Skip to content

protective in pregnancy

Hi I am Autistic with Asperger's Syndrome, currently just under 8 months pregnant with my first child and I would like to know if it is normal to not want anyone but my partner and health professionals to touch my bump? As it is I generally like to have my own personal space, but because of this I am getting told I'm being told im being to over protective can this happen. Also my partner and I are getting a lot of help from our main families, and a friend of his, his partner is pushing a lot of questions in my direction and also having a go at me behind my back because of decisions I've made its making the pregnancy a lot harder, I have explained my reasons for things but it seems they just think its excuses and I feel very upset and hurt because of it. I will admit I have trust issues because of how I have been treated in the past but now I feel they are pushing me to do things I'm not at all happy with. So if I could get some advice on this I would be truly grateful.

7 Replies

  • amy22814

    It’s interesting that women who are not pregnant do not expect people to touch their stomach. This should not change in being pregnant it is your personal preference. 

    Your partners friends partner should not be causing you any anything but positiveness. It’s not clear what they are suggesting and whether these are bog sttandard or not. Ask them to respect your decisions and if they don’t respect then maybe it’s time to spend more time with people that make you feel comfortable. Have a word with your partner he should be sorting this for you. 

    However inwoukd be running these suggestions past someone you trust to get a second opinion. 

    P.S. I would go ballistic if anyone touched my stomach. Nobody has a right to touch your body unless you want them to. 

    • jenny19687

      Thank you jenny for taking the time to comment on the post. I appreciate what your saying, and as I am seeing my midwife next week I will be asking her as well. As it is I know my partners friend means well with being a parent themselves but as I have tried explaining to my partner the way they keep going on about things and the fact she keeps going on about that once the little one is here she wants to always be looking after it and taking over the motherly duties all because she has been told by her partner that she wont be having any more kids. I have given my opinion on how I feel about everything, as I want both my partner's family and my main family to have a lot of contact with the little one, especially if I do end up going back to work at some point.

  • amy22814

    Who is it that wants to touch your bump?  it is your body and you have the right to say who you want to touch you.  If the only people that you want to touch you are your partner and the people helping with your pregnancy then that is your right to do so. 

    I think maybe you should sit your partner down and explain to him how you feel about people talking about you behind your back and ask for his support and help with this. 

    • stephie2

      It is my friends partner, a because she misses being pregnant and b because she has been told by my friend no more kids she is desperate to touch the bump. I know I haven't got long left of the pregnancy as I found out I was pregnant late into it, but at times with her going on and calling me defensive because I don't want her to touch, I've now come up with little excuses to try and stop her from barging in. As it is she's been telling me what I should and shouldn't be doing, even though I've been listening to the professionals and everyone else who are helping me out.

    • amy22814

      Just tell her that you don't want to be mauled and that it is your body and your right.  I would explain to her politely that you have all the information that you need and if you want any help then you will let her know. 

  • amy22814

    I think it's normal to feel that way. I've experience that too. I think it is just a way you wanted to protect yourself and unborn child. It's a mother's instinct. Just do whatever you think is best for your baby.

Report as inappropriate

Thanks for your help!

We want the forums to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the forums are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the forums is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.