Primary Outbreak, Please help! :(

Posted , 7 users are following.

Okay so sunday night (12.20.15) I started getting flu like symptoms and had a fever of 101.3. I had an achey back, neck, legs, and I had the cold sweats, etc. Surprisingly I didn't notice any itching/tingling like most people say they do before an outbreak, but then again, this is my first so I probably just didn't pay attentions. 

Alright so my past. I've slept with one guy only. We were together for 2 1/2 years and I did love him. Apparently he either lied to me about me being his first, or he cheated on me. We broke up in the beginning of August and haven't talked since. We broke up because he was going away to college and whatever. 

So sunday night I just felt crappy, but didn't notice anything unusual except when I wiped I kinda noticed like it felt like i had a small tear at the bottom near my vaginal opening. I just thought I may have cut it some how and didn't really pay much attention or check it out.

Come monday morning (12.21.15) I woke up and peed and wiped to excruciating pain. I checked down there with a hand mirror and saw all sorts of little brown blisters around my vaginal opening and labia. I cried because I knew it had to be herpes. What else would it be? I was super scared because i'm only 18 and I didn't want my mom to be disgusted or mad at me. So I cleaned it the best I could with a cold washcloth, still had flu-like symptoms, rested all day, took ibuprofen, and hoped for the best. The very next morning (12.22.15) I could barely walk. I was in extreme pain and I had a large brown blister about a half an inch in length. The rest were around my vaginal opening. I called my mom up and cried to her and she got me an appoitment with my OBGYN immediately and I was seen within the hour. They took a urine sample because I was peeing blood, took a sample of the sores (extrmemely painful) and a blood test. I got my prescription for antivirals. When my doctor told me that yes, it looked like GH to her I started balling in the office and she was sweet and tried to comfort me. I took the medication starting Wednesday (12.23.15) and took them 5 times a day. I followed the instructions and didn't miss one pill. Yesterday was pretty bad. I can't pee without screaming. It's like its taking your breath away. Yesterday my sores were covered in a yellow-blister like fluid unlike how they were previously brown-looking. Very painful. Have a hard time walking. It's hard to keep the ones closer to the inside clean because its a moist area and I don't want to touch the area directly with a cloth or wipe. I thought yesterday was bad though....but compared today...not even close. Today, (12.24.15.) (Yeah. Merry Christmas to me, right? *sigh*) I woke up with the one sore that was a half an inch long starting to peel the surface off, which is digusting and painful. I try not to touch them directly and I make sure I wash my hands a lot. However, now the ones that were grouped around my vaginal opening have turned into another long single open sore, no fluid cover. It is sooooo painful I can't  even walk. I had to fill up the tub and pee into it and even that hurt so bad it took my breath away. So now I have two long lesions and a couple tiny ones and I feel like I'm going to die. I hate this. This is the worst pain I have ever been through in my life. I did not deserve this. I did not deserve to be cheated on or lied to. I haven't gotten my test results back but I already know. Any advice on how to cope with going to family parties and acting like i'm not excrutiating pain??? sad 

2 likes, 33 replies

33 Replies

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  • Posted

    I'm sorry you are dealing with that. sad

    I swore I had herpes but I keep testing negative for it. I'll be retested yet again in Feb. I think you are doing all of the right things. The tub thing and all of that. Try to keep yourself dry as much as possible down there. I hope things heal as quickly as possible for you! I'd call your ex and ask him what happened. Id be lived if my first time boyfriend gave me something. Amazing! Prayers to you! Try to keep your chin up!

    • Posted

      Thank you! And good think you keep testing negative. What makes you think you have GH even though you keep testing negative, if you don't mind me asking?
  • Posted

    Know that you are not alone.  And, that the antivirals will help.  

    Family parties -- they will be tough, obviously.  Can you miss them, and blame the fever/flu?

    You write really well -- consider journaling/blogging to help cope with both the physical and emotional aspects. 

    And you are correct -- you did not deserve this.  No one does.  

    • Posted

      Thank you!

      No I will not be able to miss the family parties, nor do I necessarily want to because it's Christmas and that's about being with family and such. Hopefully being around people will help me take my mind off things!

      Thank you for my comment about my writing! I do actually have a blog that I started a little over a month ago. (:

      Yes absolutely, no one deserves this. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. I feel horrible for anyone going through this. It's also sad there's such a stigma about so I can't really tell anyone except my mom. It probably makes many others feel really lonely, so thank god I found this website. It's been extremely helpful. Happy Holidays!

  • Posted

    Oh, that sounds terrible and super painful!! And just in time for the holidays, too. Really sorry you're having to go through this. sad

    It is quite unusual to have what sounds like a very bad first outbreak so many months after your bf. Anything's possible with GH, but that is strange. Your doctor didn't suspect anything else? Not that I know what else it could be!

    Anyway, until you have the results and know for sure, look after yourself. You might want to try occasionally soaking in a shallow tub of Epsom salts and dusting the lesions with cornstarch to help dry them out. Take ibuprofen or paracetamol for general pain and/or topical lidocaine for local pain.

    As for family gatherings, it's not ideal, but just say you have a tummy bug or something. I'm still going to wish you an early merry Christmas, even though I'm sure it doesn't seem particularly merry to you right now. Hope things start to clear up for you soon!

    • Posted

      Merry Christmas to you too! I'm managing the pain now, the worst part is the oozing and clean up. My doctor said it looks like herpes but many things can mimick it, she actually had another doctor come in for a second opinion, I'm not sure what that means, but hopefully it means that it might not be since she couldn't really recognize it so easily on her own. Wishful thinking, I know but I honestly have been praying so hard for it not to be. I pity anyone who's had to go through this!
  • Posted

    That does sound sooo painful I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this 😔

    A lot of people don't know that they have herpes, because they never have syntoms or their syntoms are mistaked for other conditions. If your ex had a history of getting cold sores on his mouth, and gave you oral it's possible you got it that way, even if he didn't have a cold sore at the time. If that's the case a lot of people tend to over look oral herpes & fail to realize it can still spread to the genitals. It's possible that your ex spread it to you and just didn't know he had it himself, ot doesn't necessarily mean that he cheated or intentionally lied about it-but, I think it's best not to dwell on that. Or at least think about it later. ❤️

    Family gatherings probably seen impossible right now, but if you can't get out of it is suggest just being as comfortable as possible. Loose cotton underwear were better when I had my first outbreak, they didn't rub on the sores as much when I walked around. Just know that youre the same person as you were before your diagnosis, but with a skin condition in a reall unfortunate place. Your first outbreak will end, even if it feels like forever, and the following ones shouldn't be as bad at all. 💝

    • Posted

      I don't know, I would love to think he didn't cheat on me, and hopefully my results come back as either negative or type 1, but in the years we dated I never saw him have even one cold sore, and if he did have one I would never let him perform oral on me. I mean it's still possible and I didn't really consider that until you said so so let's keep our fingers crossed that's what it is!
    • Posted

      I hope so! I never knew my boyfriend was a carrier until my first outbreak when he told me he used to get cold sores on his mouth. I've never seen him with one but here I am now with it! Wish you the best of luck x
  • Posted

    Thank you all, it's really helped. What should I do about oozing sores? Should I just keep cleaning them? I feel like they are non stop oozing and its super disgusting. The worst is waking up in the morning and having to take care of that mess. Ugh. 
    • Posted

      Epsom salt bath and cornstarch as above. Should help provide relief and assist with drying/healing. Good luck!
    • Posted

      Thank you. I'm going to do an Epsom salt bath. I actually have some around the house. I was scared though because the sound of the salt going on my open sores seemed like the opposite of what I'd actually like to do, but obviously you guys would know from more experience so I will do that. Kind of nervous about the cornstarch too, isn't it difficult to get off and doesn't it get really goopy when mixed with the lesion that's draining??
    • Posted

      Cornstarch is actually suggested by ASHA/Westover Heights herpes specialist Terri Warren. Should come off with water and it's good to rinse down there every now and then anyway to keep it clean (like when peeing to also ease the pain). Just pat dry afterwards. I used disposable kitchen towels for that purpose. Thicker and can throw them away. Panty liners/pads, as noted by another person, actually irritated me.
    • Posted

      Okay I'll definitely try that then. And yes, hated the pads, tried those yesterday and they just set up right against the sores and were uncomfortable. 
  • Posted

    I also am newly diagnosed but my first outbreak has gone.

    My 'non expert' opinion would be to just leave the sores alone if you can. I found wearing a panty liner was more comfortable and less friction than just underwear. And then you can change them often and easily. For me after a few days on meds it seemed like it would take weeks for the sores to vanish but then on day 3 or 4 I woke up and they were basically gone 😊

    I feel for you I know its awful to go through x

    • Posted

      What was your first outbreak like if you don't mind me asking? If like to know if what I'm dealing with is similar to others primary outbreaks. (Sores, look, pain wise, etc.) Thanks for being so helpful! I appreciate it!
    • Posted

      Perhaps not quite as bad as yours as I didn't have a fever or anything

      I had scattered ulcer type sores not really blisters or clusters - maybe about 10 of them at the worst point. I went on the medication within a week of exposure. It was still painful to sit/move/exist!

      I'm on once a day suppressive medication now to prevent further outbreaks while I'm still struggling with the news

      The reason I think not to touch the sores is so you don't contaminate other parts of your body and so you don't irritate them further.

    • Posted

      Mine are like open sores and super painful now. I don't really touch the sores at all, just try to keep the area clean and dry so the goopy stuff doesn't create more sores and doesn't irritate it. I don't even think I could clean the sores directly even if I tried, they are so painful. I also make sure to wash my hands every time I do that and I just cleaned the bath tub with oxyclean after taking my Epsom bath. Lol. I'm just trying to figure out what's best to do. I'm slowly learning I think. 
    • Posted

      That sounds so horrible, what with the oozing and all! Mine were not like that, so I can't even imagine. If this is herpes, I'd put my money on it being Type 1, as that usually causes more severe first outbreaks, then little else, if anything, afterwards. Sounds like you have read up on things and are handling it well, all things considered, which is good.

      Btw, once they are less oozy and painful, and especially if they become itchy, you can try applying diluted tea tree oil, but definitely not now, as that would burn! Just something to bear in mind for later. I used it during my first outbreak and loved the stuff, even now on occasion.

    • Posted

      Thank you, I actually have tea tree oil too. I usually put those on pimples so they heal quicker. That's a good idea. And yes, I really hope it's type 1 because that seems to be the better of the two, even though both aren't really good situations. Do you have 1 or 2? Is there actually a big difference?
    • Posted

      There is quite a difference, mostly in terms of outbreak frequency, infectiousness and associated risks. Both types suck, but I'd honestly want Type 1 if I had to choose. I have Type 2. Fml, lol.

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