Pressure Headaches, Clogged Ears, Stiff Neck 2 years

Hi Evergone!

As you can see by my name, I have anxiety. It all started 9 years ago when my father commited suicide. I was only 21 at the time. My anxiety didn't hit right away, it slowly crept up on me over the years. I used to smoke a lot of weed growing up. But I had to stop because it only made it worse whereas before it used to be an escape for me. Things were going pretty well until an old childhood friend of mine, my best friend growing up, also commited suicide. That was 2 years ago. And that really hit my anxiety hard. I was super depressed. Had breathing issues. Couldn't sleep for days. And started getting debilitating headaches. I lost my job because I could no longer concentrate because the headaches were so bad. Shortly after the headaches I started to get a weird sensation in my ears like they were ALWAYS full. I got a CT scan, saw an ENT specialist and both told me that I was fine and that it was my anxiety. ... ever since then my ears have NEVER stopped being clogged. I pop them every day. And some days are worse than others. And some days the headhaes are worse than others. Truthfully I just started living with it because I didn't know what else to do. But in the last couple weeks it has gotten so bad. My head hurts so much I can barely think straight. I get up to walk around and I feel just 'off'. Like I need to lay down. And of course my anxiety takes me to the worst places. I'm not on my anti-depressants anymore because they made me feel suicidal and like I was a zombie. And then it's about finding the right ones for me, but I can't lose my job again. I finally have a great career. And now these headaches pop up again. All I can think is that I'm dying. That I have something like a tumor. It's all I think about (along with constantly popping my ears). I went back to the doctors a couple days ago and was prescribed a steroid nasal spray. And also told to use a nedi pot (the sinus flush) before the nasal spray each time to clear anything out and then spray. I know anxiety and depression can create physical sensations that are REAL. But what if I really have ETD? (Eustachian tube dysfunction) which is something to do with the middle ear and the pressure in your head because it is not right. And maybe this anxiety is only making it worse? How do you actually figure this stuff out? Do I go for another CT scan? What if I have something now that I didn't have 2 years ago in the first scan? It's just really scary. And I'm only 30 and I just want to feel normal again. Anyone have a similar story? Or anything at all? Please

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