Psychosis - an inside story

what they were feeling at the time, this occurred for several days. Then it started to go south, i was just sitting in my bed, then i just felt a strange emotion(the root of which is fear), what to call this emotion to this day i have yet to decide what to call it(psychosis? maybe.). I started to think the government was controlling my mind and giving me mental illnesses so i could heal myself, and that they were studying me. Its hard to remember exactly what happened because i was so terrified, but i believed what i was experiencing was a heightened state of awareness that i was completely not use to, which(for me) was terrifying, and my imagination was running wild telling me aliens and the government was controlling me and i believed it because i was taking every thought that came to my head as the absolute truth(i believe severe anxiety to be the cause). This awareness was mostly into what i was thinking at the time(being an introvert), also trying to analyze absolutely everything that was going on around me at the time. Remembering every detail is hard because what it seems is that i blacked out at certain times and would come to with a new Illness, i was already someone that didn't talk that much in social situations so im sure it was hard to realize i was really catatonic at the time.

Before this event happened, i was reading and talking to people about the government and that they new about aliens and in general were lying to all of us. I believe this is where the fear of government came from. The feelings and delusions had faded but i was still left with alot of anxiety, so this is when i told the doctors what i was really feeling and they put me back into in-patient( i was already in out patient at the time). The delusions just seemed to fade away, but i told the doctors because i wanted to understand. Before i told them, i was on an antidepressant and an anxiety medication, after i told them, i was also on an antipsychotic and a mood stabilizer. In my opinion, i really didn't need them in addition. I hold nothing against them because i know that they had the best intentions, but i believe a lot of chaos is caused with people who have good intentions but don't have full knowledge and understanding of what is happening completely, which in the end causes more harm than good. Partially because they didn't know exactly what was going on in my head and what was my true emotions(because i didn't even know). The one thing i wish they would have done is tell me what were symptoms of a mental illness(this being the other times i went psychotic and was still experiencing psychosis, but had learned to trust them from the previous time), because i was completely unaware while i was telling them and i believe at the very least my subconscious would have been analyzing what was really happening and would have caused a faster recovery( again i hold nothing against them, because this could have just been in my case, and they would have no idea that this would help me.) , they wouldn't see results immediately and may take time to see results but i believe in my case would have been better.    

So what i believe psychosis is(for me at least), is a mixture of several emotions happening at the same time, all which have a root in the thought process, that the brain tries to interpret without having prior, proper, knowledge(i believe correcting them one at a time would help). The person experiencing psychosis being completely unaware of the thoughts and emotions that are occurring at that time. If the person is experiencing psychosis for a very long time, i think something needs to interrupt the thought process that is occurring at the time, which has become comfortable to them. For me i believe i was lucky enough to truly believe deep down that what was going through my head was nonsense and temporary and the anxiety caused me to not get comfortable with it. I am not a psychologist, just someone that has had experiences of psychosis before, so take from this what you will.