So with a heavy heart I decided to leave and go part time.  This has been a struggle. Anyway my moods are like a tsunami nowadays. From absolute love of life to feelings of suicide. I question every decision I have made In my life. From not having children, not having a best friend on the doorstep, leaving my job,not exercising, feeling thick In this wolrld of technology to days of “just can’t be bothered”  I worry about the age gap of8 years between my husband and I, worry about money when I don’t need to, worry about anything really. You name it I worry about it.  I am taking citalopram but who knows if that is working. Today about 4pm I put myself to bed, watched Tv then slept just to stop the anxiety rushing around in my head. I am going to start keeping a mono pause diary as I am convinced tthat these Dark days are monthly when I would normally have had a period. Who knows?  I do talk to my pals but when I fell “up” again I can’t remember what this was like to feel that dark so they must think I am a fruit loop. The Inner critical voices Are the worst. You wouldn’t talk to anyone else in the way you internally talk! I have put all this down hoping that it will help you gals with symptoms.we all know it will pass but a problem shared and All that. 

Here is is a list of things I experience to help you 

internal shaking when I wake up in the mornings

anxiety

Feelings of dread and doom especially in the morning

internal worrying

cant be bothered with anything

not wanting to socialise

flitting from one thought to anohter

concentation

remembering things

 multitasking - can’t do it anymore 

comparing my life with others and feeling worthless 

so ladies there we go. We are not are not alone in our suffering but this forum is great for sharing xxxxx