Problems with change
Posted , 3 users are following.
I have been on citalopram 6 mths now on 30mg and been very up and down. I have just spent a month abroad doing yoga teacher training and despite my anxiety I got through it and had an amazing time. Since being home I have woken up with terrible morning anxiety, sleeping loads and feeling really low. Any sort of change seems to really affect me and not sure what to do and if my dose needs increasing to 40.
0 likes, 11 replies
johmac beckylili
Posted
Hi Becki
I'm no expert but i hear that any changes of routine can sometimes get things out of balance. Maybe just the adjustment of being home after a nice time has got things a bit unbalanced again. I'm new to a/d's so I would not give advice about increasing unless your dr says so. Maybe others can give better advice but it maybe one of the blips that are so common with the a/d. Jo x
liz61542 beckylili
Posted
Hi Becki I've been following your threads for a while now and knew you were going away to train as a yoga teacher. Sounds like you had an amazing time and proof that your anxiety can be ameliorated in the right circumstances. Coming home you will be experiencing the same triggers that caused your anxiety in the first place and this is where the changes you need to happen permanently have to take place. It's a long journey isn't it? The meds definitely help but they're not an end in themselves. I know this from my own experience. You are doing really well becki. Keep going. What can you do next to maintain your recovery? What do you need to further change? How can you do it? Hope you are feeling a bit better from when you posted. Best wishes
beckylili liz61542
Posted
Aww thank you soo much that means a lot. Coming home from yoga training really opened my eyes that primary teaching isn't for me and my anxiety has been so high at the prospect if going back to it so been in turmoil the last few weeks. I happened to start dog walking during my break and have been offered to work for her and that thought made me feel so much better as could teach yoga too and training in reiki. It is a big gamble and money not so good but life is for living and been so ill. What do you reckon? Howcare you doing?
liz61542 beckylili
Posted
Hi becki didn't know you were a teacher. I am also but teach GCSE English and A level. My son is a primary school teacher and he is overwhelmed by the amount of planning he has to do. He didn't go out socially for most of last year so I completely understand why you have been poorly. Unless you could go
Back on reduced hours or duties I would seriously reconsider changing direction as you are doing. Dog walking sounds great as it will give you loads of exercise always good for anxiety and teaching yoga won't bring in loads of money but will give you control over your life and contentment. Why don't you try it for a year? You can always go back to teaching if you want to you have skills for life with that and there are always loads of vacancies. But if you can afford to give yourself a year off trying new opportunities why not?
beckylili liz61542
Posted
It is sad isn't it that teaching has become like that? I was deputy head and safeguarding lead and got far too much. I have a new job starting in 2 weeks but caused me such high anxiety since home as not what I want so asked to go part time before signing a contract as like you said not right for me at the moment and can build up my kids yoga business and reiki whilst dog walking etc.
I hope your gcse results were good x
liz61542 beckylili
Posted
Hi becki. You sound like you are doing the right thing to go part time. Will you have any management responsibilities? You may find that those hours suit you a lot better and you can probably pick up more dogs when you're more known for walking them and build up a different career gradually. Have you spoken to your new head about your vulnerabilities or did you not want them to know? Understandable if you didn't. If it had been straightforward going back to work after sick leave you could have staggered your return. Maybe worth a discussion if you haven't already had it so your school is in the picture? Hard call if you've not already made it.
As for me I haven't worked for a few months as I had an accident which has caused my depression and am still waiting for surgery ( my arm). The NHS is in a mess and waiting lists are long. However I taught a couple of kids at home to keep my hand in and also get to grips with new syllabus and they both did well. That was really good news for them and for me and both of them got what they needed to go to further ed colleges ( grades 5 and 6).
beckylili liz61542
Posted
Hi. I have no management responsibility at all as broke me before and have emailed today and been very honest that I have to do part time because of anxiety. It is a job share anyway. I can then do yoga and dog walking too as have lots of dog work anyway and 3 yoga classes possibly then reiki so bit of everything.
I'm sorry to hear about you. When is the operation? Am here if need to talk too as been amazing with me x
liz61542 beckylili
Posted
Hi becki thanks for reply. Also here if you need to chat privately. Hopefully your new employers will be sympathetic. My operation is scheduled for end of October! My injury was assessed as urgent end of may though it occurred in January. Slipped on ice broke my humerus in half couldn't sleep for ten weeks because of pain then developed a sleeping disorder depression and anxiety. It's a saga. My bone wouldn't heal properly hence being recommended for surgery. Been on citalopram since May 30 mg and feeling bit better. Depression lifted a lot but still anxious in the mornings. Never normally ill usually full of beans! This has floored me. Felt very isolated live in a small place can't drive couldn't get to work couldn't type or write also ran out of income after 6 months. Luckily had some savings. Life is full of unpredictability. I've got grown up children so got some support and also got great friends who have been amazing. Non the less I still developed a mental illness. Knocked my confidence and identity. Plus total boredom even though I read a lot. Sick of the sight of my living room! I have learnt a lot about myself and my stress levels. So there you have it. Hoping my surgery might be brought forward but not optimistic. Can't wait to get my life back. You (one) needs success in life and positive feedback to recover from stress and burnout and that's why meds will only take you so far.
Think your plan is a good one and it's nice being around dogs when your a bit low. Lots of tail waggery and rumbunctious behaviour. Best wishes again Liz xx
Best wishes.
beckylili liz61542
Posted
Tried to private message you but didn't work.
So sorry to hear what you have been going through it is horrendous the nhs being rubbish has almost caused this. I hope you find when you have the op you will feel better. I cometely get it as had a bad neck injury. I am sorry to hear about you feeling lonely. Get a cat I got 2 kittens and great company. Have you got good friends as they lift my spirit and meditation and mindfulness are good. Also walking helps. I use better help or better me magnesium oil and spray 4 sprays under each foot and will knock you out plus help with pain. Holland and barrett sell it.
I am struggling at the mo as parents don't get anxiety so think I use it as an excuse so my job choice is all.my idea and ignoring them x
liz61542 beckylili
Posted
Hi Becky. I think it's hard for people who have never had anxiety to understand that it's a proper illness and makes you feel terrible with fear and depression and many intrusive thoughts and that it's exhausting and sometimes impossible to function. You have to hold to your truth and experience and know that you are amongst many people who have it. I read that 64 million prescriptions for anti depressants were written worldwide last year. Anxiety is your signal that not all is right in your life : if you are fearing something then you have to change what it is that's giving you that fear. I know as you practice yoga that you will understand how important it is to listen to what your body is telling you. And yes I try to practice mindfulness and meditation and it helps when I do. I am thinking of getting a dog ( already have a cat) but after my surgery. Do you live at home with your parents Becky?
liz61542 beckylili
Posted